Lives of Quiet Desperation

[proudoftexas]

The biggest audience for any forum like this one is the lurker audience. A schockingly small percentage of people who actively look at any active message board site ever participates in any way.

I don't find anything you're saying all that surprising, Jessica. I'm glad these guys have found you as a provider. It sounds like you do your job very well. Thanks for posting about it.

[London Rayne]

Yes, I realize what clients pay top dollar for, but luckily I don't have to pretend. I have over 150 reviews over 5 years, so apparently, they know exactly what it is in me they are seeking out, and I don't mind lol.

If I truly cared about my client's feelings, and it was more than just sex, I would not charge them to "talk." In fact, I don't lol. My 2 hour min. usually includes dinner OFF the clock for guys I have a rapport with, so who is deluded here? I won't fk a married man for free, but I have no issues going to dinner for free. So, although I don't pull any punches and see the forest for the trees, I also don't mix words, split hairs, and contradict myself. I could not fathom charging someone I "claim" to be concerned about 500 bucks just to go eat, and on his dime no less.

[JessicaKnightly]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

Yes, I realize what clients pay top dollar for, but luckily I don't have to pretend. I have over 150 reviews over 5 years, so apparently, they know exactly what it is in me they are seeking out, and I don't mind lol.

If I truly cared about my client's feelings, and it was more than just sex, I would not charge them to "talk." In fact, I don't lol. My 2 hour min. usually includes dinner OFF the clock for guys I have a rapport with, so who is deluded here? I won't fk a married man for free, but I have no issues going to dinner for free. So, although I don't pull any punches and see the forest for the trees, I also don't mix words, split hairs, and contradict myself. I could not fathom charging someone I "claim" to be concerned about 500 bucks just to go eat, and on his dime no less.

Obviously you have never been married. When you are married and your husband has a good paying job and you don't work, it doesn't matter how much you love him, he will still be paying your bills. Just because I let the men I love, or just am very fond of, help pay my bills doesn't mean I don't really care about them. I still have to eat. I still have bills to pay.

When you go out to dinner with these guys, do you pay for their meal or do you go dutch? Because if they are paying for your meal, does that mean you can't "claim" to be concerned about them?

Just like a teacher gets paid to care for her students, does that mean she can truly care about them? Or a foster parent (not the bad ones that really do take in kids for the money) that raises a child that the gov. helps support, does that mean she/he can't really love the child as their own??

In a way, I see myself as a caregiver. Yes, I get paid for the care I give, but I still care for the men I see.

No contradictions from me.

[Laz]

Originally Posted by JessicaKnightly

Obviously you have never been married. When you are married and your husband has a good paying job and you don't work, it doesn't matter how much you love him, he will still be paying your bills. Just because I let the men I love, or just am very fond of, help pay my bills doesn't mean I don't really care about them. I still have to eat. I still have bills to pay.

New way to market your business - Rent a wife. You can have straight rental for a given time. Time share wives, Rent to own programs etc. Wives can come with limited functionality or be full service including emotional support. I can see some great commercials now. To be fair there would have to be a rent a husband program as well. God help us when the ladies start coming up with the variation on that program.

[Laz]

Originally Posted by Laz

New way to market your business - Rent a wife. You can have straight rental for a given time. Time share wives, Rent to own programs etc. Wives can come with limited functionality or be full service including emotional support. I can see some great commercials now. To be fair there would have to be a rent a husband program as well. God help us when the ladies start coming up with the variation on that program.

PS - Jessica I respect that you care about your clients. This is not to slam what you are stating.

[JessicaKnightly]

No worries Laz, I used to call myself a "rent-a-wife" years ago. But, then I realized I don't nag, pick up dirty socks, or complain. Plus, I still put out.

[Laz]

No nagging, complaining or jealousy. That is an ad that would get my attention. Hell, if I had that when I was married I probably would not be here. No drinking would be the final requirement since that led to the rest.

[TheAntichrist666]

Whenever I hear of a "sexless marriage" I just have a difficult time understanding why or what is the point of it. I just can't stand and I find it impossible for me to bear the concept of a "sexless marriage" as something that can be considered "normal". What is the point of getting married if you can't have sex? It is like having a juicy steak being served in front of you and then being told that you can only stare at it and not eat it. This is just sad = (

[woodyboyd]

Originally Posted by JessicaKnightly

The worst thing is these men often feel guilty for being human and having basic human needs. We all need to be loved, touched, hugged, etc.

Are there any men in here that fit this description? Or are you all just a bunch of horn dogs looking for a wet spot to pound for an hour or two?

Jessica, I fucked so many women in Brazil a few years ago the unthinkable happened, I got bored of sex. The hottest woman I was with was the last one, and it wasn't memorable because it was so like all the other ones.

What I found is the best sex is with someone I cared about, and it doesn't have to be one person. I have a lot of sugar babies now, and the sex is a lot better than with some sterile provider. Yes, loving touching, and hugging lead to great sex and vice versa.

