Did anyone run in the Austin marathon 2/19?
Well thanks a lot assholes. I was driving from my place in Hyde Park down to the UT area to run errands and hopefully pick up girls younger than me. It was 1030 AM. Well guess what! All the streets leading to the UT area were blocked off. Side streets, main roads.... there was no getting through.
Finally I found an opening to the UT area via MLK. Traffic was backed up. Then I felt my bowels aching and moaning. Oh no! I needed to get to a bathroom quick. It was too late to turn around. I was thinking of a place to go off and take a crap without being seen, but it was early in the day, tons of people and out, and cops maintaining the traffic. I feared the worst. Finally I got up to one the intersections that they intermittently allowed traffic through( I think San Jacinto?) I sped like a madman down the street to Pizza Hut. I saw the traffic cops looking at my in my rearview mirror. I got to Pizza Hut, I ran into the bathroom, and dropped my pants to the ground. Oh no! The toilet seat was covered in piss. I had to waste valuable seconds cleaning it off so I could sit down.
Finally I sat down and it was like Hoover Dam erupted from my rectum. After several minutes it was safe to get up and go. But I had flushed too much toilet paper and backed up the toilet! I ran out the door before any employees or other customers could see me. There were hardly any people there that early anyway.
So it makes me wonder how many other people had accidents today. I am very lucky and thanking God I made it through okay. I just feel sorry for the poor Pizza Hut employees at MLK and Guad who had to clean up the abomination I left behind.
|
