My "quick" rant of what a reference means.....

[mzluvly]

Ok so alot of you gent's have the definition of a reference all the way twisted. If I haven't seen you since 2014 how the hell am I gonna remember you? Especially if I've only seen you ONCE MAYBE TWICE???
My point is REFERENCES are used for up to date encounters. I have no idea if you have turned into a complete pyscho since 2015 (trust me I've encountered some). If I have not seen you in less than a year your not concidered a regular!!

Thx safe hobbying

[Fancyinheels]

I've heard other ladies lamenting the same issue recently.

My name has actually been given out 4 times in the last month by a couple of gentlemen I haven't seen in nearly 2 years! I have a good mammary, er, memory, but that's asking a lot. I told the providers, yes, I had entertained the fellows and things were fine WAY BACK WHEN, but behavior, appearance, and circumstances change over time, so they should ask for more current corroboration.

I understand that some Hobbyists don't play much, perhaps only when they travel away from home territory, but at least give a lass a heads up reminder before dropping her name, and you have to be honest and confess it's ancient history, as I certainly will share that fact with the inquiring provider. When resurrecting the archaic past, be prepared to explain WHY you don't have a recent ref, too.

Most providers these days seem to vary between 3-6 months on verification following a visit, with only a few going up to a year. Recalling details so far out of date would be expecting something extraordinary. Gentlemen should be mindful of each companion's reference policy, and if you only have one viable vouch more than 6-12 months old and not much in the way of a presence on the board, either go back to see her or count on being screened like a newbie by someone else.

[Luvs2Purrr]

I think "MOST" providers will agree with you luv. If I have only seen someone once....I have a 3 months limit. So, when any ladies contact me for a reference, I will certainly let them know that I am unable to help them.

Both Ladies & Gent's are out for pure safety here.
If it's no longer safe....then it becomes no longer fun!


Good thing for the gent's to do is before contacting someone new, who wants references.....make contact with the provider first and make sure it is still ok to use her as a reference.

[allaboutthebbbj]

I had a couple girls I contacted start sending mesaages to the girls I have reviewed without me giving any reference at all. Had 2 providers contact me asking about it.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by allaboutthebbbj

I had a couple girls I contacted start sending mesaages to the girls I have reviewed without me giving any reference at all. Had 2 providers contact me asking about it.

If you inquired with them about scheduling a possible appointment in the near future, that isn't an unusual procedure. Some ladies are more proactive than others. If a gent confirms with me, then yes, I will contact the references he offers when screening, but occasionally I'll also PM someone else he's reviewed in the last 6-12 months just to be extra diligent.

Now, if you were only asking general questions or discussing something completely different, they may have jumped the gun communicating with providers you'd seen previously, but maybe they were just anxious to get you in their... arms, yeah.

[Guest020719]

Luvly, you don't remember that time at band camp...?

[GlobeSpotter]

whores keep spreadsheet diaries

but don't want to admit it

[bbkid]

Originally Posted by Mythos

Luvly, you don't remember that time at band camp...?

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

whores keep spreadsheet diaries

On our end, we call it "p411" .... speaking of P411 and references ...

Nothing annoys me more than when I give a client an okay on p411, and then some paranoid, substance abusing provider will message me, wanting me to verify my okay. Get the hell out of here wasting my fucking time.

[mzluvly]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

Nothing annoys me more than when I give a client an okay on p411, and then some paranoid, substance abusing provider will message me, wanting me to verify my okay. Get the hell out of here wasting my fucking time.

Omg YES!

[Luvs2Purrr]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

On our end, we call it "p411" .... speaking of P411 and references ...

Nothing annoys me more than when I give a client an okay on p411, and then some paranoid, substance abusing provider will message me, wanting me to verify my okay. Get the hell out of here wasting my fucking time.

Originally Posted by mzluvly

Omg YES!

+1000

[London-James]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

On our end, we call it "p411" .... speaking of P411 and references ...

Nothing annoys me more than when I give a client an okay on p411, and then some paranoid, substance abusing provider will message me, wanting me to verify my okay. Get the hell out of here wasting my fucking time.

While I completely understand your frustration with another provider messaging you to verify the "okay" I can also understand why they do - even I do. When I entered this realm, it was right when P411 was having issues with law enforcement (specifically in Tennessee and Louisiana). Then there have been times when providers have given "okays" to clients to get on P411 OR have been paid to give "okays". My favorite however, is when you receive an email from another provider stating to be diligent because a client had been sharing a P411 account with another client. That account was shut down.

In summation, what I am saying is while P411 is fabulous, it is not the end all be all for those of us who are not paranoid and/or substance abusing... we're just hyper vigilant. I'm sorry if that vigilance is annoying.

[Brooke Wilde]

I'm not sure how verifying the okay helps in the 1st 2 reasons.

I'd assume an account that was compromised by LE would be disabled and if the provider in question had not committed any violation, would be issued another account or if she was found to be in violation, she'd be banned, either way the compromised account would have been removed so you'd never even know about it.

As for just giving an okay or being paid for the okay, I highly doubt when contacting the provider about her "okay" she would disclose, "I've never seen him, I only gave him the okay for this reason _________"

And the 3rd, I guess that can happen, but if that was the case you wouldn't have been contacting a provider about her okay, since there was no longer a P411 profile for this client ... so in this case, that sounds more like a reference check and not verifying an okay.

I have no issue with providers asking me for references, I verify them all the time, but no way in hell do I want to get an "is this guy okay to see" message when I just gave the guy an okay last week.

Originally Posted by London-James

it was right when P411 was having issues with law enforcement

Then there have been times when providers have given "okays" to clients to get on P411 OR have been paid to give "okays".

My favorite however, is when you receive an email from another provider stating to be diligent because a client had been sharing a P411 account with another client. That account was shut down.

[GlobeSpotter]

most whores i send 411 info to don't even check my account

even on occasions i contacted them through a hobby number or email not in any way connected to this moniker.

[Fancyinheels]

I'll remember, when I'm on P411, not to pester Brooke, L2P, and mzluvly, as I don't want then to think I've been guzzling Jameson again!

I will contact a provider on P411 not to "okay her Okay," but to ask her, "Is there anything special I should know?" This gives the lady the opportunity to tell me, "None of your business," "Nope," "Ask him," or, "He swings from chandeliers."

For instance, let's say a gentleman indicates that his interests are kink, chasing skinny young girls, BDSM, and reenacting porn movies. Why is he contacting a mature vanilla GFE BBW like me, then? (And yes, I usually ask the gent that, too.) Well, some fellows embrace variety and want to try new experiences, don't enjoy all of their "hobbies" at every session, but I like to be prepared for surprises outside of my comfort zone.