As for marriage, there are a lot of parties pushing for it for their own financial and political agendas. Governments LOVE marriage because it is an open ended contract. You are marrying your spouse and the state, and the state can alter the contract at any time.

In Texas, the state did just that a year ago. A new law was passed that said that any money that is spent without your spouse's knowledge can be called fraud against the community. So if I go to work, take great care of my wife financially, and come to you and pay you with money that I earned, that is called fraud. Because any money I earn is automatically half my wife's.

This whole half hers (or his) thing is such bullshit. A woman with five young kids whose husband is making $50,000 per year is deemed to be worth $25000 per year. OTOH, a wife with one child, say an independent 16 year old, whose husband is making $1 million per year is worth $500,000 per year? Only the government could devise a scheme that screwed up.

So it is no wonder that guys get stuck, and women do too. What really should happen is that couples should write their own marriage contracts and tell the state to fuck off. Every marriage should have prenuptial agreements with renegotiations every five or so years.

Marriage is glamorized so much that people don't really get what the state is doing. The concept that an 18 year old can enter into a life long contract with another 18 year old is so stupid it makes my head hurt. Both men and women don't really get what they are signing up for. I sure as hell didn't.

My only friend who is happily married is the product of a divorced family. He knew how devastating divorce was and set up a prenup to protect his assets, but he took care of his wife too.

[London Rayne]

I've been married TWICE actually lol. My post was not directed at you girl, just in general. It seems me saying what I do leads some to think I am a cold hearted bitch, but my off the clock time certainly contradicts that. If I did not truly value talking to 'some' of them, I would be on my merry way after sex with no extras offered. It's been said many times, that women really hate being escorts or we would not charge so much, so yes I get your point. I guess if I really loved banging random strangers, I would do it for free bwahahaha.

I've just never seen the need to charge an outlandish amount for talking, so I never have. Besides, do you honestly think they get a word in? LOL...poor guys.

Originally Posted by JessicaKnightly

Obviously you have never been married. When you are married and your husband has a good paying job and you don't work, it doesn't matter how much you love him, he will still be paying your bills. Just because I let the men I love, or just am very fond of, help pay my bills doesn't mean I don't really care about them. I still have to eat. I still have bills to pay.

When you go out to dinner with these guys, do you pay for their meal or do you go dutch? Because if they are paying for your meal, does that mean you can't "claim" to be concerned about them?

Just like a teacher gets paid to care for her students, does that mean she can truly care about them? Or a foster parent (not the bad ones that really do take in kids for the money) that raises a child that the gov. helps support, does that mean she/he can't really love the child as their own??

In a way, I see myself as a caregiver. Yes, I get paid for the care I give, but I still care for the men I see.

No contradictions from me.

[proudoftexas]

The JessicaKnightly of Phone Sex Operators

[London Rayne]

Relationships change and evolve into more of a friendship than a marriage filled with sex, many times. I can't imagine ever being with a guy for more than 2 years, unless he lived in another state, we had separate houses, and I only saw him on the weekends. For me, it is the routine of having that same person up your ass and still being expected to be turned on by them. My parents have been married 44 years, and I simply don't know how they do it.

I get bored very quickly with the same person, so I guess that's why neither of my marriages lasted even a year. The sex never got old, but they did.

Originally Posted by TheAntichrist666

Whenever I hear of a "sexless marriage" I just have a difficult time understanding why or what is the point of it. I just can't stand and I find it impossible for me to bear the concept of a "sexless marriage" as something that can be considered "normal". What is the point of getting married if you can't have sex? It is like having a juicy steak being served in front of you and then being told that you can only stare at it and not eat it. This is just sad = (

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by JessicaKnightly

The topic of intimacy and married men came up in another thread and made me think of this. How many married men have turned to this hobby out of a desperate need that they couldn't find in their marriage? I have met many men that have gone years in a sexless marriage (two men that went over 10 years) before going the route of hiring a provider.

One of my clients told me he had thought he was looking for sex (which his wife had stop giving him after the birth of their now 7 yr old), but discovered he was really looking for intimacy. Someone to talk to, someone to hold hands with, someone to show him the attention he so lacked at home.

There are so many men in loveless, sexless marriages that gravitate towards seeing providers. We all have a human desire to be loved. I realize some providers will say, "that's not my job" and that's fine. But, I can't help having a soft spot for these that need what I have an abundance to give.

The worst thing is these men often feel guilty for being human and having basic human needs. We all need to be loved, touched, hugged, etc.

Are there any men in here that fit this description? Or are you all just a bunch of horn dogs looking for a wet spot to pound for an hour or two?

I think this is a very tricky topic, but a very good one! Thanks for bringing it up, Jessica!.

