Teaching ...

[ElisabethWhispers]

As I get older, my client base gets much younger (Hence my continual yearning for men over 50!). Sometimes, they will visit me with the intention of learning more about sex and how to do "it" better.

So my question to everyone here, male and female, is did you have a mentor of sorts or someone special who taught you wonderful tricks and skills to make you a better lover? Or did you learn just by trying to be the best partner that you could and you picked up ideas and skills as you went along?

My experience is probably the latter even though I was very sexually active before my time doing this. Since becoming a sex worker, I've learned a LOT from my client base. Especially in the realm of alternative play. And God Bless everyone of them!

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Elisabeth

[Taylor Sims]

I believe I have a few guys that I would say helped me more then they ever will know from kissing to learning to be better at oral skills. We all can learn from someone if we have an open mind.

[thisguy23]

Self taught, doesnt sound that good when you think about it.

Still learning.

[stugots]

No mentor here but probably could have used one. I just fumbled my way around and did the best I could. Read alot and hopefully learn a thing or 2 when on the rare occassion I get to play in this hobby.

[cumalot]

I'm sure I've picked up a few tricks along the way from the many providers that I've been blessed to see. I never thought about the Kink until this last year. Ms. Athena has become my mentor and teacher of the fine art of Kink ever since.

[Ms. Athena]

The day I stop learning is the day I die..............Knowledge is power and I crave new challenges everyday.....

[awl4knot]

EW, You are always asking provocative questions which make me, at least, think.

In all honesty, the most person most influential in shaping my sexual personality was my last SO. She was a hot little thing who took enormous pride in her sexual capabilities and I met her at a time that I wanted to expand my sensual horizons. Together we gently pushed and cajoled each other to try new things and to become better lovers. For example, I learned about massage as a way to work through her tensions so that she would be in the mood for love making, and I often will give a massage early in a session to warm a provider to the task. She also introduced me to the power of garter belts, hose and high heels.

The second most influential source isn't a person, it's the porn industry. Just watching porn gave me new ideas and techniques that were way beyond my limited imagination. It would have taken my decades to come up with the novel idea of combining DATY with digits. Who would have thought of that? Not this dull boy. Who would have thought that some women like a little anal stimulation during K9? Not this dull boy.

Boards like this are also a source of information and provide feedback. For example, I remember when I had an issue with mild domination, and you made some comments that helped me put it into perspective. Thank you again.

However, I'm a basic meat and potatoes lover and avoid the more frenzied and kinkier aspects of human sexuality. I am interested in the Gestalt of a session, so I have learned how to be more responsive to the needs of my partner and still advance my goal of obtaining my kind of satisfaction. This may sound pretentious and silly, but I try to have a holistic approach that creates an atmosphere where both of us can relax, be giving and receptive at the same time. And it works for me.

[plainjoe]

Elisabeth, I believe it's a bit of give and take - I learn from my experiences with the ladies and I believe that some (a small population) learn from me. The saying, variety is the spice of life definitely is in play in the hobby. I research and meet different ladies because of the experiences that each lady provides. Thus, my preferences to meet mature, experienced ladies (MILFs, GILFs) that definitely know what they are doing.

[DallasRain]

great post!

I can say that I have learned the most from my personal experiences with my SO....we started out in life as swingers/soulmates & best friends.....and thru that, plus my work,we have gained alot of knowledge and been thru some really kinky wonderful adventures!!

I have some great clients that have also taught me interesting things about different sexual aspects

[AdventureAdams]

Originally Posted by Ms. Athena

The day I stop learning is the day I die..............Knowledge is power and I crave new challenges everyday.....

YOU are my idol, I wouldn't mind you be my professor.

[pyramider]

Porn is the best teacher. Where else can you learn about women dropping their panties when a tard walks by?

[canuckvic]

I'm self taught but I am and will always be a great listener. I pay attention to the littlest of details. I'm a student from the school of hard knocks! Trial and error but either way its been a path of fun!

[guest043013-2]

Porn is probably the worst teacher of how to be a "lover" with someone you care about. And your basic BP provider, quickies, Blow and Go, etc. are not much better typically.

