Menace to Society

[Guest031811]

Tonight I was sitting in one of my classes when I was bombarded by a reality check. People really think that I am an awful person because of how I choose to make a living.
We were doing a case study on the “Green River Killer”. The killings were before my time, but apparently Gary Ridgway was a religious fanatic who had issues with sex workers. As we learned about the case, the professor stopped at intervals and asked the class questions about what we “thought” were the reasons for his actions.
The professor asked the class why the killer targeted prostitutes. The answers basically boiled down to:
“Prostitutes are the scum of the earth and deserve to be killed.”
“They aren’t very smart women, which makes them easy targets.”
“They don’t have families and friends. If a hooker goes missing, no one notices.”
“Hookers have low self esteem, and are easily manipulated.”
“All hookers do drugs, so I doubt that they would be able to fight back.”

GULP! Oh my god! As my peers made these assumptions, my professor nodded and laughed along with the rest of the class. This professor is supposed to be this phenomenal FBI agent with credentials a mile long. I was BLOWN away by all of the marginalized assumptions made by my peers. But, I was even more astonished by this professor who said nothing to correct all of their false statements.

My blood was boiling on the drive home. My gears in my brain started grinding. I began asking a million questions, and none of which I can seem to answer.
Why does society fear and hate women who have sex for money?
Where do all the misconceptions about escorting come from?
Why is it worse for a woman to receive pay for sex than it is for a man to pay for it?
How come my friends from school can go to the club several nights a week and bring home different men and not be condemned for “having a good time”?
I wonder why people have such deeply rooted feelings of disgust towards my profession, yet they cannot provide a logical and rational explanation for their feelings.

Can someone, ANYONE, please give me a cut and dry explanation of why I am such a menace to society?

[HOOK'EM]

Brittany,

You are a Intelligent and Beautifully refreshing young woman. I'm 59 years old and I've heard these sterotypical responces for many years. To me, they represent fear and ignorance. I think their thoughts equate to sexual racism.
Don't over think it! Enjoy every day of your life. Just my 2 cents. HOOK'EM

[Guest031811]

hook'em-

Thanks for the encouragement. I agree that these comments stem from fear and ignorance. But, dear god! These kids are my peers! I might have to work for them someday!

Not only that, but they are all wanting jobs involved with politics, law, and medicine! What good is a psychologist if s/he thinks that all sex workers are "stupid and dirty"?

Part of me wanted to correct them...but then I realized that if I contested anything that they said, I would implicate myself. So, I sat there and shook my head.

[Skyber]

As it works out for most of the world, a small minority of people have huge influence on the masses. Most of it stems from their religions and how society tells us the world should operate. If something doesnt fit into how they think the world should be, they fear it or consider it wrong. There have been many instances of minority groups dictating the rules and "facts" of this world in history. Im sure everyone knows a few.

But yeah most people are so closed minded they cant think for themselves and blindly follow what is considered "traditional" or "proper".

You though brittany just by the few posts i have read and how u carry yourself on the forums; i can tell u have a good head on your shoulders. Dont let anyone else tell u otherwise.

Anyways dont wanna make this too drawn out. Dont let your peers worry u too much, its how the world is, its been that way for a while and doesnt seem like it will ever change. But who knows right? Things could change.

[Guest012514]

Brittany,
I would'nt let it bother you. No other business has been around longer than the sex business. In the distant past it was widely accepted and thought to be very necessary. In these modern times unfortunately, Society has deemed it unnecessary and even wrong. This is ultimately from lack of understanding, fear, and insecurity. As for your peers, i would be even less concerned about there opinions at this point in life. Just as you stated most of them have at one time or another most likely experimented with drugs, had a one night stand or worse. But by condemning something that they don't understand or are to afraid to participate in they make themselves feel better about there own actions.
The Plain fact is you do a job that you enjoy and are exceptionally good at doing. That is much more than most people can say!!!!!!!

