Social-lite

[TerraFirma]

No, this is not a thread about young gorgeous people sipping champagne in the clubs. What I'm talking about is a mini version of the "social" that happens periodically here in Austin and other cities. I'm sure there are other Eccie members that are intimidated (my problem, not anyone else's) by the socials that are hosted locally. I love the "idea" of the social but like others I presume, just can't pull the trigger as I have a RW that must be mutually exclusive with my hobby life. This is not a Venn diagram where my hobby life represents a circle that overlaps my hobby life. No, these circles stay way, way apart. Having said that, I think the idea of meeting a few providers for cocktails for a less organized and smaller M&G would be intriguing. This is by no means an effort to undermine the "social thing". I think it's great. It's just an outlet for us wimps who can't quite make it at this point. Is there anyone out there in the community who feels the same way and might want to partake in a social-lite? CK and others: if you see a problem with this thread or line of inquiry, please let me know if this has potential issues that I cannot see right now. It can all be done privately by PM after an initial CoEd post seeking a happy hour get together. Thoughts?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by TerraFirma

No, this is not a thread about young gorgeous people sipping champagne in the clubs. What I'm talking about is a mini version of the "social" that happens periodically here in Austin and other cities. I'm sure there are other Eccie members that are intimidated (my problem, not anyone else's) by the socials that are hosted locally. I love the "idea" of the social but like others I presume, just can't pull the trigger as I have a RW that must be mutually exclusive with my hobby life. This is not a Venn diagram where my hobby life represents a circle that overlaps my hobby life. No, these circles stay way, way apart. Having said that, I think the idea of meeting a few providers for cocktails for a less organized and smaller M&G would be intriguing. This is by no means an effort to undermine the "social thing". I think it's great. It's just an outlet for us wimps who can't quite make it at this point. Is there anyone out there in the community who feels the same way and might want to partake in a social-lite? CK and others: if you see a problem with this thread or line of inquiry, please let me know if this has potential issues that I cannot see right now. It can all be done privately by PM after an initial CoEd post seeking a happy hour get together. Thoughts?

More than one local provider tends to put together a M&G with different themes of sorts. There are Halloween parties, Poker Parties, spontaneous "night on the towns", etc....

Some are announced in TRYST and some get discussed here in CoED....

Everyone has their own way of selecting their guests......

Sixxbackh hosts one every couple of months that gives people a chance to meet the Mods and others.... I do GC get togethers.....

Find a couple of ladies and do your thing.....

There was a lot more of it a few years back.... The organizers just drifted away and the void did not get filled.....

[quzi]

If you really want to do a M&G in private to protect your RW situ, I say put up or shut up. Rent a suite and screen everyone yourself. Outside of a few select cities around the states, it's a difficult gig not dissimilar to herding cats.

[ck1942]

TF - Thank you, sir, for raising an extremely timely discussion! So timely, in fact, that there was some similar discussion about "limited edition" M&Gs at the Austin event last night. We've had several Ltd. Edns. in San Antonio and elsewhere over the years.

But, to address a point or two you raised about all Meet & Greets. (This post may run on a bit, so bear with me, please, but since I have been organizing and hosting since 2002, lots of history, and yes, in Houston in 2009, way too much history as no doubt some hater will remind us.)

There is always a potentially HUGE element of risk involved when meeting any one in the hobby -- even ONE on ONE. Locally or distant places included.

For example, in my case, I didn't always live in Texas, but have resided in close to a dozen U.S. cities over a career including childhood as an Army brat.

Pre-internet. Maybe 12-15 years ago I returned to one of those cities after having been permanently relocated maybe 4 or 5 years earlier. I was in an upscale hotel at the airport. I used the Yellow Pages to call an agency and they dispatched a young lady to see me.

Oh the horror!

When I opened the door, standing there is my child's former babysitter (now 23 or 24).

Instant recognition for both of us. I knew her mom and two of her younger sisters who had also babysat for us.

Both of us were nonplussed to say the least but I invited her in to chat, and, if all we were going to do was chat I thought to myself that I would remit the fee no matter what happened. If only to keep her agency off her back and if nothing more than that, well....

Happy ending.

Needless to say we both realized the immediate security issues, and, also she made clear her monetary needs (nursing school expenses!) and remarked that obviously I had some personal needs that she was willing to fulfill.

= = = = =

That said, although the current events in Austin I host average 40 to 50 (sometimes more, but 49 last night) attendees, we use a public venue for several reasons. One of which, it is much easier to control security (my definition) because I feel having vetted the attendees properly makes it more likely that they will respect the event rules and also whatever legalities exist. (Think drugs, p4p, too much open chatter, etc.)

