Sage advice for the youngsters. Do you agree?

[Tiffani Jameson]

20 Mistakes to avoid in your 20's

I, for one, loved the article, and think it's great. I can identify with all points of this male-centered article.

Would you give this advice to your children? What do you NOT agree with? Here are the general points:

20. Working for money, not for building your dreams

19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love

18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one

17. Making friends instead of earning trust

16. Not caring because you only live once — that is for fools

15. Making all your wants, needs

14. Forgetting that family comes first

13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

11. Sticking with jobs that didn't teach you anything

10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it

9. Failing to energize those around you

8. Think you need to stop learning and growing

7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back

6. Spending your money on women who aren't escorts

5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have

3. Mistaking safe sex for anything besides anal

2. Dating unstable women with mommy and daddy issues

1. Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch

[KarynKumming]

I agree with the article for the most part. However, the time I spent being the typical "soccer mom" were the most rewarding times of my life. I opted for an SUV over the traditional mini-van though (LOL).

[Tiffani Jameson]

I agree Karen. I love being a cheer mom!

While I do think the analogy was a little harsh, I do believe in enhancing yourself so that you're not sitting in the same situation years down the road. My sister got a job at Burger King at 16, and she's still there. She's only an assistant manager 14 years later. To be fair, it's hard to get jobs where she is. But because she's scared as shit to move, she would never quit to go to school or move to get a better job.

[jbravo_123]

I'm pretty certain a lot of that stuff applies no matter what age you are...

[Cpalmson]

There are several I disagree with. First off in your 20s, lots of people have debt, so working for money is a necessity. Besides, it helps build the foundation for later in life when you have the maturity and means to build your dreams. I think one of the big failings we do to kids in their 20s is to tell them to follow their dreams even though they don't have the means to do so. Ever wonder why 30-somethings end up back home? It is because they tried to follow their dreams and failed.

I also disagree with the notion of getting comfortable like you actually deserve some down time. This is the other extreme of what I was talking about earlier. There are some people who work to the extreme. There has to be a healthy balance. Everyone deserves some amount of down time and yes, it is deserved. After all, God rested on the 7th day. If the Big Gut needed downtime, so do we.

Lastly, I disagree with sticking withe jobs that didn't teach you anything. Talk about an arrogant statement. Any job will teach you something. If you don't learn something new, then you are a bad employee. You can always learn from a job-- even if it is beneath you. The real trick is to know when the return of knowledge gained from a job has become marginalized. I learned working minimum wage jobs during college sucked, and that sheepskin from college would ensure not having to work minimum wage as a career.

[pyramider]

No mention of taint ... bogus list.

"20. Working for money, not for building your dreams Too many want immediate gratification.

19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love The embryos are still growing it would be best to wait until things stabilize a bit.

18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one Unfortunately there not too many decent role models.

17. Making friends instead of earning trust Earning trust and respect are not overnight sensations, it takes time. The "friends" are not really friends, more like acquaintances.

16. Not caring because you only live once — that is for fools Too many embryos have not learned how to care or empathize.

15. Making all your wants, needs They need to focus on the needs in the 20's.

14. Forgetting that family comes first Too many crawl up their squeeze of the day's butt and forget about the people that are there.

13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life Many do not understand that there are consequences for their decision making.

12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time C Palm, I disagree with you here. The Big Guy actually did something for six days and He took a day off. Too many embryos want the down time without earning the down time. If they do the work, they get the down time and not visa versa.

11. Sticking with jobs that didn't teach you anything They need to grow. They need to take what they learned, things to do and things NOT to do, at company A to company B and progress.

10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it Its easier to follow than to lead.

9. Failing to energize those around you Do not be a downer. People feed off positive energy. I can kill a meeting or a conference call with a single statement.

8. Think you need to stop learning and growing Once they quit learning they better be in the grave.

7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back Give and do not loan money or time.

6. Spending your money on women who aren't escorts Escorts will be cheaper in the long run. But the embryos need to grow up prior to venturing into the hobby.

5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life Most embryos do not realize that people are judged by the company they keep. You cannot lift them up but they sure can drag you down.

4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have Live beneath your means now so you can live a better life later.

