Providers what do you think - Fetish or Not?

[5T3V3]

Before I start - just in case a provider sees this and says I can do that I thought I would post my very narrow type (always been female, 18-28, B cups can go low as AA but not over C, spinner type to athletic build, 5' 5" or under preferred but definitely under 5' 10") really not an ISO I am trying to see if this would fall into the Fetish Heading.

I have always felt I had a dominate personality sexually. In RW and in hobbying, I don't feel like I have expressed that much as I am always polite and very concerned about my partners comfort and pleasure - kind of a you get yours then I will get mine attitude. Now I am not talking whips and chains and shackles ... where I am thinking I would like to start is finding a provider that kind of likes being controlled. It seems like most providers fall in the dominatrix category with very few true submissive providers. For me it needs to be a real submissive and not someone acting submissive because if I felt or picked up on the fact that they really weren't liking it or were just acting - I would not be able to play the dominant role as I believe it would shatter the illusion for me.

So, what I am really thinking about as a starting point is just verbal type commanding, nothing really physical. Like "stand here, don't move" "take off your blouse" "hands at your sides" "kiss me" "kiss me like you mean it" "on your knees" " put just the tip in your mouth" " let me inspect you" " bend over the table" etc etc etc. basically just me calling the shots from time in to time out and you doing what I say ... beside that just BBBJCIM, regular sex various positions, I am not even into anal so no anal even. maybe masturbation for me would be the weirdest thing I might want to do/try. no spanking, no pain, maybe tools but probably not even that at first unless it was their idea to use them ( but even then I am getting back to pleasing and not dominating) So is that, considered a Fetish and I need to look for someone advertising that or is that pretty mainstream. I would even feel uncomfortable with a collar and lead type dynamic. I do not want to take one of my GFE's and change that relationship, because I like those as they are and don't want to mess up the dynamic. I really want to find a person that if I find I really like this type of thing would enjoy it as well. Is this something that I need to seek out a fetish friendly person for? It just seems to vanilla to be fetish to me, but you ladies often see things differently than we guys do. And I am a little uncertain if many providers would even play a submissive role as most tend toward the dominant side it seems, so that in and of itself might push it into the fetish arena? or is what I am wanting pretty main stream and I just need to seek a submissive type provider that has an interest in this type of play? I have tried groups outside the hobby, but what I describe is waaaay to vanilla and light for anyone to play at which again makes me think this is mainstream and not fetish and the harder stuff that they like is very off putting to me.

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[GlobeSpotter]

One fetish not discussed much on this board .....

..... is the use of hard returns.

People like more hard returns.

It just must be taboo to talk about it.

[Mr. GPop]

sounds like someone needs to be on a different site for this.. (pm me if you want to know what site you will have better luck finding it)

[5T3V3]

Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

One fetish not discussed much on this board .....

..... is the use of hard returns.

People like more hard returns.

It just must be taboo to talk about it.

funny ... but off topic.

GPop - PM sent but as I stated above I have looked at many fetish communities and they all giggle at the "softness" of where I want to start , so if that is where you are going I doubt I will find an interest just FYI!

[SpiceItUp]

There's nothing too hardcore in there man. If you lay out your fantasy beforehand and make it fun I think you'll have no trouble finding eager participants.

I like all kinds of sessions myself spanning the range from GFE to full on PSE depending on my mood and, equally important, what the girl is into. I haven't experienced your pattern that most providers are dominant but then again I have a strong personality myself which perhaps brings out the submissive side. Or, because I tend to take charge of the session they just roll with it.

Like you, I want the girl to actually be into it too. I'll choose a girl who meets my criteria that particular day (looks, menu, GFE/PSE spectrum) but one never really knows how it will go until you get together. When it comes to the GFE/PSE spectrum it's usually easy to tell in mid session which girls either won't mind or would love to push the boundaries a bit, it just requires paying attention and following their lead so to speak. What I mean by that is, anyone involved in any sort of submission play will tell you that it's really the submissive that is in control.