[sixxbach]

I would not let it bother me. If anyone in my civie life knew I was a "john" it would override all the good "positive" things I do. That really goes for all of us.

sixx

[sanantonioman37]

I think it comes down to marginalizing people. If you reduce them to a number/stat/stereo type then no one has to care whether or not they were killed. To put it bluntly, no one has to care, because you are no longer talking about a person but about a thing or a lifestyle choice. A lifestyle choice that most people are taught to look down on or to think of them as a non-person by people with authority. Anything people find to be socially/culturally/morally not fitting in with their concept of a normal person. Therefore we have so called upstanding citizens and pillars of the community unable to see things as they really are........human tragedy (the taking of a life, any life). So instead of concern or sorrow, they find fault in a person unable to defend themselves from such criticism to justify their lack of concern. Their so called Judeo-Christian values, the same values that allow them to protest any taking of life unless it is someone who made poor life choices in their opinion. In which case they will not shed a tear but simple comment on how they must have had low self-esteem, drug problem, stupid, degenerate, and anything else they can come up with keep their conscious unburden by the tragedy. The worst thing about it, is that its very easy to become that apathetic and sanctimonious about something like that.

My apologies for being long winded.

[H8edByOne]

Brittany,

I see some blaming Judeo-Christians for the social view of prostitutions thereby also feeding into the ignorance of it all. Looking back through history, it is true that it is the oldest profession and it is a fact that it was an acceptable practice in the ancient world. Also prostitution has been condemned by many groups through history, the least of which are the Jews and the Christians.

The stigma and stereotypes that surrounds this practice are based on obscene and often exploited dredge of society by the media. With shows like taxi-cab confessions and reality shows that exploit adult entertainers by exposing there drug additions add TV shows that never have a smart well balanced beautiful escort that is respected for the service they provide - it is no wonder the current society see the profession as described by Brittany through her class – prostitutes are scum of the earth, illiterate, low self-esteem that are hooked on drugs.

I am glad that this is not the reality of it all…

[AlexVanW]

Sex, Religion, Politics, Race, Color Skin, West, East, North, South, almost in all we suffer for something, so, if someone say "The Time Give You The Reason", i must say "BS!!!"

[ski-hog]

Oh boy, I would of given anything to be sitting in that class room during that debate. These discussions were my favorite thing about college. This is when all the little do gooders on the front row would of turned around and given me a jaw dropping look. Once the professor agreed with my realist, logical answer then they would all agree with me. It was hillarious how it worked everytime. Sorry Brittany, just study hard and kick all their asses.

[Rakhir]

Actually Brittany a question you should ask when people are making statements such as those is "Where is your empirical evidence to support your position?" Rather than counter someones statement in situations like this ask questions of how they arrived at the decision they did and to support it will real evidence not anecdotal stories. By doing so you will lead them to question their own position more critically and more often than not change their opinions. And, more importantly, this method allows them to come to the conclusion on their own which is much more successful than you trying to change their opinion through confrontation. Being confrontational in that setting only serves to make people more adamant about their beliefs.

In fact, you should challenge your professor in the same way. (Just so you know I hold two bachelors degrees, two masters and am working on a PHD) Don't ever sit in class and allow a professor to make a statement you know is incorrect and not challenge his evidence. Very rarely will you ever get a professor to be upset over this as usually this is the response they are trying to provoke. If they are really teaching they are doing so in a way to give you the tools to critically think and develop your own answers and theorems.

However, should one get upset and take you to task about how dare you question them, and this will happen to on occasion, you might remind them they derive their salary from this thing called tuition and that since you pay tuition they in essence work for you, not the other way around. I have done this with great success as it really takes nothing more than a brief mention of your next stop after class being with their department head for a discussion of their behavior and tactics. In my college career this has only happened twice and in the end I received written apologies as their jobs were on the line not my grade!

But back to your dilemma. Don't ever be afraid to challenge positions and opinions. If this topic is so sensitive use another analogy to make your point. Who would miss a hoodlum teenager? A homeless person? How about a white collar worker who embezzles from seniors retirement? Is there any difference in the degree of person or their actions or is it just basically that the person who has been killed still a person in their own right regardless of their actions elsewhere. Use Occam's Razor whenever possible. Reduce the question to it simplest form so the underlying principle can be analyzed at its essence not in terms of a knee jerk reaction. Then you will have made your point and carried others along with you.

