Fair is fair: Make it right

[legman+]

I had to disable my account for awhile and also resigned from P411 due to being betrayed by someone I really thought was a friend. I know it's a tough line to walk in hobby land between friend and client but when you've been there for someone when nobody else was and literally picked them up off the streets when they're broke, it really hurts for them to flat out use and disrespect you. Wouldn't ever have expected this from her but, it is what it is.

I'm hoping this will be resolved before I have to call her out publicly. I've wrestled with this for awhile. I'm just a typical working guy and not some well off player who can toss $500-$1000 to gals and not blink an eye. I don't know how many guys have wimped out after being used or taken for a ride and don't say anything, but it's wrong. Period. Especially when it's done under the cover of friendship.

I can pull ATM transactions to match the events from the start of this whole thing about 3 weeks ago. Plus my phone text string has all the conversations to back it up including the final NCNS and brush off from the other day.

Condensing it down quickly my 'friend' hit me up for $200 for (blank) emergencies with an agreement to deduct it off the next session. We made an agreement for a special overnight session which was completed and was great - at least I thought so - and the agreed upon price was paid with the $200 still outstanding. A week ago tonight she texted me that she had another emergency with a deadline to pay fees by the next day, Monday the 23rd. $410 was paid to her then. We had a quick session of maybe 20 minutes which I didn't expect or was ready for but I'll be generous and say that erases the earlier amount of $200. She was to return in her own words, "in a couple of days" to make good on the other. It will be a week tomorrow and I've received only an excuse and nothing else, not even an apology. *JUST TO BE SURE 'BACK IN A COUPLE OF DAYS' COULD HAVE MEANT FOR BCD ACTIVITIES, BUT STILL I HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD FROM HER. THAT'S THE ISSUE.

I'm not the type to seek revenge and just about anyone who is fair can read my posts and see I try to offer something interesting if I can or a bit of humor. That's who I am and it makes it all the more difficult to do this, but it's also not fair for this person to post threads and get reviews that present a squeaky clean 'good girl' image when she knows what she's done and how badly she has behaved especially when what I did was done in faith both in her character and her claim of need.

I'm going to wait until tomorrow evening 8pm to see if she will respond to me privately to work this out and if she makes good on what she owes, I'll never post her name and have this thread closed. If not, I will take the heat of the WK's and post her name because it's simply wrong for her to continue as the innocent thing she seems to be.

PS: Julie, it's not you.

[Go4it]

If you loan em money for an advance session and they don't come through it's totally 100% your fault for loaning it to begin with. The rule of thumb around here is you aren't loaning them money - you are giving it to them and if you get it back consider yourself lucky.

This whine story has been aroung this board and ASPD a hundred times in the last 10 years. It's your bad - no one cares. Move on.

[ShysterJon]

Your post is worthless unless you name the girl.

[Guest082216-1]

Don't beat on the OP. You dont know the conditions of the loan, While some women are highly unreliable, if they promise to pay back, they should pay back. Speaks to their character a lot. Some women are increadably convencing. If posting she reniged on a loan, it may save some other guy with a good heart from being suckered as well.

That said, it is sound advice, based on experience, to consider any loan a gift and if you get paid back, thats great. But, dont loan if if you cannot afford to loose it. Good luck on recovering the loan. Hope it works out for you

[wizzbang]

I'll man up and admit I've fallen for the same shit before loosing a lot more than a few hundred bucks. But I still have the occasional provider hit me up for an advance. I tell them, "sure thing...meet me at my bank and we'll have a promissary note drawn up, signed and notarized".

Then....silence.

[Guest022315]

Originally Posted by Go4it

If you loan em money for an advance session and they don't come through it's totally 100% your fault for loaning it to begin with. The rule of thumb around here is you aren't loaning them money - you are giving it to them and if you get it back consider yourself lucky.

This whine story has been aroung this board and ASPD a hundred times in the last 10 years. It's your bad - no one cares. Move on.

Correction for accuracy sakes. Loans in hobby are akind to loans to family and friends. 99.99% chance you wont get paid back. I myself when I first joined the hobby did not know any better got a with a provider and loaned her money. After i read posts about these kinds of situations and I assumed i was Mr Sucker. Luckily for me she made good on it. Leggsman I hope she makes good but my money is on you will be posting her name
If your a premium access member Click

[wizzbang]

I do agree with the consensus. Out her if she doens't make good. And I encourage everyone else who has ever lost money the same way to out that provider as well.

[legman+]

For the critics, I've been a client of hers since she came from UTR. It might be bad judgment on my part, but I thought the general rule of most decent human beings is you build trust over time unless events/circumstances prove otherwise. Nothing in our past encounters, BCD or otherwise, would have led me to believe she would betray me.

[lda523287]

Legman, I think you're being more than fair. If she is/becomes aware of this thread, she may respond in a positive manner. If not, you have already warned of your intent, I respect that.

[Guest112916]

+1 Ida523287. I think Legman has posted this thread nicely and giving sufficient info and warning to the provider involved. It's not ugly, harrassing or vitriolic. However, if she doesn't make right he should call her out for all of us so others won't be beguiled by the same provider. There are many providers out there who do this, especially now at the end of the month depending on how slow their business has been or their lack of money management. If she settles up, close the thread, if not, inquiring minds want to know. Shame it happened to you Legman, lesson learned, move on.

Be Safe, Play Safe

[TrailBlazer]

I agree in that she needs to make it right, or Legman should call her out on it and out her. A promise is a promise.

[Juan Pablo de Marco]

see what happens when there is no football on? people actually read these threads.

[Guest100513-2]

Makes me want to loan some money, rent is due wednesday...

[Hercules]

Originally Posted by Go4it

If you loan em money for an advance session and they don't come through it's totally 100% your fault for loaning it to begin with. The rule of thumb around here is you aren't loaning them money - you are giving it to them

This is a crock attitude and the exact reason some of these women get away with this shit. This woman will just continue to pull this stunt because she knows she can get away with it as long as attitudes of "it's never HER fault" continue. If she doesn't make good ASAP then she's nothing more then a scam artist and a fraudulent thief.

Not to mention the women who actually DO pay their debts in a timely manner get lumped into the ones that won't.

[Luv_da_girls]

You guys who criticize the OP are part of the reason why these girls think they can pull this crap and get away with it. People do this kind of thing because they never have to suffer the consequences for it.

Legman has every right to expect to be paid back.

The provider in question is the one who has done wrong here, not the OP.

We can debate all day long about whether or not he was wise to make the loan. That's not the point. She promised to pay him back. She lied. She's also a thief if she doesn't make good on it. It goes beyond just the money. It's a lack of basic respect.

I've got one myself that I'm considering outing on this kind of thing too.

And I think the flip-side of the coin applies as well. If a guy cheats one of the girls, she should out him as well if he refuses to make it right.