Be attentive, if they're into it then go for it.

[boardman]

TL;DR

[LadyMoxie]

You find a provider. You provide the reference/s needed for screening. After you get that out of the way, you simply make that request... There's lots of providers that are willing to do this... That would be categorized as light domination in my opinion... Hope that helped some! (-:

[eccieuser9500]

Originally Posted by SpiceItUp

. . . it's usually easy to tell in mid session which girls either won't mind or would love to push the boundaries a bit, it just requires paying attention and following their lead so to speak. What I mean by that is, anyone involved in any sort of submission play will tell you that it's really the submissive that is in control.

Be attentive, if they're into it then go for it.

This sounds a little too far for the OP. I think if you make this clear in the set up process, it would go easier than you think. If the kink is just in the verbal commanding of the provider, not much a fettish unless you role play IMHO, then I could see that provider saying "Just do what you say? When you say? Nothing out of the ordinary?"

Not exactly Shades of Gray here. Sounds like a Daddy/daughter, Doctor/nurse, Teacher/student scenario. Without costumes, just sounds like a John/hooker session.

[Luvs2Purrr]

Even though you are not using any tools / toys to start. That is still a very Dominating role that you are asking. I would not say that is "fetish" area. Just sounds like since you don't want to take your GFE's and have them playing that sub role, that you just need something different every once in a while to spice things up. I would definitely seek someone who is submissive. Join Fetlife, if you are not on there currently. Go to some of the "invitation only" parties they offer. Start there. I have seen many providers on here that mention they are submissive.

Enjoy and have fun!

[Eccie Addict]

Originally Posted by LatinaMoxie

You find a provider. You provide the reference/s needed for screening. After you get that out of the way, you simply make that request... There's lots of providers that are willing to do this... That would be categorized as light domination in my opinion... Hope that helped some! (-:

You have to see me!!


Will that work or is that too dominating

[5T3V3]

Originally Posted by Cyndi Lyn

Even though you are not using any tools / toys to start. That is still a very Dominating role that you are asking. I would not say that is "fetish" area. Just sounds like since you don't want to take your GFE's and have them playing that sub role, that you just need something different every once in a while to spice things up. I would definitely seek someone who is submissive. Join Fetlife, if you are not on there currently. Go to some of the "invitation only" parties they offer. Start there. I have seen many providers on here that mention they are submissive.

Enjoy and have fun!

I think in the end I will probably seek out a provider here. My life in RW is just too busy to invest the kind of time Fetlife needs, and as said before they tend to be pain or humiliation oriented which is not me. I have such small windows for play time and they often open quickly, so pay for play is just easier to manage. It is sounding more and more that this is something that when I get ready for it, I can just post in the is seeking section and find someone. but I did sign up and will likely use that idea if everything here fails ...

[Guest021217]

Its still a dom/sub session I can't do that I would talk back the whole time ha

[Lexieinhouston]

This seems pretty light dom to me and something I love, but I'm not in your range of preferences. I'm sure many ladies would accommodate you on this, I'd try Kaitlydior.



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[5T3V3]

Originally Posted by Dorthy_Monroe

Its still a dom/sub session I can't do that I would talk back the whole time ha

hahahahahahaha .... yes you would ... if I were to tale you up on anything I think I would just take you gambling ...

Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston

This seems pretty light dom to me and something I love, but I'm not in your range of preferences. I'm sure many ladies would accommodate you on this, I'd try Kaitlydior.



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oh yes ... she is delicious and has been on my radar already if something ever falls through with an Regular ... nice to know she might be able to help me explore that side ... certainly moves her up the list. Thank you.

[Luvs2Purrr]

Originally Posted by 5T3V3

hahahahahahaha .... yes you would ... if I were to tale you up on anything I think I would just take you gambling ...

You would probably have to ball gag her.