Give the OP a break, I wanna see where the spots are too.
I went to Smoochees the other day with my cutie, and right when we got comfortable in the couples room and feeling our drincks, a creepy fucktard walks in the room with some jorts and a fuckin leather fanny pack on... waving and saying "Hi!" I mean, my eyes were fixated on that damn fanny pack. It was right in the front too, cocked to the left. Needless to say cutie's hard-on went from a 7 to a -2 so we booked it out of there, and all I was left thinking is "
absolut, is that you?"
Surely I can do better.