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02-07-2010, 11:10 PM
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#1
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 152
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Personnal Grooming 101
Okay.....it's late, but....I cannot f*ing sleep. Instead I am going to post something that I recently discussed with a sexy provider. Not sure if we discussed this in jest, but she seemed pretty serious.
Lets take a moment...this is for all of you gents out there....to discuss the necessity of washing for the ladies.
I have received a few compliments from time to time over my hygiene, but most recently the cleanliness of my under-carriage. She proclaimed over more than one session the loveliness of said carriage, and said I should post my technique. So, here I am posting that vary technique. I would be good if you put the song 'Dick in a Box' on while reading this:
1) Step one....never wash more than 2.5 hours prior to meeting time. If you start 2.5 hours before hand...then you are done 2 hours before hand. This is the maximum amount of time you want to allow yourself to start to lose the freshness scent. Lets be honest...we all sweat....deal with it by leaving a minimum window for sweat and funk to occur.
2) Step two...use a loofa...yes...a loofa...one of those cute little abrasive balls on a string that all women adore. GET ONE! It allows for a nice deep clean. Shit...have one for just this occasion alone.
3) Step three....hot water and soap! Hot water is a must...that is pretty easy, so lets talk about soap! Get something nice. I like to use a Milk and Honey body wash. Find something that smells nice, is a little metro sexual, and make sure it is not to overpowering.
4) Step four....SCRUB! SCRUB! SCRUB!....get down in there...all the way. If you cannot see it....SCRUB! it extra good. This should take at least 1-2 minutes....now...do it again. This area is going to get some attention....so make it pleasant to be around. Think about the number of times you may have written a review about hygiene...yeah...don't let it happen to you!
5) Step five....scent. Grab your favorite cologne, lotion, or spray, and let the carriage have just a bit. Don't go overboard, but give it a little dash of sweet smelling goodness. This will be prominent after the smell of body wash fades.
Note: This should increase attention to your area by up to 30% or more, and there is nothing better than being told you have the tastiest nuts in the world ;p
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02-07-2010, 11:57 PM
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#2
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The Mod In Black®
Join Date: Nov 22, 2009
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 36,497
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Geez!
Not another one!
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02-08-2010, 07:47 AM
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#3
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 755
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Plagiarism. Ralphey should file suit.
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02-08-2010, 11:16 AM
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#4
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 7, 2010
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 4,794
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh1k5P57ukY"]YouTube- Wash Your Ass![/ame]
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02-08-2010, 01:07 PM
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#5
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Hope I haven't bored you!
Join Date: Apr 30, 2009
Location:
Posts: 19,456
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I went and saw the movie "Book of Eli" last night....
In the future..... it seems a once over with a KFC Wet Nap and your in like flint!
Keep it moist enough to do the pits and the boys right?
So after a long rough day on the construction site..... Your on your way to that incall... Stop by a KFC and grab ya wing and a Wet Nap!
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02-08-2010, 02:39 PM
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#6
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: San Antonio and Elsewhere
Posts: 1,036
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Hmmm, sounds like my traditional technique of stuffing a nice bit 'o beef jerky down there at least an hour ahead of time may not be such a great approach afterall.
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02-08-2010, 02:51 PM
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#7
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 18, 2009
Location: 78704
Posts: 975
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And mow; a little manscaping with a clipper is also appreciated, and in a really nice way, too.
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02-08-2010, 07:34 PM
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#8
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 152
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The KFC wet nap is a good alternative....but if you just have no time.....chew some gum that can be found in your floor boards....spit in your hands....rub it on the down town bits....you will be minty fresh for at least 10-15minutes ;p
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02-08-2010, 11:22 PM
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#9
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 146
Join Date: Mar 28, 2009
Location: Austin, TX (but I travel)
Posts: 1,065
My ECCIE Reviews
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methodyx69 knows how to please the ladies. And we love him for it.
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02-08-2010, 11:32 PM
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#10
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 18, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 223
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Sophia, I just want to say that I like the quote (new?) on your Signature.
I'd really like to be behind you!
BTW, I LOVE the new pics!!!
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02-09-2010, 12:33 AM
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#11
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 146
Join Date: Mar 28, 2009
Location: Austin, TX (but I travel)
Posts: 1,065
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Klepton
Sophia, I just want to say that I like the quote (new?) on your Signature.
I'd really like to be behind you!
BTW, I LOVE the new pics!!!
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Why thank you!
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02-09-2010, 12:41 AM
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#12
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Account Disabled
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I second that Spohia! Nice job, I need your body!!
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02-09-2010, 06:35 PM
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#13
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Lifetime Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 8, 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 152
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Thanks for the props sophia....and it goes without saying...hot new pics ;p
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