Burn out - have you experienced it?

[grahamcracker]

How do you keep from burning out and still make a living at this business?

One of my ATFs just decided that she can't do this anymore. She has had a hard go of it this past year. She was losing her sexuality, libido, and ultimately became depressed. I once though of her as being more of the hobbyst than me but it has become obvious to me that she was becoming less enthusiastic with each visit. She was a one to two week provider, gave it more than she should have, had no taboos, but eventually she changed and became less active. Most of her clients, many of whom were with her a long time, were becoming less and less pleased with her visits, had last minute cancellations, and because they were familiar with her she would treat them with less courtesy than she would a stranger. Eventually they walked away. A few new friends were turned off before they even got to meet her.

I have no idea what she will do to raise money because after 6 years in this business she has no skills and no education. I expect that she will eventually return once she is desperatate for cash but soon thereafter she will burn out again.

How do you keep from burning out?

[charlestudor2005]

There are burnouts in every profession or occupation. Variety is the spice of life. And just b/c you don't think she has any skills, doesn't mean there isn't something out there she can do to refresh her life. Guess in cases like this, I tend to look at the glass a half full.

[macksback]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

There are burnouts in every profession or occupation. Variety is the spice of life. And just b/c you don't think she has any skills, doesn't mean there isn't something out there she can do to refresh her life. Guess in cases like this, I tend to look at the glass a half full.

I'm with Charles on this one.I suspect she worked a real job before she started providing.

[DallasRain]

ditto with Charles...


If I start to get burnout,then I take a roadtrip to spice things up

[heatherelite]

Originally Posted by macksback

I'm with Charles on this one.I suspect she worked a real job before she started providing.

True, she may have had a "real" job before but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to to back to that. Afterall, if it was so great to begin with why did she leave it? Also, depending on what type of job it is-secretarial for example-her skills may be outdated and in need of a updating and/or refreashing.

But to answer the OP's question: there's no tried and true answer. It's different for everyone. Some providers take a break and just don't answer phone calls/e-mails until they feel like they're recharged again; some take an actual vacation or just visit friends/family; some try to get or go back to their "real" job and focus on their career.

Perhaps this career just wasn't right for your ATF or maybe she had other things going on in her life that you simply were not aware of. And who knows: maybe she will come back and be better than ever!?!

[Carrie Hillcrest]

While a lot of ladies -- especially those who become someone's ATF -- do treat this as a business, it seems that there are far fewer who also realize that, like any other job, you need to take a vacation from it every now and then. Overworking oneself is easy to do, because business can be unpredictable; we never know what next week or next month will bring (or not bring) financially, so it's hard to force ourselves to NOT work.

And then there's all the stress of balancing this with the rest of our lives (day jobs, school, kids, time with an SO) and the difficulties of (typically) leading a double life -- it adds up.

Plus, there's the simple fact that this is not a good profession for everyone. While it certainly has its rewards (financial, mental, ...physical ), it can be very draining, and not everyone is able to handle the ups and downs. But, again, just like any job, taking a short vacation helps a LOT in being able to cope with that. I have been known to set my status as "Gone Fishin'" when I need some time to myself. I always feel SO much better when I come back!

[offshoredrilling]

Carrie Hillcrest

[Tiffany Cums]

I don't know...haven't been close to it yet, but have only been around almost 2 yrs....Carrie Hillcrest, sounds good to me!

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by grahamcracker

How do you keep from burning out and still make a living at this business?

One of my ATFs just decided that she can't do this anymore. She has had a hard go of it this past year. She was losing her sexuality, libido, and ultimately became depressed. I once though of her as being more of the hobbyst than me but it has become obvious to me that she was becoming less enthusiastic with each visit. She was a one to two week provider, gave it more than she should have, had no taboos, but eventually she changed and became less active. Most of her clients, many of whom were with her a long time, were becoming less and less pleased with her visits, had last minute cancellations, and because they were familiar with her she would treat them with less courtesy than she would a stranger. Eventually they walked away. A few new friends were turned off before they even got to meet her.
Treating someone you got to know with less courtesy is nothing new. Happens in real life also. I see a few that acted as you say. Only to go UTR in a simi-retired way and only see a few she really liked. And without the show, or as you put it "less courtesy". Or in need of a vaction. I have been with providers right after a vaction. And it was good for both her and her clients.

I have no idea what she will do to raise money because after 6 years in this business she has no skills and no education. Never under estimate what one can do, If they put there mind to it.
I expect that she will eventually return once she is desperatate for cash but soon thereafter she will burn out again. That would be sad. She needs to check other options in and out of the hobby



How do you keep from burning out?

IMHO

[Guest011914-1]

to avoid burn out i limit the number of people i see in a day...that way it is fun and relaxing for both...i make sure i take time for me so our time together is better..and so far that works...and mother nature makes sure I take a few days off every month anyway....but i love what i do and i had a career before and THAT burned me out

[AmericanGeisha]

taking breaks and doing other kinds of work breaks things up and lets you enjoy it all the more !

[China Doll]

Originally Posted by macksback

I'm with Charles on this one.I suspect she worked a real job before she started providing.

A real job, hmm?

Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

Plus, there's the simple fact that this is not a good profession for everyone. While it certainly has its rewards (financial, mental, ...physical ), it can be very draining, and not everyone is able to handle the ups and downs. But, again, just like any job, taking a short vacation helps a LOT in being able to cope with that. I have been known to set my status as "Gone Fishin'" when I need some time to myself. I always feel SO much better when I come back!

You are so very right! As much as some of us love what we do, it can be very difficult job at times. It's hard for me to even think about taking an unpaid vacation when I know that I'm going to end up taking care of the business side of things for at least a couple hours a day anyway; this is to say nothing of my full schedule apart from providing. I, too, have learned that taking time off is a necessity, and I have also learned to deal with those gentleman who don't seem to think I have a right to it.

Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

to avoid burn out i limit the number of people i see in a day...that way it is fun and relaxing for both...i make sure i take time for me so our time together is better..and so far that works...and mother nature makes sure I take a few days off every month anyway....but i love what i do and i had a career before and THAT burned me out

I do the same thing; staying low volume has served me well in more ways than one.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by China Doll

I, too, have learned that taking time off is a necessity, and I have also learned to deal with those gentleman who don't seem to think I have a right to it.

Any guy that does not think you have the right to take some time off is not a gentleman. but will not say what I am thinking . If I had the leggs for it and was a provider. Ones that did not think I have the right to some time off, would never see me, or not again. If I wanted to see you, and could pass your screening(I'm sure I can not pass screening). I would rather be the first to see you after a vaction.

It bothers me at times that many of my fellow hobbyists are so me me me me me me me. And I see that as the fast track of the screening getting harder to pass.

Any one can burn out if they never take some time off. Even a hobbyist.

[China Doll]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

Any guy that does not think you have the right to take some time off is not a gentleman. but will not say what I am thinking . If I had the leggs for it and was a provider. Ones that did not think I have the right to some time off, would never see me, or not again. If I wanted to see you, and could pass your screening(I'm sure I can not pass screening). I would rather be the first to see you after a vaction.

It bothers me at times that many of my fellow hobbyists are so me me me me me me me. And I see that as the fast track of the screening getting harder to pass.

OSD, every once in a while, you say some very wise things.

[offshoredrilling]

shhhhh your blowing my cover as a silly dimwit.