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Passerby · 03-26-2018, 08:26 PM

So I'll preface this by saying that my expectation of MO strip clubs is super low, but still.

Recently, I decided to get out and see the sights. On my way to Chrome, I saw a bar that didn't pop up on mapquest and decided to stop. Since it was Ladies Night and Karaoke, you might expect there to be a moderate amount of both. You would be mistaken. I was entertained at the bar by a lady on my left who was nice enough to inform the gentleman to my right that he was a low down dirty dog for doing that thing he did that time back when. Having observed this Hillbilly mating ritual, I continued my journey.

After entering Chrome, I was approached by a delightful young lady who proceeded to inform me that the dancers were not allowed to speak to patrons on the "tile" floor and when I was ready, I should move to the carpeted area. I'm not sure this is a MO law or a house rule. Either way, I suspect sphincters are overly tight.

Having observed a few dancers, I moved over to the Oasis known as the carpeted area. Here, my newest bestest friend outlined the pricing structure for dances and also informed me that, unlike the other girls, she wouldn't grind on my junk, but would "hug" me erotically; I presume. Admittedly, a part of me was intrigued to find out why she was so confident her "hugs" were worth $300 for 45 minutes.

Only one dancer got on stage and removed her bikini top, which I thought was strange given the customer oriented business to which they were employed. When I asked about it, I was told that pasties were expensive. Having never purchased pasties, I could not argue against the merits of this decision. Apparently, it is cheaper to complain about financial difficulties and hope for the best rather than give the customer a glimpse of the thing they got in their car, drove to the club, and paid admission to see.

Yay MO strip clubs.

ck1942 · 03-26-2018, 08:36 PM

Thanks for the rant.

Duck tape cheaper than pasties, and can also be used to remove upper lip hairs and even lower lip hairs.

SCs vary from town to town, and sounds like KC is much less fun than San Antonio.

cmore197474 · 03-26-2018, 09:03 PM

Its a state thing in Missouri, and a city thing in Kansas. The Kansas municipalties in the the kc metro are strict and less fun than in wichita/topeka and even lawrence.

Unique_Carpenter · 03-26-2018, 09:03 PM

CK,
Don't know about San Antonio,
But, KC has nothing compared to Houston or Austin.
Even my once upon a time ago place on the east coast is still better than anything in KC.
Last, San Diego, just north a bit of the Navy base, with the UCSD gals, is still my fav memories place. Amusing to see some ex-waitresses I knew in RW, slinging a stage show.

Yes_Im_that_good · 03-27-2018, 01:59 AM

Should have just went to temptations or Bazookas if you wanted to blow 300 on a little fun. They dont really care about the ordinances.

GrandNagusZek · 03-27-2018, 06:33 AM

Be careful even in Strip Clubs. Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch was busted just recently. The moral guardians are getting bolder as their "victories" mount.

LovingRetirement · 03-27-2018, 02:00 PM

Strip clubs in the KC Metro area are so bad it is difficult for me to believe they stay in business. Ugly girls, stupid rules, poor attitudes and definitely the opposite of customer focused. A good club can be fun but they don't exist here except maybe on some rare occasion. I am surprised guys keep going back. But they won't get any of my money.

DallasRain · 03-27-2018, 02:31 PM

The strip clubs in new orleans are awesome.... Hell i have even been pulled on stage and slid on!
Sorry you had a bad ecperience!

Enchanterlingum · 03-27-2018, 10:22 PM

I've never once been in a strip club because I never saw the point.

It's like going steakhouse and sniffing the windows from the outside.

Mr.Frosty · 03-27-2018, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DallasRain

The strip clubs in new orleans are awesome.... Hell i have even been pulled on stage and slid on!
Sorry you had a bad ecperience!

I was in New Orleans last spring and had a great time in a few of the strip clubs there. They were great! Was definitely "motivated" to spend a bit more money than I anticipated. haha

I want to go back later this year, but read that they were starting to crack down on the strip clubs on Bourbon Street. Hopefully that's not the case, as that would be a real shame. Maybe it's just the news blowing things out of proportion.

Passerby · 03-28-2018, 12:46 AM

Thanks for your condolences DR N.O. is certainly on my bucket list. Every time February rolls around I remember that I forgot to make plans to get down to Mardi Gras; one of these days though...

Surprised no one has mentioned "East St. Louis" (Sauget and Brooklyn, IL)? I haven't been in awhile, but back in the day they were hands down some of the best clubs in the country. Not to gatekeep, but until you've seen two females in a shower and one girl lets a gent pull 20 feet of plastic pearls out of her cooch, well I dare say you haven't been to a strip club; good times.