Popular Misconceptions About Providers

[mikkifine]

Last night I went to bed early. It was about 7pm for those of you who are curious. I needed to get up at 1 AM so that I could work on a research paper.
I am also trying to condition myself for my evening shift for webcam work. This week I will be online from 2Am to 8 AM.
This morning I received an appointment request. I answered it promptly and the sender sent me back this email message. “Don’t you ever sleep?”
One of the popular misconceptions about providers is that all of us are up all night partying. Even when I was younger I was never much of a night owl. Yes, I did my share of going out and staying up late but it was never a big part of my life.
Providers please share your popular misconceptions about being a provider. Gentlemen what kind of lifestyle do you believe the ladies lead? Do you think we are all party animals or that some of us lead normal lives when we are not providing?

[jaydalee]

I had a gent make that comment to me as well about never sleeping.He forgot to factor in the time difference between where I am located and where he was at.
Some gents think that providers are available 24/7 with make-up and hair done hardly sleep or sleep in late.I have had a gent more than once comment when I returned an email early in the morning that I must have not been to bed yet.In all actuality I had just gotten up so I do think there are some that have these misconceptions that providers hang out all night and sleep all day.Which is far from the truth for me I might stay up late at times but most of the time I am still up pretty early.

[Naomi4u]

I live a very normal/quiet life. Anyone that knows me knows that about me. As for partying it up, ha! I wish. Maybe 4 years ago but not now. There are days I do have trouble sleeping. I think it's due to traveling. I'm so used to being on the go. However, just because I'm up now doesn't mean I'm up posting ads or answering emails. I'm actually watching Law and Order and eating cookies and icecream lol. This is my ME time. I don't operate 24 hours. I doubt all guys think we're up and ready to go all the time.

[Shayla]

It's probably about 50/50 when it comes to providers who lead pretty square lives outside of the hobby and those who are "partiers". I know providers that give give us a good reputation and one's that definitely don't.

[Guest041413-2]

Misconceptions from a hobbyist (over the years of experience, not necessarily now):
1. Waiting at the Incall for MY phone call (although some live at their incall, most if not many have or share an Incall location separate from residence)-Yes, I now know that providers have a "life" and this is part of a bigger "plan" for them
2. Providers enjoy every session and love sex (while they may enjoy some sessions more than others and even love sex, not all sessions are with the "guy" of their dream-some actually behaved like they hate it, hate it all-could've been pimp related-I've learned)
3. FF/Bi-sexuality is a Fetish (FF/bi-sexuality is more a norm than a fetish/and it's still HOTTT)
4. Providers don't judge clients (I've heard and seen some rudeness from fems talking about other clients, or in convo realizing they judge certain types of their clients-it's really skewed many providers view of life/men, etc.)
5. Providers are human too (Providers need time of the month off, time to sleep, break & breather time, time away from me, LOL-really thought providers were robots, LOL)
6. Providers are kinky (not all are. Hence, the beloved "Another Realm" section. Yesss! Some don't even like to be touched, kissed, etc.-GFE is enough, PSE is even betta!)

[mikkifine]

It is now 5:30 AM. I just got back from being outside and freezing my ass off. Why was I outside? My 3 dogs needed to go the restroom. LOL!

Nope, I am not just getting in from a party. LOL!

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by jaydalee

Some gents think that providers are available 24/7

Interesting you should say this because there are more than a few ladies that put this down as their availability on their P411 ad.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Interesting you should say this because there are more than a few ladies that put this down as their availability on their P411 ad.

True. I remember last year there was an alert in the Austin forum about a lady that pulled an NCNS. The gentleman called her at 3am and she agreed to meet him. When he got to her place, she didn't answer the phone. Her excuse was "Well I fell asleep, I have to sleep don't I?" and the guy says "Well then don't put you're available 24/7 on your ad". I agree. I don't understand ladies that put 24/7 on their ads. There is no way you can be up for that long and be able to take appointments around the clock unless of course you are under the influence and that is just unnecessary.

