FETISH friendly????

[trailblazer3722]

Providers online ad will often post the buzzword "Fetish Friendly". The word "Fetish" encompasses many things! I am not sure that most providers understand what this word actually mean...especially for the providers of color or and some of the younger providers in the early 20s.

I am also aware that many sites will not let providers STATE the types of fetishes they offer. However, when I think of fetishes I think of BDSM! I like BDSM.

To my personal research and dealings with many providers, most tend to believe that the word "Fetish" ONLY means greek or regular anal sex. Greek is vanilla, to me.
I believe the word "Fetishes" consist of anything out the ordinary like fisting, showers, sounds, fire play , ect...

My question is: why dont some providers state Fetishes as it relate to BDSM?? or just leave the word "fetish friendly" completely out of their ads all together because its confusing to the hobbyist! Something more appropriate might be the words "BDSM fetishes"?

I had to walk out of so many appointments in the past because providers stated that they were "Fetish Friendly" but when I arrived at the appointment they did not have any toys, contraptions, restraints, gloves, or did not provide other things I desired. Their ads were very vague and these providers did not want to discuss anything over the phone.
So needless to say I turned around and went back home when the provider could not provide what I desired. The only thing I lost was a little bit of gas money.

[london2012]

It's a marketing term, much like they like to use open-minded, GFE, etc; they may or may not deliver their service.

Other terms are no rush, not a clockwatcher, no agency, etc.

[Torito]

While I am not into the fetish thing, I understand your comments completely. Not only in the hobby, but throughout our society people bastardize words until they become slang, without any true meaning remaining. Then those same folks will give a blank stare, or argue when presented with the dictionary definition (if there is one).

Torito

[timothe]

Your point is spot on, Trailblazer!! The girls do it to get more business knowing that they don't/can't provide most fetish services. Simple answer...don't see those girls.

Instead, search forums like these to find providers that cater to your fetish and be willing to travel. Dallas doesn't have many good BDSM providers that also provide different forms of release, but there are quite a few in Austin and Houston.

Good luck in your search.

[YourGirl]

"Fetish" can mean a lot of different things.

I bet my parents consider it a fetish to do it with the lights on.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Also, there are a lot of ladies (I almost hate to admit this, though!) that will offer spanking, fetishes, BDSM and God knows what else because they think that it will be easy money.

They don't realize that to be alternative in your sexuality, ESPECIALLY when it comes to BDSM, takes skill and desire and just so much more.

The "kitten with a whip" types cause more hassles for women like me who study, walk the walk or however you wish to put it.

There are younger women who specialize in fetish work. And they're in Dallas. But if you're looking for a younger woman who rocks latex and spandex who knows what she's doing, you're going to really have to do some good research.

Because the Dommes around generally don't mix in a happy ending or raw sexuality in their appointments. Young ladies who are trying to get an extra buck (like the ones that you've walked out on) don't have a frigging clue what they're doing (been there) and it's frustrating for us who are in between and break ALL of the rules because we like it all (in accordance to who we're with) ... because others have messed up the often experienced purity of messing around in another realm.

But they're out there. Daria and Renee both advertise on backpage and they're both HOT. But it's completely BDSM, including a dungeon in their offerings.

When I have "regular" clients walk in they need to be somewhat brave in my house because Lord only knows what you'll see. But for now, I'm not what you're looking for and I don't have other suggestions.

The ladies that I know, other than the few that post in Another Realm, are older women.

That's the only cheap advice that I have for you. I feel your frustration because I see it from this end. Clients getting hurt from ladies saying they know how to flog and then ... they don't know crap. So many stories that I could fill a book.

Good luck with your quest.

I've heard that Fort Worth has an elegant underground BDSM community full of the beautiful people and some of those include ladies for hire. THAT would be the best place to possibly fulfill your baser desires.

But I know nothing further than that.

Always,
Elisabeth

P.S. If anyone is reading this who has suggestions for learning fireplay, please let me know. There are classes at The Sanctuary that I just haven't made it to. I have a few books. Otherwise, it's an intriguing activity. Seeing it, especially at night, is riveting.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Torito

While I am not into the fetish thing, I understand your comments completely. Not only in the hobby, but throughout our society people bastardize words until they become slang, without any true meaning remaining. Then those same folks will give a blank stare, or argue when presented with the dictionary definition (if there is one).

