The Myth of the Female Orgasm, with apologies to Garrison Keillor

[ozmosys]

It's been a quiet week in Co-Ed. Maxeen had a birthday, and the Norwegian bachelor farmers gang-banged her in tribute. And Ozmosys, that sad little creature whom everyone despises, probably because he uses the word "whom", has found a new all-time favorite ... as he does practically every day. But he's kind of keeping it to himself. For now at least. We'll see if it's any different this time.

But his creative juices are flowing. So what better time than the Christmas holidays to find out if anyone is awake out there. Are all the creative folks too busy procreating under the mistletoe? Or maybe they're all just out buying Christmas gifts for their already-created progeny? I think that's probably what it is.

We hear a lot of talk about provider orgasms, or even female orgasms in general. But it's an elusive creature. Usually, there is no squirting of telltale fluids, so the women have the men at a disadvantage. The women ... <sound of slow inhalation, even slower exhalation with a final and dramatic asthmatic wheeze> ... have no insecurity about <wheezes again> the subject of orgasms, because they know when their guy is getting off, and they know when they are getting off. Probably their only insecurity is, why couldn't they get him off a little sooner. Or maybe themselves a little more frequently, as the case may be.

The guys out at the Sidetrack Tap talk a lot about female orgasms, particularly the ones that they consider themselves personally responsible for.

And Cosmopolitan magazine has practically invented an industry surrounding it. But what is the female orgasm exactly? It's a mystery to most of us men, and probably will stay that way for awhile.

Pastor Ingvist wrote a sermon about the subject. He told the congregation that if women have to have orgasms, that he has nothing against it in principle, but why do they have to be so vocal about it.

The Sons of Knute are assembling a team of engineers to solve this eternal question. They're doing scientific research, and gathering up all kinds of technical equipment, kind of like the Ghost Busters, to solve this mystery once and for all.

But they can't quite come up with a name for their tag team. And what would you call that exactly? Mythbusters has already been taken. Well I suppose that can wait for another day.

Whispers has some hungry kiddos that he's feeding, so everyone dig deep into your pockets and lets all help them out here as much as we can. We are all so fortunate in so many ways. Sometimes we forget that.

Ozmosys has a new set of puppies to take care of now, and he takes a little joy with his sad little soul, in taking this worn out old bone, the myth of the female orgasm, out of the cupboard, and repackaging it, and presenting it to his pack of hungry puppies to gnaw upon. Or maybe not.

That's the news from ECCIE, where all the women are bitches, all the men are pricks, and all the orgasms are above-average.

Brought to you by Powdermilk Condoms. Heavens, they're tasty, and expeditious.

[rockerrick]

Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzz it's over ! Wow I must have nodded ? Just fucking with you Oz !

[ozmosys]

Wow! I have never seen so few hits to any thread ever! Thank you to my ignoring fans!

[rockerrick]

Holy Crap , you're right . That sucks , with all the totally uninspired what hotel should I use even though I've been here 20 times threads , an original thread gets that little . Boooooo !

[ozmosys]

Originally Posted by rockerrick

Holy Crap , you're right . That sucks , with all the totally uninspired what hotel should I use even though I've been here 20 times threads , an original thread gets that little . Boooooo !

And the reviews are in! Rockerrick says, "Zzzzzzz." "That sucks", "totally uninspired", "Booooo"

No other reviewer even bothered to write a review. And so "The Myth of the Female Orgasm" folds on opening night.

And the playwright wanders aimlessly from the bright lights of Co-Ed, zig-zagging to avoid the used condoms on the cobblestones surrounding the Sandbox, and climbs the stairs to his lonely, low-rent apartment in the Locker Room, illuminated by just the barest incandescent light bulb.

Maybe someday he'll write another one-man show. Or maybe not. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

[rockerrick]

Gotta wonder how many rockets blew up on the pad , before they made it to the moon ?
Nice try Oz !

Really like the way you took this reviewers words out of context to make it fit your ThreAdvertisement !

[Leslie Lane 1]

You're too funny Oz....

[ozmosys]

Originally Posted by Leslie Lane 1

You're too funny Oz....

Oh, please, just a little lower, he says to his own wet dream. But he wakes up suddenly, in a pool of sweat, his head throbbing from the Guinness's that a street person used to club him in the head ... of his penis, and his big head is also a little sore.

[Maxeen Monroe]

It's interesting because it is an art to make a woman orgasm. And some really have it.

It begins at oral... doing oh so right...teasing and tempting....but not giving too much too soon... then giving A LOT ... then pulling back to tease yet again....then after analyzing her moans and girations you go full speed ahead teasing and toying with every sensitive area you have gotten to know so well. YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! That's how u do it fellas. take notes. I do

[ozmosys]

Originally Posted by Maxeen Monroe

It's interesting because it is an art to make a woman orgasm. And some really have it.

It begins at oral... doing oh so right...teasing and tempting....but not giving too much too soon... then giving A LOT ... then pulling back to tease yet again....then after analyzing her moans and girations you go full speed ahead teasing and toying with every sensitive area you have gotten to know so well. YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! That's how u do it fellas. take notes. I do

Why Maxeen! What are you doing under me. No wait, now I'm under you. My, how people cum and go so quickly around here.

I think my rocket may have just blown up on the pad.