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rockerrick · 04-08-2013, 11:55 PM

Okie dokie :-)

Kitty D'Luxe · 04-09-2013, 01:04 AM

You gotta give it to the strippers yall, they can't hide shit. Especially when you're barely covered in a mysterious polystretch so bright it's visible from outer space so you better make sure your asshole is bleached evenly because it's highlighted now! Who designs that shit anyway? Synthetic T backs? Those are NOT breathable but god help the stripper with a stank twat... After some of the stories I've been privy to, some of these girls deserve an MChem (Honoris Causa) for managing their pH levels with such skill & accuracy.

Providers, you guys have it easy. After all, you get the ABSOLUTE PLEASURE of being driven to grandiose orgasmic delights for overly generous amounts of time before being left in a puddle of cum and sweat (at a discounted rate of course)... by those guys.

Have fun and they both say this:
Fuck the Hobbyists!

Toyz · 04-09-2013, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitty D'Luxe

You gotta give it to the strippers yall, they can't hide shit. Especially when you're barely covered in a mysterious polystretch so bright it's visible from outer space so you better make sure your asshole is bleached evenly because it's highlighted now! Who designs that shit anyway? Synthetic T backs? Those are NOT breathable but god help the stripper with a stank twat... After some of the stories I've been privy to, some of these girls deserve an MChem (Honoris Causa) for managing their pH levels with such skill & accuracy.

Providers, you guys have it easy. After all, you get the ABSOLUTE PLEASURE of being driven to grandiose orgasmic delights for overly generous amounts of time before being left in a puddle of cum and sweat (at a discounted rate of course)... by those guys.

Have fun and they both say this:

Fuck the Hobbyists!

"Overly Generous Amounts of time"...

"Discounted Rates"....then don't discount! See how long they make rent.

This is a choice industry. No one makes them turn tricks. Simply voluntary. Don't like it? Get out. Can't stand the clientele? Go flip burgers.

Stripper says "I don't like flipping burgers"
Hoogar says "I don't like flipping burgers"

Kitty D'Luxe · 04-09-2013, 02:50 AM

Toys, I liked you better when you spoke construction code.

And you know what? I didn't want to have to find another gross pair of some dudes shit stained underwear left under my bed (parting gift maybe?) so I got a new job! Not flipping burgers!

I did this because I got paid to have orgasms! Unfortunately, some of your "friends" here on the board fucking ruined it because they couldn't stand to RESPECT a "HOOGAR" and treated me like a piece of shit when I didn't deserve it.

So now I'm Kitty D, industry professional. In fact, with your technical speak I suspect we may be in a related field. If so, this time when I take your money, I'll be fucking you in an entirely different, and much less enjoyable way. Then I'm gonna go home and fuck homer. hahaha

PS: Stripper says :You gotta pay me to suck it
Provider says: You gotta pay me to suck it

The kitty D says: suck it, I'm going back to bed. See ya!

endurance · 04-09-2013, 03:34 AM

Joan, the provocateur.

Well done.

Keep the cheer going - at least you don't have a stripper name in real life! (I find myself attracted when she's not making her game face)

Toyz · 04-09-2013, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitty D'Luxe

Toys, I liked you better when you spoke construction code.

And you know what? I didn't want to have to find another gross pair of some dudes shit stained underwear left under my bed (parting gift maybe?) so I got a new job! Not flipping burgers!

I did this because I got paid to have orgasms! Unfortunately, some of your "friends" here on the board fucking ruined it because they couldn't stand to RESPECT a "HOOGAR" and treated me like a piece of shit when I didn't deserve it.

So now I'm Kitty D, industry professional. In fact, with your technical speak I suspect we may be in a related field. If so, this time when I take your money, I'll be fucking you in an entirely different, and much less enjoyable way. Then I'm gonna go home and fuck homer. hahaha

PS: Stripper says :You gotta pay me to suck it
Provider says: You gotta pay me to suck it

The kitty D says: suck it, I'm going back to bed. See ya!

I wondered how long it would take for the "guilt by association" gene to kick in. I was speaking to the hoogar who was taking shots at her johns, not the kitty who is a professional...we seem to have a 404 error here...

