Regular Provider

[Lucky LaRue]

I had a lunch date today with my ATF off the clock. In an uncanny way this always feels awkward to me. Should I hug, kiss, hold hands or should it be like having lunch with a business acquaintance? My ATF had no problems with any of the above and even initiated them but it still felt awkward to me. Any thoughts? Take a minute to talk amongst yourselves.LOL.

[thecooldude]

Well, if you're not married I don't see the problem.

[Lucky LaRue]

Originally Posted by thecooldude

Well, if you're not married I don't see the problem.

Hmmmm problem.That's not the response I was expecting but thanks. You are a cool dude.

[Caitie Mae]

Originally Posted by Lucky LaRue

I had a lunch date today with my ATF off the clock. In an uncanny way this always feels awkward to me. Should I hug, kiss, hold hands or should it be like having lunch with a business acquaintance? My ATF had no problems with any of the above and even initiated them but it still felt awkward to me. Any thoughts? Take a minute to talk amongst yourselves.LOL.

Would you have been more comfortable with the PDA if you paid for her time?

~sweetness~

[RedLeg505]

How you handle it is up to you, but when I did an OTC lunch with my ATF, I treated her as if she was my date/girl friend. Now this was in a different town than where I live so the chances of a problem were lower.

[RideFreeInTexas]

I really enjoy going out OTC, usually before a session. Have been to dinner, gambling halls, shopping, casinos, bars, etc. i am all about PDA, love it! Doesn't feel awkward at all to me, and it sets the stage for a really explosive session later. I'm not married or otherwise attached, so maybe that's the difference between being comfortable with it versus uncomfortable.

[SA Angel]

Personally, if it's someone I've seen before then affections is always on the table. If it's your ATF I would think it should feel natural. Maybe your worried the line between business and emotions were blurring too much? Since it was OTC, it could have resembled a civilian date too much for you.

Originally Posted by RideFreeInTexas

I really enjoy going out OTC, usually before a session. Have been to dinner, gambling halls, shopping, casinos, bars, etc. i am all about PDA, love it! Doesn't feel awkward at all to me, and it sets the stage for a really explosive session later.

I completely agree. Some time together before a session is always good to get the engines going!

I've also done a few OTC lunch/dinner/drinks,longer phones calls as further screening. Sure money spends but enjoyment is very, very high on my scale of importance. If I know I wouldn't feel natural or comfortable with the person then I just stop responding to communication.

As far as I can tell this attitude is not the norm. But I do this for my selfish needs. If i know I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself...several times....then what's the point?

[Lucky LaRue]

[QUOTEPersonally, if it's someone I've seen before then affections is always on the table. If it's your ATF I would think it should feel natural. Maybe your worried the line between business and emotions were blurring too much? Since it was OTC, it could have resembled a civilian date too much for you.
That probably is the best explanation I have heard thus far. Thanks SA. I do not think the lines have been blurred but I will just calm down and let things flow as they should.Thank you for your insight.

[Lucky LaRue]

Originally Posted by Caitie Mae

Would you have been more comfortable with the PDA if you paid for her time?

~sweetness~

No Catie I do not think that is the reason at all.

[Guest062114-5]

SAAngel nailed it.

[Cpalmson]

I get the relationship status concerns. I wouldn't go for the kiss or hand holding in public, but a nice non-descript hug would be appropriate. Seeing a male/female hug in public is so widely accepted, I think nobody would give it a second thought (unless your wife/SO was right there with you). Even if she is there and sees it, you can always explain it away with the lady friend being a work colleague or relative of a close friend, etc.

[JayceeRivers]

I tend to let them initiate their comfort zone and take into account discretion if it is needed. Overall I enjoy the companionship both outside the closed curtain and within so I find no discomfort in the lighter intimacies such as holding hands or kissing in public. I do however keep it PG or at worst PG13.

On several occasion with past ATF's I have spent OCT on small outings such as dinner, movies, casino time or simply a cup of coffee.

Though I would say ALWAYS trust your comfort levels and work from there. Never feel like you must do something.

[joesmo888]

just be yourself, obviously she digs you enough to see you

[gimme_that]

I treat dinner and lunch dates with providers same as I would a civilian first date. Just because a providers agrees to a dinner date doesn't mean necessarily that she wants or will adhere to your request for open displays of affection and hand holding. I think if a guy is expecting this he should specify beforehand. Thats definitely toeing a slippery slope between companionship and being discreet. Especially if that area is a ladys home turf. I think doing so is a tad presumptuous of me as a client if not asked prior, but if she initiates it kudos to her. Its a plus.

Hug and kiss on the cheek is plenty. If. I'm locking lips with a lad in public best believe she won't be showing her face in her ads.

[Zhivago52]

What works is what works. Different for every client / ATF relationship. That said, I do enjoy the few times I've been out with my ATF, and each time it's been OTC.