[Chislaine]

I’ve been asked before (by text) "what time do you close”. Like I’m running a freakin pussy store.

[mikkifine]

charlestudor2005-Those ladies who list available 24/7 should of listed flexible scheduling instead.

They probably thought they would be okay with napping with the phone close by. I have tried napping with the phone close by and it did not work for me.

When I need to rest, I close my bedroom door, turn off the lights and the phone. I am much more productive if I am well rested.

[Outdoorsman]

Every provider I have known that explains why she provides, tells that "She enjoys it" Yes, the ladies enjoy some limited sessions but really it is work for them. I have learned that the providers I have befriended cosely do not enjoy seeing 10 different men in a given week. They enjoy the cash! There is a level of shame when we engage in this Hobby, both for men and women, that simple. We make up BS excuses to help console ourselves, but it is all lies to ourself. "MY SO does not do CIM, so I hobby." or "How else do I pay my bills?" or "I like beautiful women, so why not?" or "God would not have given me this body if I were not to make money with it."

All BS we tell ourselves, me included. But this is a selfish hobby, I want great sex, that civilian ladies just will not do consistently. She wants a BMW and not a Tercel. Very selfish.

Providers are human, but must act when with us, she has no idea which one of us will write a review. I am not special to her at all.

Most providers I know have children, do the school thing, but have very few real friends. Even amongst the ladies they must always be on guard. Ladies will sabotage each other for my money. Men lie to them about everything!!! So, a provider in my expereince with some time in the job is very cautious when I just do something nice, wondering what I want out of her? Nothing, I do nice things for others with no expectations, that simple. Then providers tend to think they can take advantage of me, lol. Always trying to get more for less, just like any other salesman. No balance IMHO.

My experience tells me Providing is a very lonely business, and when a guy helps she tends to think he is doornmat or sucker. Which to me indicates low self esteem on the providers part (why does this guy want to help me? He only likes my looks, not my brain or soul. I am not smart enough to get a good paying job, etc). Makes sense to me, she has a job she cannot talk about openly, usually hides from her mother and kids, and she meets with some really gross men that turn her off completely.

Me I do not know if I could have sex with 65 year old 250 pound women on a consistent basis and make it fun for her. It is a real job, my hats off to you ladies.

[Fancyinheels]

Myths: Providers are young, have model-like figures, and will do anything for a buck.

Facts: Providers come (boy, do they!) in all ages and body types. (I'm definitely an example of that.) We have boundaries and rules, and please don't expect us to break them "just for you." (If I have to protest to one more guy, "I'm an Irish girl, not a Greek one," I may just kick his myth with my fact!)

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Most providers I know have children, do the school thing, but have very few real friends. Even amongst the ladies they must always be on guard. Ladies will sabotage each other for my money. Men lie to them about everything!!!
...

Not having a bunch of real friends is very true. Once you leave the real world behind, even if you had friends before, they start to fall off because you just cannot be open with them about your business. It's too risky.

(For the record, I've tried being forthright and it resulted in a loss of a very close friendship)

We can all cry that's not fair but it just is what it is.

Although I can sincerely say that I won't sabotage women for money, a bunch of women have done it to me. Sometimes, I think that they do it without even realizing it. Most, though, do. It's a hard business.

Men, though, WILL lie to us and it's probably been one of the hardest things to accept. I don't like to lie and well, I just wonder why in the world would a man find a need to lie to us??? (Idiot question, I know!)

Misconceptions include:

1. Men think that escorts are consummate liars and many of us are not. I have a short memory, I won't lie because I won't be able to remember it.

2. We're always faking it. No, we're not. I love sex and I adore men. Sometimes, it's not the 4th of July. Often, it is. 'Nuff said.

3. We're cold and hard. Most of us are rather sensitive and easily bruised.

4. In it just for the money. Although there is some truth to this, I've been a professional in management in my past life. I could get a job if I wanted to. But I actually like this work and consider it a vocation.

There is a lot more but so often, men will think that women in this business lack depth and intelligence. I'm always surprised when a guy will tell me, "Wow, you're rather smart, aren't you?" It's almost like he's saying that I'm smart "and you're an escort"?