I shower right before every visit, and quit leaving skid marks in my teens...
I pay you to LEAVE,,,'cause I can afford to...you see me multiple times & usually at a discounted rate...'cause you like to hang out with me...and I still pay you~sometimes.

John says "Suck it 'cause I'm paying you...
Trick says "Suck it 'cause I'm paying you...
Monger says "Now leave, 'cause I've payed you...

And I like you fine 'cause you bring interesting convo to the board.

harkontume · 04-09-2013, 09:00 AM

[QUOTE=Joan;1052660014]...its been suggested that co-ed is now, "boring". Eh, happens when our most popular members find love and marry off... laugh people!.....ok, now!.....

"She said" vs. "She said"

Stipper replies to mongler "200? Of course I will hang out with you for the next 8 hours, possibly till the sun sets again, may all ur friends join?"
Provider says, "doesn't sound like a good investment."
Wife says: " Go Mow the lawn! Put the lid down! Should'nt you be at work?"

Stippers says, "your buying me a car? Cool!
Provider says, "where is the title?"
Wife says: " I bought a car today! Get over it."

Stripper says, "you mean you want to take care (sugar baby) of me forever and ever"?
Provider thinks" ok, I may have 10 good more years to share I guess
Wife says: You want me to do what? I am done with that.. your gross. BTW.. i bought a car today.

Moral of the tale! Who is in the right profession?

RSB · 04-09-2013, 12:39 PM

Stripper says: I need to leave my phone in my locker because my boyfriend tracks me by the GPS.
Provider says: What do you mean I have GPS? My rates are in line with all the other providers.

Stripper says: Can you pay me in twenties and ones so my boyfriend doesn't find out I'm fucking around on him?
Provider says: I don't care if you pay me in pennies, just pay me.

Stripper says: Incall? I don't know what you mean. But, we can use that booth in the corner.
Provider says: Incall? Sure, the address is 69 Fuckme Blvd.

Stripper says: Outcall? Do you mean when I make a call from my phone?
Provider says: Outcall? Sure, that will be an extra $50 to cover travel expenses.

Stripper says: I've never done this before.
Provider says: I am well reviewed.

Stripper says: So you know Whispers? Well then, we are good to go. Do you want to leave now?
Provider says: So you know Whispers? Well then I need 3 provider references within the last 10 days, two P411 OKs, your SS#, your drivers license, and 50% cash advance.

knotty man · 04-09-2013, 12:41 PM

stripper says, "Eww, whats that?"
provider says, "Don't you EVER take a shit at my incall again!!!"

Whispers · 04-09-2013, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rattlesnakebyte

Stripper says: So you know Whispers? Well then, we are good to go. Do you want to leave now?
Provider says: So you know Whispers? Well then I need 3 provider references within the last 10 days, two P411 OKs, your SS#, your drivers license, and 50% cash advance.

LMFAO!

Whispers · 04-09-2013, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rattlesnakebyte

Stripper says: So you know Whispers? Well then, we are good to go. Do you want to leave now?
Provider says: So you know Whispers? Well then I need 3 provider references within the last 10 days, two P411 OKs, your SS#, your drivers license, and 50% cash advance.

LMFAO!

To clarify. ... 98% of the girls I know have no idea who whispers is. And none of them will go any where with any one unless I actually make the introduction and vouch for someone.

RSB · 04-09-2013, 01:46 PM

Oh, I know that!

Glad you enjoyed it...

Whispers · 04-10-2013, 01:05 AM

You might but every week some guy seems to think mentioning "whispers" in a club is going to get him somewhere.....

rockerrick · 04-10-2013, 08:05 AM

It opens doors ....... no one said which way you'll be traveling thru them though

Joan · 04-10-2013, 07:08 PM

Stripper says: buy me the most expensive drink please? The atm is over there!
Provider says: what is Your favorite refreshment? I have a fully stocked bar.

Stipper says: "yippy! The rose lady lady is here!..I'll take 3 of every color! Do you have any in clear? Because thats my favorite color."
Provider says: thank you so much for going out of your way to bring me this beautiful bouquet, how very thoughtful.