I say typically, because mastering the art of a quickie is actually a good skill set. It is one tool in the erotic arsenal. But learning your sex partner, learning new tricks, and yes, as has been said, never stop learning, is important.

If all you have for goals is either making babies or excreting body fluids, then skills are not overly important. Most guys without medical issues can achieve an erection and an ejaculation, all that is necessary for the two goals above.

If you want to have real skills, want to be able to satisfy a partner physically, especially a female partner, it is going to take more work. And going back to the chart on Maslow's hierarchy of needs I posted to a thread earlier this week, achieving the self-actualization for both you and your partner takes a lot more than stamina and a large genital appendage.

Learning to slow down, forgetting about trying to see how many pops you can get in an hour and concentrating on enjoying your partner, exploring each other's bodies, desires, and minds will put you on the path to true satisfaction.

It is interesting to see the breadth of hobbyist and providers here. Some guys have one single minded goal in mind, ejaculation. Others are looking for that illusive illusion of passion. Some hobbyist may play between the two spectrums. These guys must drive the ladies nuts since they never know which personality might show up at their door and what to expect. (I have encountered more cyber bi-polar guys here than I ever thought existed.)

Some ladies have targetted the former, others the latter market. Some ladies try to be all to all. They probably fail at both. Niche marketing is your best bet. When I see ladies responding to every ISO from all ends of the spectrum, I wonder if they started as Sybil, the multi-personality provider, or if this career choice turned them into a multiple personality. Choose the quickie route, see many guys, and hope you avoid burnout, or choose longer appointments with deeper involvement at higher rates but less frequent encounters.

Playing with a variety of ladies can help the hobbyist determine where in the spectrum he enjoys the best. Perhaps that is the best lesson that can be taught. I think the ladies who cater to what I might refer to as the upper end of the spectrum as opposed to the quickie end, these ladies have learned a lesson.

[JohnnyYanks]

Quote: When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Beam her up, Scottie?

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by tigercat

Porn is probably the worst teacher of how to be a "lover" with someone you care about. And your basic BP provider, quickies, Blow and Go, etc. are not much better typically.

I say typically, because mastering the art of a quickie is actually a good skill set. It is one tool in the erotic arsenal. But learning your sex partner, learning new tricks, and yes, as has been said, never stop learning, is important.

If all you have for goals is either making babies or excreting body fluids, then skills are not overly important. Most guys without medical issues can achieve an erection and an ejaculation, all that is necessary for the two goals above.

If you want to have real skills, want to be able to satisfy a partner physically, especially a female partner, it is going to take more work. And going back to the chart on Maslow's hierarchy of needs I posted to a thread earlier this week, achieving the self-actualization for both you and your partner takes a lot more than stamina and a large genital appendage.

Learning to slow down, forgetting about trying to see how many pops you can get in an hour and concentrating on enjoying your partner, exploring each other's bodies, desires, and minds will put you on the path to true satisfaction.

It is interesting to see the breadth of hobbyist and providers here. Some guys have one single minded goal in mind, ejaculation. Others are looking for that illusive illusion of passion. Some hobbyist may play between the two spectrums. These guys must drive the ladies nuts since they never know which personality might show up at their door and what to expect. (I have encountered more cyber bi-polar guys here than I ever thought existed.)

Some ladies have targetted the former, others the latter market. Some ladies try to be all to all. They probably fail at both. Niche marketing is your best bet. When I see ladies responding to every ISO from all ends of the spectrum, I wonder if they started as Sybil, the multi-personality provider, or if this career choice turned them into a multiple personality. Choose the quickie route, see many guys, and hope you avoid burnout, or choose longer appointments with deeper involvement at higher rates but less frequent encounters.

Playing with a variety of ladies can help the hobbyist determine where in the spectrum he enjoys the best. Perhaps that is the best lesson that can be taught. I think the ladies who cater to what I might refer to as the upper end of the spectrum as opposed to the quickie end, these ladies have learned a lesson.

You take my breath away!