I sincerely hope this helps you and please do feel free to pm me anytime should you wish to carry this discussion further and/or on any other topics of concern. I am always happy to help others who take the advancement of their education seriously. I would not be where I am at today had others not taken the time to mentor me when I needed it. That is the beauty of working with peers who will take the time to guide. And if you don't feel comfortable with me then find someone you are comfortable with. There are many here who I know have the backgrounds to mentor and are more than willing to do so.

Stay strong and don't let anyone sway you in your quest!

[69bobby69]

Great thread and many great responses here. As an adjunct professor, I have had the opportunity to moderate some discussions in the classroom that could create an unpleasant feeling for some students. I believe the teacher/professor should not mold/create thought, but rather foster a learning environment where each student decides for themselves their personal position based upon their past and present in conjunction with the educational aspects associated with the particular class. Too many professor feel the need to impose their values upon their students as a means of their own legacy.

Now, with regard to the profession/lifestyle, I agree with the fear and ignorance statement. The media contributes to the point of blowing out of proportion the real life struggles that we all go through. When is a provider illuminated in a positive light in the media? In addition, when puritan attitudes by those who suffer from fear and ignorance combined with a lack of desire to carry out the relational vows finally understand that they are THE problem, the world's oldest profession will decline. However, relationships by nature create an increasing level of laziness and selfishness and lead to a state of hunger for intimacy and sexual needs by one or more of the parties in the typical relationship. Many cartoons and jokes talk about the passion and desire of those in a dating relationship that ultimately gets soured with the ring goes on the finger. It should be that marriage makes the two work harder for each other, but the opposite is typically true.

So, for those who look outside of the marriage, the wonderful and lovely providers bring a sense of completeness and happiness to an otherwise miserable and sad life. It makes total sense. Outside of the marriage relationship, there are countless other situations that bring the hobbyist to the provider (such as physical difficulties just an example). Once again, a valuable offering is provided to make one whole. This screwed up cycle has existed since the beginning of time and will continue as long as there is selfishness in relationships.

I'm with Alex, every group is persecuted. Some more than others. Collect your thoughts, defend the lifestyle, and be ready to debate. Guilty or not, I defend the lifestyle to any and all that suffer from ignorance and fear.

[luv2daty]

Brittany,

I wouldn't be surprised if your peers and/or professor are adding bricks to the very same wall they are trying to tear down by contributing to the sex industry (e.g. renting/buying porn, frequenting SCs, or seeing a provider). Most people have a perception of pro/pimp, sex cheapened, girl on drugs etc. Its a billion dollar + industry; many people are contributing but won't admit it

[Guest080312-1]

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

People really think that I am an awful person because of how I choose to make a living...Can someone, ANYONE, please give me a cut and dry explanation of why I am such a menace to society?

I disagree with your conclusion. Not having attended the class, my impression is that your classmates equate "prostitutes" with "streetwalkers" (e.g., They do drugs. If they go missing, nobody notices.) You, on the other hand, are an escort or courtesan.

Your classmates are not alone in these views. I've been told that there are escorts and courtesans on this website who will "blacklist" the guys who write (or even encourage) reviews of their own encounters with "filthy, nasty" SWs.

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

...As my peers made these assumptions, my professor nodded and laughed along with the rest of the class. This professor is supposed to be this phenomenal FBI agent with credentials a mile long. I was BLOWN away by all of the marginalized assumptions made by my peers. But, I was even more astonished by this professor who said nothing to correct all of their false statements...

Again, I didn't attend, but I suspect this class is something along the lines of, "Inside the Criminal Mind" -- not, "Correcting Societal Misperceptions about Sex Workers." So, give the prof a break if he was more focused on the serial killer's motives, and not on your classmates' prejudices. And keep in mind that his job was to collect evidence, make arrests, and obtain confessions -- not broaden the views of our citizenry.

You would, however, have had good reason to be disappointed in your prof, had he failed to mention that Ridgway's mother was domineering; involved in more than one violent argument with his father; and prone to humiliating Ridgway for his bedwetting habit. After such accidents, she used to bathe Ridgway immediately -- usually while she herself was wearing a bath robe that would sometimes open. This continued even into Ridgway's early teen years. The result was a mix of rage and sexual attraction toward his mother, and disgust with himself for feeling the latter.

