One woman's response to outing

[sue_nami]

Altho I am not the author, I am reprinting this from a fetish site I am on because I feel it is pertinent here.

I'm a proud whore: A message to the person that outed me.

The other day I was working a public cam girl room and was discovered by someone I went to high school with...
I want to make it clear that there is no shame in my game. I am not embarrassed by any of my kinks, taking my clothes off, or fucking myself for money. I do not feel bad about making a living by "selling my body". I do not care who knows what I do. I am an unrepentant, guiltless, whore by choice.
I do not have a problem with being "discovered." What I do have a problem is the fact that they used my full name in a public room (and linked it to my pictures and website), and tried to slut shame, as well as blackmail me.
That being said, FUCK YOU ( I know you are reading this, keep it up, harassment is illegal)
Outing me by giving my clients my real name is cruel and has the potential to cause great harm to me. My pseudonym provides me with the ability to work freely, without fear of being stalked/raped/murdered by clients. I take great care to ensure my safety and keep my personal information private for just this reason.
I would like to thank you for taking that away from me. I hope it feels good. I hope your balls feel much bigger now.
There were a lot of things that you said to me that I would like to address.
"How does it feel to be a demeaned whore?"- It feels great! I wake up everyday with a smile on face, get in the shower, put some pretty clothing on, and get paid (very well, I might add) to have amazing orgasms. Also, I do not feel demeaned. I love my body, I have respect for myself, and I love what I do.
"Are you a crack hoe now, or couldn't get a real job?" - I am not on any drugs. I am not desperate. I am well educated. I CHOSE TO BE A WHORE. Yup, thats right... I made a conscious decision, despite having a degree, to do sexual acts for money. I am okay with and own this fact.
"Don't you care about the shame this brings to your family?" I refuse to let other people feelings dictate what I do with my life. If they, or anyone else have a problem with what I do or how I conduct myself, that is a flaw in them, it is not my problem. I can't make anyone feel anything, including shame.
"You are useless and are only good for one thing."- Whores are talented people who get paid for their sex appeal AND their skills. There is a whole lot more to me than just a some holes... People wouldn't pay me if that was the case. I am confident in myself and don't need your validation. I know who I am and that there are many things I am good for other than sex.
"You are a dirty slut, who is ever you going to love you?" - I am a dirty slut and I know for a fact there are people who love me for that reason, not despite it. These are people who would love and respect me no matter what I choose to do as long as I was still a good person. Those are they people I want in my life, they are the only ones who matter.
" You are nothing but a whore who probably has STDS." - Reality check dickbag, sex workers are often more knowledgeable about sexual health – and practice safe sex more often – than the general population. Not to mention we get tested more often, and are more conscious of the potential risk that come with sex.
-On a side note, I have to say, telling me I am "nothing but a whore" kind of makes my pussy wet. How does that make you feel?-
I appreciate the attempts that were made to try and make me feel bad for what I do, scare and extort me, but I am too strong for that. You picked the wrong girl. I refuse to be slutshamed, embarrassed, or ostracized because of how I choose to make my living... or for anything else for that matter. Pervasive stigma against sex workers is not something I am willing accept.
I am proud to admit that I am a dirty, unashamed, freaky, whore.
You aren't going to break me. I am not going to cry. Like I said though, good try.

[sue_nami]

again I did not write this, just sharing,

[Little Monster]

"...He who is without sin among you, Let him cast the first stone at her...."

[JohnConner799]

Where did you find this at? I want to web cam with this girl, I like her attitude.

[Poet Laureate]