Well, I have an education and I like to write. That's why I might sound smarter than some. The truth of the matter is that I'm average in intelligence and have the advantage of an education and I like to read a lot.

I wish that more men realized that so many of the women in this business are REALLY smart but that some might not have had that advantage. In Dallas, I see women that are so intelligent and have the wit that is just incredible. I don't see dumb women in Dallas. Of course, I'm not looking.

But the misconceptions that the men and women have of each other could fill a book, especially in this realm!

Good topic!

Warmly,
Elisabeth

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

.... Most providers I know have children, do the school thing, but have very few real friends. Even amongst the ladies they must always be on guard. Ladies will sabotage each other for my money. Men lie to them about everything!!! So, a provider in my expereince with some time in the job is very cautious when I just do something nice, wondering what I want out of her? Nothing, I do nice things for others with no expectations, that simple. Then providers tend to think they can take advantage of me, lol. Always trying to get more for less, just like any other salesman. No balance IMHO.

My experience tells me Providing is a very lonely business, and when a guy helps she tends to think he is doornmat or sucker. Which to me indicates low self esteem on the providers part (why does this guy want to help me? He only likes my looks, not my brain or soul. I am not smart enough to get a good paying job, etc). Makes sense to me, she has a job she cannot talk about openly, usually hides from her mother and kids, and she meets with some really gross men that turn her off completely....

How sad. I don't know how much of that is true, but I suspect quite a bit.

Being an older lady when I started (age 47) might have been a good thing socially; I had an active life with lots of people in it before, and still do. A few of them know my current profession, and shock long ago gave way to fascination since I am so far from the stereotype. Probably helps that I have liberal arts and theatrical connections, as those minds are more open to alternate lifestyles. I do occasionally get the incredulous, "I can't believe you actually make enough money to live on from this full time!" I invest the best of myself in everything I do, so why wouldn't I expect a decent return? Those who can't handle the truth just get a different version of my reality.

I don't think I'm much competition to most ladies on here, and that statement has nothing to do with my self esteem. I just chose from the beginning to attract a different clientele for the most part, and not everything I do is confined to a few short hours in the bedroom. Some gentlemen desire physical (and not even necessarily sexual) AND emotional connections, so contact doesn't end when they leave my presence, and many times I spend most of a date fully clothed, just enjoying mutual companionship. I don't get weirded out if gentlemen treat me nicely; I kind of expect it because most people will reciprocate in kind with the way they are treated. Of course I like to be spoiled (perfect choice of career for that), but I'm always very appreciative. I don't take advantage of kind gentlemen; there are fellows on here who have offered much when they knew things were a bit difficult for me, but I never accepted. My Irish pride would slap me sideways. It would never occur to me to treat gentlemen as doormats, or gossip and say unkind or untrue things about other providers. I have too much respect for others, and having been treated badly (as everyone has at some point), I remember how that stung, so why would I want to hurt another person similarly? Spite? What a waste of time and energy. I'm obviously intelligent enough to get a "real job," as are most of the ladies on ECCIE, I think, if they wanted to put forth that effort. But most of us like being fully in charge of our jobs and schedules, not because of laziness, but because we work better without Big Brother Bosses looking over our shoulders.

I see good in everyone (which can be a flaw, I realize, if not balanced with caution), and the physical traits of attractiveness never much mattered in the first place to me, so the only things that really "gross me out" and turn me off now are bad hygiene, disrespect, and lack of dependability, aka NSNC.

Perhaps it has something to do with my being a Libra and a lucky Irish lassie; things in my life are pretty balanced. However, wouldn't bother me to have trouble balancing my checkbook because I was dealing with lots of large numbers.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

Most providers I know have children, do the school thing, but have very few real friends. Even amongst the ladies they must always be on guard. Ladies will sabotage each other for my money.

Amen. They will do ugly, nasty, vindictive things just to get the upper hand or get their name out there. That is what I have seen.

As for the rest of your post, Spot on !