3. Mistaking safe sex for anything besides anal Fucking politicians and stupid human breeders seem to thinck Just Say No is sex education. Parents need to parent and teach their spawns. Too many avoid the sex education and then face the consequences.

2. Dating unstable women with mommy and daddy issues This is true of both sexes. Learn you cannot raise a woman/man up but she/he sure can bring you down. Drama does not aid in long term relationships.

1. Forgetting that karma is a huge bitch Most never learn that what goes around comes around. Karma will bite someone eventually.

[Lucyny]

...I'm not quite sure what lifestyle this is advocating for. There are so many "don't"s that I don't really know what we're building towards? Some sort of executive position, I suppose, where self-belief and sacrifice culminate in mad money and nothing eating it up.

Fairly fluff, easy to read a lot of things into it without knowing exactly what it's going for. But the divide between the stuff you're supposed to put passion into and where you're supposed to be passionless is ... I'm not quite sure if anyone can divide it so neatly.


I'm a little weirded by how women are represented wholly by sinkholes of time and money, and so you'd best at least negotiate for how much of each in a professional relationship. I suppose this fellow's relationships didn't work out so well.

And apparently nothing can ever go wrong with anal sex.

Yeah.

[pyramider]

Have you even read the list? Take a deep breath and read the list.

[Karyn Lovely]

I just wrote about a good 10 paragraphs of disagreements but then decided to erase it all because shit, who was gonna read all of that anyways right? SO I replied with how I interpreted the read (WARNING twisted sense of humor)

20: Building dreams costs money. You don't get something for nothing. Working my job is very convenient for me as it enables me to pay my tuition. Work smarter not harder, university mantra 101. Why would I need to bust my ass if I didn't have to? ( I still have to lol but if there were an easier route to accomplish my goals, why wouldn't I take it?)

19: Don't have to fall in love but shit, what am I supposed to do, be alone during my entire 20's? Some people like relationships, it's easy sex.... hmmm Maybe that's why I'm 6 then?

18: Fake it 'til you make it. Doesn't mean spend all your money trying to pose as the people you want to be, but get in the right mindset and start acting like the person you want to be. If you act like a professional, people will treat you professionally thus enhancing your knowledge of how to become a true professional! Soon that act will become a reality. Bulshitting will only get you so far however, so just don't go overboard.

17: I don't trust a single person on this planet earth. It's good to establish trust, but (for me) I will never get so comfortable with a person to the point where we're swapping social security numbers and shit. And that goes for my parents too in care you were wondering, they're some greedy sumbitches.

16: I agree

15: But I really did need those $200 pumps. Really, I did.

14: My parents are not entitled to my money just because they fucked and one of them pushed me out. I busted my ass to get into college, and I am financially independent. Them raising me is their duty because they had me. In the future I will still support them, but because I LOVE THEM (still subject to change), not because they are entitled to it.

13: The sociologist in me is screaming. That is it.

12: I agree. My vacation is that 2 hour nap I get between going to class in the daytime and working (civvie job) at night. I don't expect anyone to had me anything.

11: You stick with the job that keeps you unhomeless until you have the financial and educational security to be choosy. Bitch you're not entitled to the job you want fresh out of high school. Don't get comfortable. You don't have to avoid the job, just keep your goals clear and be adult enough to leave it and move forward when you are able.

10: I agree. Just don't overdo it and decide you don't want to wear clothes because everyone else is doing it. You will get arrested. A little conformity is necessary.

9: Energize everyone else around me? I can't even energize myself. I'm not anyone's mother. Me nagging at my friend to stop being a bum and get a frigging job is not going to do anything unless THEY DECIDE they want to do it. It is not my responsibility to take care of the next person sorry.

8: Keep track of your money. Save it, invest in stocks or whatever. If things are in your favor, yes don't blow it, but I'll be damned if I'm working a 3am job again. Being a cheap bastard also helps.

7: That's why I don't give money unless I believe someone truly needs it. And if that's the case, I don't expect to see it again.

6: YES YES AND YES. PLEASE SPEND ALL OF YOU MONEY ON ME AND ME ALONE.

5, 4, 3, 2 : I agree

1: A great majority of serial killers have antisocial personality disorder, but so do many CEO's. Something to think about. And karma....a return on all of those good deeds are only applicable to your next life. So if you don't believe in reincarnation, it's time to switch up your religon just sayin..