What gets to me, and has for quite some time, is that many of the men (and it's almost always men, isn't it?) who spout the drivel we see in this post are the same men who at some point chose to take pleasure in the arms of providers. Then something happens, maybe they fall in love and are rejected, maybe they run out of cash and their Pretty Woman fantasy is dashed, maybe half a dozen other things, but something happens and they get angry. So what do they do? They take it out on the lady.
-
NEWSFLASH: IF YOU WEREN'T STANDING THERE WITH CASH IN YOUR HAND, SHE WOULDN'T BE STANDING THERE TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF, YOU IDIOT! A whore (and I really hate that word) is a whore for one reason, and one reason only: because we as hobbyists are right in front of them, asking them to do things to us and for us, and paying them to do it. For myself, I look at it this way: Take me away, and she's back to whatever it was she was doing before. Teacher, supervisor, hair stylist, secretary, dancer, mom, student, whatever.
-
The Colombians are not at fault for supplying us with the illegal drugs we use.
The Mob was not at fault during Prohibition for supplying us with the alcohol we drank.
The Provider is not at fault for doing what she does.
WE AS HOBBYISTS are as responsible as the ladies themselves. It really does take two to Tango, after all.
-
Another thing. ONLY A WHORE? Spoken like a true male chauvinist jackass. I cannot imagine the stresses or costs of what these women go through on a daily basis, making sure they're looking their best, clean, well-groomed, well-dressed (including lingerie, which having been married twice I know damn well ain't cheap) smelling nice, having a nice place for us to visit, and dealing with different men every day, men who demand different things, who are constantly trying to get the lady to lower her prices or give us more time (mea maxima culpa), who ask them to do things they really don't enjoy but pretend they do so we go away happy and might even return, all for the almighty buck. For some of these ladies, they are there by choice. For others, society has convinced them (whether true or not) that this is all they're good for, and for some unfortunate others, they are being forced to do this. The sheer arrogance of those who criticize these ladies this enrages me.
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Don't get me wrong and don't misunderstand. I am not a white knight. I don't defend blindly. I know that a few, a very few, of those providers will rob me blind if they get the chance. I figure it's about the same percentage as of the guys who will short a donation, or pick the entire envelope back up on the way out when the lady's not looking, or negotiate a review discount and then blow off the review. That in particular makes me livid, and I can't understand the girls who don't out those guys right away.
-
Providers have a very difficult job, and just because some of them truly enjoy what they do doesn't make it easy. It's time that we all recognize this. You may live next door to a mechanic. He may wander over to your driveway one fine Saturday and spend six hours helping you fix your car. He'll get filthy dirty, tear a finger nail, bang his head a couple times, and in the end the car is fixed. He thoroughly enjoyed himself while he was fixing your car, but don't you dare tell me it was easy.
-
I have learned to respect providers. Even the ones I dislike, who are honestly very few, and the ones who dislike me, who I rather suspect are a few more, I still have respect for. Theirs is a difficult life. At this point in my life, single, working too much to have a civilian GF, I for one am grateful they chose it.
-
Hold your head up, Miss whoever you are. You have nothing to apologize for and nothing to be ashamed of.

[homer13]

Two of the longest posts I couldn't finish in a long time

[fun2come]

I did read it all, and Thank You all 3 (Sue for posting, Poet for encouraging and showing respect, and the unknown Lady for handling herself FANTASTICly).

I too respect all of you Ladies who are here for us.

[texasfeet]

Slut-shamed is actually a new term for me and I believe I'll be working that one into everyday conversations now. Shame on anyone who outs anyone else....

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by homer13

Two of the longest posts I couldn't finish in a long time

+1

[sue_nami]

short attention span theater for you guys? let me condense it for u. " Fuck you and the horse u rode in on for outing me you asshole." LOL. slut shaming is a REAL problem for all women who dare to be sexually adventurous and enjoy multiple partners. Some of u guys do it here all the time. I am a proud slut.

[homer13]

Originally Posted by sue_nami

short attention span theater for you guys? let me condense it for u. " Fuck you and the horse u rode in on for outing me you asshole." LOL. slut shaming is a REAL problem for all women who dare to be sexually adventurous and enjoy multiple partners. Some of u guys do it here all the time. I am a proud slut.

I actually made it through yours, Poets on the other hand not so much.

[rockerrick]

Anyone who would participate in this hobby , and look down on you for providing is a hypocritical nitwit . And outing someone who has not wronged you is beyond fucked up !

[The Artist]

My ATF was outed and it eventually caused her to retire. She was amazing and UTR. 3 or 4 really intense orgasms [like a hand squeezing you hard] in a session was routine in the slow and relaxed appointments. Going to be hard to find her replacement, but I'm up for the challenge. :-) Thanks for sharing Sue. Wonder what the guy was doing cruising the video site? Probably a Scorpio.

[Kitty D'Luxe]

Sue, you weren't outed- were you? I hope not!

Thanks for posting this by the way, I have very strong opinions on slut shaming... The worst slut shame I have ever been subjected to in the hobby was by a (now former) client & my (now ex) boyfriend. It's one thing for some anonymous jerkass to spout off some bullshit, but hits much harder when its by someone who you actually respect or care about.

[LordBeaverbrook]

Originally Posted by sue_nami

I am a proud slut.

+1

Originally Posted by Kitty D'Luxe

but hits much harder when its by someone who you actually respect or care about.

+1000 Are you sure you don't mean "respected"? That and the hypocrisy would destroy respect for me, but I can't disavow caring. Once i care, I pretty much always care, so yes that hurts terribly. OTOH, one can't really feel or know the warmth and depth of friendship, care or love if there is no risk of being hurt. Those emotions/connections require risk of rejection, but if you dare, it can often be worth it.

Outing and shaming are both ancient control tactics that are shameful in and of themselves. They have been used in families, clans and religions mostly to control women and children and are probably more responsible for all the fucked up people in this world than just about anything I can think of. We have developed ideals of being equal and free (and so should never seek to demean and control by belittling and shaming for who someone is) but rarely live up to those fully due to human nature and old cultural habits dying hard. Too bad.

Thanks for this Sue and Kitty.