Ridgway's religious fanaticism was a symptom of mental illness, not strength of spiritual convictions.

Ridgway, I'm sure, hated women in general -- he once choked one of his wives, albeit not fatally. He targeted not only prostitutes, but also runaways, -- vice other categories of women -- because they were vulnerable, and therefore convenient as outlets for the rage he felt against his own mother.

P.S. --

Just had a thought after posting this: Why are prostitutes vulnerable to psychos like Ridgway? In large part, because law enforcement, and the communities that they are sworn to protect, hold views like those expressed by your classmates.

I dare you to make this point to the class. If you do, and can provide proof of having done so, I'll defray the cost of your textbooks for next semester (up to $500 limit); I will need receipts.

[Guest031811]

Wow! I leave this thread alone for a day and it blows up! Thanks so much for all of your constructive responses. I feel so much better about this topic.

Skyber: I totally agree with you, but I have a major question. Follow my thoughts: Men like sex. Escorts provide sex. Most powerful positions are held by men. In history, men have been responsible for making rules and regulations, including those of religion. Why do religious people (especially men) oppose prostitution and dub prostitutes as being the scum of the earth?


Xed: I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. But like you said, I was sitting in a room full of hypocrites. I said nothing because I knew that anything that would have come out of my mouth would have been out of order and inappropriate. I was full of anger, and the only way for me to not get kicked out of class was to sit there and chew on my tongue. I know I’m great at my job… and frankly, I love it. There is nothing dirty or wrong about it. I just hate being made to feel that way.


Six: Its weird. The men can’t admit to being involved with us… and we women CERTAINLY can’t admit to actually BEING who we are. I’m tempted to stop holding my tongue when people rag on providers. I think a simple, “hey, they’re people too” should redirect a conversation about how nasty hookers are. Its simple and sweet. AND it’s a great way to keep from implicating myself. (maybe we all can give it a try)

SATman: I agree. Its so easy to judge others. I just wish that they would judge me with the proper information. I was also thinking about how shallow my classmates are. “They don’t have families or friends…”. Even if someone doesn’t have a family or a support group, that makes them a bad person? WTF?

H8ted: I contested skyber for the religious assumption only because there are some holes in it. I think organized religion is a crock of sh*t… used only to control people. Believe me, I’d love to blame everything on religion. But, I don’t get why religious authorities have such an issue with prostitution. The only thing I can conjure up is that as a prostitute, a woman is more like a man. She can have multiple partners. She has the power in deciding who she chooses to see. She can make a good living. When you say that the media is responsible for the hatred of prostitutes, keep in mind that before TV, radio, and the internet that people have turned their noses up to prostitutes. I do believe that it was the 16th/17th century when prostitutes were frowned upon.

Alex: LOL! Good freaking point! Everyone hates someone!

Ski: I go to one of the most conservative schools in SA. (I know, I know… its my own freaking fault). I thought college was about liberating the mind. Nope. At my school, everyone’s parents make AT LEAST 6 figures a year. These kids have NO CLUE about the real world or wanting for anything. I really think that these kids still wouldn’t have gotten it.

Rakhir: I LOOOOVE this response! “How do YOU know that hookers do drugs and don’t have families? Who told you that?” How intelligent! I plan on using it. Its non-confrontational. Its non-revealing, but at the same time, highly effective. PERFECT!

Bobby: I always love your responses. This lady had a very inaccurate view of prostitutes, but also a very skewed view on women in general. I think that this professor has some insecurity about females. She kept saying “FBI this and DoD that”. She kept reiterating her credentials.

Luv: I KNOW! Everyone loves sex. At some point, we BUY into it; even if it’s birth control, lingerie, or the perfume with the naked woman on the front. Its crazy how we put our heads in the sand!

Gary: If I tell her that prostitutes are vulnerable to psychos because the police fail to protect them, I’m afraid that the professor will tell me that people who break the law do not deserve protection.