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Lucyny

...I'm not quite sure what lifestyle this is advocating for. There are so many "don't"s that I don't really know what we're building towards? Some sort of executive position, I suppose, where self-belief and sacrifice culminate in mad money and nothing eating it up.

Fairly fluff, easy to read a lot of things into it without knowing exactly what it's going for. But the divide between the stuff you're supposed to put passion into and where you're supposed to be passionless is ... I'm not quite sure if anyone can divide it so neatly.


I'm a little weirded by how women are represented wholly by sinkholes of time and money, and so you'd best at least negotiate for how much of each in a professional relationship. I suppose this fellow's relationships didn't work out so well.

And apparently nothing can ever go wrong with anal sex.

Yeah.

People in general are represented by sinkholes of time and money. Either the time and money you spend on them is worth it, and you've learned, enjoyed and benefited from both the good and the bad, or you're wasting time and money.

What it builds on is a self-reliant, passion-driven person who is aware of his/her surroundings and the company they keep. The article represents the things you learn later in life, and wish you had known earlier. And yes, while his analogies are a bit harsh, when you get to the core of what he's saying I completely agree.

Because I've seen the pitfalls of just falling for the first person you click with, I'm fairly certain that falling in love and being 'raised by a man' isn't the way to go. It leads to mid-life crises, divorces, and going through the motions when the feelings have long passed. I know a woman married at 18 and divorced by 30 because he played around between the ages of 18 and 28 (when they BOTH were SUPPOSED to be playing the field) and she was stuck at home with the baby and being responsible. He did what he wanted to, and made her feel bad and said SHE was the one cheating when she suggested they wear condoms. When he finally settled down, she was tired of his ass and she divorced him. And of course, she made up for lost time. Because she knew nothing but the 'meet a guy, screw a guy, marry a guy' routine, she had several men in and out of her house and around her kids for the next 8 years. Had she taken her 20's to get to know herself, she may have met a man ready to settle down with her or at least mature enough to be respectful.

Last night my 21 year old brother took a girl to dinner and a movie. He said the girl's conversation was so dry, shallow and boring and he only got a half hug for his efforts. He said for the money he spent on her he could've got some head. He's young, and his process of vetting women for dating purposes needs to be honed and developed. I would think that instead of a young man lying to young ladies or worse to get free sex, hiring a lady wouldn't be such a bad idea. Save the real effort for women that are worth getting to know. There was a reason young men bedded courtesans before they got married. They learned how to be men first.

Being aware of/cutting off your dead-weight friends insures you're not being pulled down by negative energy. That someone in my life that stopped growing made our conversations negative, competitive and catty because she couldn't be happy for me. In trying to energize her, I found myself being weighed down by the fact that she had given up on herself. There is noting wrong with trying to be a catalyst to another person seeing themselves differently, and recognizing potential. It's just gotta be there. I would rather go friendless, and declare everyone an acquaintance if I can't trust the people around me to be genuine.

As far as business and dreams and work is concerned, the problem is that we are surrounded by people who just work. No one volunteers/seeks mentors at a law firm/art gallery/mechanic shop/etc because they're interested in the field anymore. There's no money in that. Parents depend on their children being financially independent after 18, so most times, it's not even possible. I will make sure my future artist has all the tools, influence, and motivation she needs to make her dreams come true. She'll have plenty of time to work to make a living once she's done with school. She will probably get a job somewhere for her own money. She's been wanting to work since she could talk. But I feel like it's my job as a parent to support her until she's REALLY an adult.

I think we are a product of our environment, and some of this won't make sense because of the things we grew up seeing and emulating. While I'm sure that most of you, like myself, are happy with EVERY mistake you've made in life, if/when you ever get to talk to 20 somethings, you most likely give them advice to avoid your mistakes. You tell them to watch who they hang out with, strive to be a better person, respect the opposite sex, give/love/do for others from your heart, use a condom with these fuckers, always learn new things, don't settle for less, and if it don't fit don't force it. This article says nothing different for me.

[awl4knot]

Didn't Shakespeare do this in Polonius's advice to Laertes about 500 years ago?