One drawback to using a public (or any space, for that matter) is that due to the peculiar geography of Austin events tend to be on the far or not so far north side. Meaning great travel and traffic issues for folks coming from south of downtown. We've been exploring some "southern" venues and, if I can gather more than a handful of ladies from that side of town, I know the gents will agree to meet on the south side once in a while.

Another drawback to using any public space is that among its "civilian" customers and staff, there's always a chance for a chance for recognition among civilians and hobby folks. Sure, we could utilize multiple venues, but that actually expands the potential for recognition issues.

Using very private (hotels, as suggested above) venues has definite pluses and minuses.

For one, hotel staff might be very curious about a stream of ladies and gents (even if only 10 or 12 total) going through a lobby or passing hotel workers preceding or after the event. Someone, think about it, must sign for the hotel room, putting his or her RW identity at risk. In many cities there's an ordinance allowing LE to inspect the guest registers.

And, as a matter of fact, anyone booking space in a commercial venue likely will confront the issue of who guarantees the tab, who guarantees for the space, etc.

If using a private space, such as hotel room, there's the matter of provisioning the liquid refreshments and/or nibbles, food items, etc. or ordering room service. And, also the matter of "cleaning up the innocent evidence" and making sure no activities happened that might leave other "evidence."

My experience also draws on that of other organizers in California, Texas, East Coast and elsewhere.

Many of we organizers a few years back individually and collectively more or less agreed to share some of our successes and failures.

Our collective consensus was that none of us would attend an event unless we were 100 pct confident that the organizer paid the proper attention to personal and collective security (#1 with a bullet was local LEO issues) and attendee "comfort" levels (#2) meaning: venue, traffic, costs, crowd composition ratios, ease of entry and departure, local traffic patterns.

In Austin, San Antonio and Houston, for example, we've had more than 5 years' experience using totally private venues, with as many as 125 or more people attending. Many times without a "theme" but others with "medical," country/western, Hollow Weenie, XXXmyASS, MardiGraciASS, New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day,. Spring Fling, Hello to Summer, etc. Not sure if themes make much difference except for HW and Xmas, but, they can be fun.

Such is not inexpensive, as one must engage security, d.j., bar tenders, food service, etc. depending on the time of day and size of crowd and venue conditions.

On top of that, no one wants to discount the potential for TABC or vice issues even when using a private space. Especially if underage 21 might be present.

= = = = =

The essence of any successful event is "not much happened" - e.g., we mingled but we didn't tingle. Tame but not lame.

Truly it is the crowd that makes the event, not the organizer.

Size of crowd really doesn't matter, it is the crowd "dynamic" that counts, and one must presume a friendly and well-sized venue that allows folks to be in groups or pairs. To be greatly discouraged are "wall-flowers" who if they are very stand-offish tend to cause uncertainty for some attendees.

= = = = =

Not a nutshell, but more than many folks probably wanted to read.

I'm always open to questions and suggestions, and most of those are better voiced privately by pm or em, rather than too openly in these forums.

[rockerrick]

I think you will run into problems with attendance by some that no matter the event, will say they wish to attend, but get cold feet last minute and no show. You're basically either the type that doesn't have any concern, or those that have concerns and don't show. I've done all types of them from large to small, in Austin, SA, and Houston. I think even if you were to see someone you know, it's a public venue, you can always say you just saw someone you knew and walked over to talk to them. Whether it's a crowded restaurant or a strip club, these are during normal business hours, in which there are lots of the public there.

[Guest120615]

Originally Posted by ck1942

When I opened the door, standing there is my child's former babysitter (now 23 or 24).

Well, that about sums up my concern as my own children age through young adulthood and beyond. I'm not sure if I eagerly anticipate, or fear, one day visiting a spa, social, GC, or opening the door prior to an hour of playtime .... to find one of their female friends standing there.

I guess it's a little of both.

[Claire She Blows]

My Cards Against Humanity parties can be considered small private socials

[ztonk]

Planned and impromptu gatherings of hobbyists and providers at public and private venues happen all the time. Some are coordinated through private forums like Tryst, others by PM exchanges, emails, texts, etc. Several years ago, two (sadly now both retired) providers held a monthly "social club" at their incall.

I guess the question I have for the OP is what is it that "scares" you about participating now? Is it meeting in public? Is it the potential number of people you'd have to interact with? A fear of being featured on the 10pm local newscast?

z

[quzi]

Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

My Cards Against Humanity parties can be considered small private socials

While we're on cards, here's an specialty expansion pack from the ad industry:
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