I think longer marriages are not necessary "loveless" . I think they can evolve into something that lacks sex sometimes, which is supported by the studies that suggest that marriages evolve into intimate friendships with love and the passion and hot affairs (like we escorts provide sometimes) is something that can only be had IF the relationship is unstable or distant, which is the case with providers or secret lovers.

There is a reason why people don`t divorce. And I don^t think it`s because they lack sufficient marital input. Sometimes it`s easier for "men" to fill a void they think they have by paying, but oftentimes, If you have the chance to hear TWO sides of the story (the husbands AND the wives) than you come to a lot of different conclusions.

That said, I do tend to say that men hiring escorts - boo hoo, yes I know I am one - are often manipulative and like to be in control. That - on the other hand - can make a marriage "stagnating" because - opf course - they also manipulated their wives in certain positions with their agendas. If the marriage was "equal" there would probably be a lot more fights, and the wives would be a lot different as well. It is not so easy to say - oh the man have basic needs of touching and this and that - well, what shall the wives say? I assume they have that , too.

Other than that I think - again - that escorting is a kind of therapy, but also , I know why I charge money. And only REAL intimacy is free. And if a marriage lacks intimacy or the husband feels the need to search "intimacy" outside a marriage it is certainly not only the wife`s fault. Sometimes such men are lacking the basic skills of authenticity, which makes the wives respond in an authentic way.

or they like to keep all fields open to play around, keeping others at their positions. It is valid. But it is a reason why escorts get paid, aka the service aspect.
I am all for emotions, but I have a real problem with the "emotionalizing" the escorting aspect. Which means that escorts then sell "love", "Intimacy" and "real affection". Because - clearly - IMHO - these things can`t be bought, no matter what kind of fire and heat between client and escort is ignited through passion. The relationship remains "inflexible" probably similar to the marriage. But the point is, the men are sometimes to afraid to give up their position of power, and let things develop at it`s own pace. And I think the need to pay escorts is a method of control and keeping "in power". That is not meant to be negative. It is a method to support the "status quo" in a marriage and not to change it.
A change can only happen when there is a fair exchange between two adult people. (Minimum)

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

That said, I do tend to say that men hiring escorts - boo hoo, yes I know I am one - are often manipulative and like to be in control. That - on the other hand - can make a marriage "stagnating" because - opf course - they also manipulated their wives in certain positions with their agendas. If the marriage was "equal" there would probably be a lot more fights, and the wives would be a lot different as well. It is not so easy to say - oh the man have basic needs of touching and this and that - well, what shall the wives say? I assume they have that , too.

Other than that I think - again - that escorting is a kind of therapy, but also , I know why I charge money. And only REAL intimacy is free. And if a marriage lacks intimacy or the husband feels the need to search "intimacy" outside a marriage it is certainly not only the wife`s fault. Sometimes such men are lacking the basic skills of authenticity, which makes the wives respond in an authentic way.

or they like to keep all fields open to play around, keeping others at their positions. It is valid. But it is a reason why escorts get paid, aka the service aspect.
I am all for emotions, but I have a real problem with the "emotionalizing" the escorting aspect. Which means that escorts then sell "love", "Intimacy" and "real affection". Because - clearly - IMHO - these things can`t be bought, no matter what kind of fire and heat between client and escort is ignited through passion. The relationship remains "inflexible" probably similar to the marriage. But the point is, the men are sometimes to afraid to give up their position of power, and let things develop at it`s own pace. And I think the need to pay escorts is a method of control and keeping "in power". That is not meant to be negative. It is a method to support the "status quo" in a marriage and not to change it.
A change can only happen when there is a fair exchange between two adult people. (Minimum)

Perfectly stated. Anyone thinking that a relationship is not going to go through stages, including stages of non sexual bonding, is simply deluded. Marriage is not a feeling, it's a decision.

If this business has taught me anything, it's that you don't actually have to "feel" like having sex on a given day, to still be able to do it, get off, and act like there is no place you would rather be. The wife is the biggest and best paid companion of all, so that is the mindset many of them should adopt.

Do it for HIM, and in turn he might do something for you. If it is to the point where you are actually disgusted at the thought of having sex with that person, move on. Our incentive here is that envelope, and anyone saying otherwise would not be here, or they would be a wanton slut doing it for free. Try putting a few hundred by the night table and ask the wifey for some loving...I bet she jumps at it lol.

[bojulay]

Originally Posted by SidneyStarr

Yeah I hear the stories, but what get s me is the guys that say they are married to the sexiest woman ever, they are having great sex and yet, they still see providers. Total downer. My guy friend said today that men are wired differently. They have a genetic impulse to spread their seed. So there, LOL. Straight from the horses mout

Nah, guys just buy into beer commercials, movies, and half witted
TV sitcoms.

When I'm with a girl in a relationship, I don't cheat on
her with anyone.

That genetic impulse story is just a convenient excuse.

Newsflash to all you women out there----A lot of guys
are just dumber than a box of rocks.