Torito

So very true. It's one of the reasons why you'll never see on my website or in an ad using the word "courtesan" although I probably fit the definition more than most.

But the term has become so very bastardized since I've been around that it's basically says or tells nothing of the person.

Just another example.

EW

[DallasRain]

Fetish can encompass such a large realm...fetish lately seems to be in "the eye of the beholder".......one gal may think greek is fetish,while another thinks bbjcim is fetish

to me fetish is in the attitude!!!And the wanting to think outside the {vanilla} box!

Ms E is very knowledgable in fetish,so listen to her words

[Ms. Athena]

Fetish like Kink is a personal journey.......Everyone has their own limits and fantasies that both need to be pushed and fulfilled...........Being open minded to exploring ones own sexuality to me is the first step........I enjoy learning and trying new experiences, so Im always open to hearing what your personal fetish/kink maybe and seeing if we can not make it cum true..........Yum Yum!!!

[The Motley Fool]

Yeah TB,

Definitely beware of women with "Fetish Friendly" because most of them...too be honest aren't. Do lots of research, be selective, and communication before hand is good. I'm always looking for fetish providers, and I make it very clear in my p411 bio, in great detail of what I'm looking for... so I haven't had any problems.

If I may, check out my review, Lei lover could be perfect for you... and hang out in another realm...I'm sure quite a few of those lovely ladies can help you out.

MF

[KittyLamour]

Elisabeth you are so right on the money. "Fetish Friendly" has indeed become a generic term these inexperienced providers are using to just try and get an extra buck. True BDSM is not something you just walk into with no real knowledge and think you can fake it till you make it. I am totally into B&D, Both as a Domme and as a Sub. I enjoy exploring both extremes of my personality and find it very enjoyable, therapeutic, and fulfilling. I am not into S&M. I do not enjoy pain, either giving or receiving. When I first explored my interest into the world of fetish...I realized that it was vast with a whole host of subcultures involved. I started researching and talking to people with more experience than I...watching videos... when I finally decided I was ready to provide fetish in my services...before doing so, I observed and "trained" with a true dominatrix for a few weeks who taught me the things you just can't learn from a book. It is a continual learning experience, but when you truly enjoy a subject you naturally want to learn all you can.
Thank you Elisabeth for your sage knowledge and thank you Trailblazer for bringing up this subject. I've noticed this also and although as a provider it didn't really affect me personally, it did get on my nerves to see the word "fetish" misused so readily and so often.

[Goddessmaria]

There are so many fetishes out there.
Alot of men, consider certain things to be a fetish that some of use more diverse in the alternative realm do not.
A good provider: whether providing Bdsm, Fetishes, Fantasy/Roleplay or Vanilla, Will ask ahead for a description of your desires.
This let's us prepare ahead in order to create a one of a kind memory for you.

[BBW Katrina]

I turn away 99% of fetish requests. I dont feel comfortable or confident in doing them. Men will continue to ask for services but Im quick to decline Unless it is very, very mild. I will not provide a bad service for a quick buck. Not fair to the client and not fun for me. Jessica Tearwell is a very experienced Fetish Provider. I have sat in/participated on several Sessions with her. Mindblowing at times. It takes a special person to do that as well as knowledgeable in that realm. Not for me but big ups for the ones who can.

[MaxiMilyen]

As stated....fetish encompasses a mass range of likes. It is not a term exclusive to BDSM. I've been involved with foot fetish's is the past, as well as, stocking, pantyhose, thong, shoes, smoking cigs, red lipstick... etc.

According to wikapedia: Sexual Fetish is a sexual attraction to objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.

IMO, Greek is NOT a fetish...it's just another warm (worm) hole. For men in the hobby......a**holes are viewed as sexual in nature...LOL (I crack myself up), therefore, not a fetish.

[txcwby6]

For some, a "fetish session" mean the Provider will slip a finger up his ass. While, for some fetish-seeking Hobbyists, they're looking for her entire fist. Different strokes for...