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extant51 · 01-16-2010, 10:32 AM

I saw a post on the national forum that talked a little about how some providers have an ingrained contempt for a married man sad sack partaking of the hobby when his wife of many years is at home presumably left on the sidelines. This caused me to refelct on my situation and why I engage in the hobby while enjoying a 40 year marriage. I am in my late 50's but still young at heart and healthy. Not that I hobby all that much, I do have a deminished sex drive, but at certain times, the drive is back and it may not correspond with the drives and desires of my wife. She still has those, but with age and certain medical conditions thay do not appear often.

I try to limit my hobby to what I enjoy most which is bj because I feel less guilty afterword due to the stigma of full sex as implying a commitment. I think that that feeling is what is the basis for a provider to feel contempt for a man stepping out for a bj on his loving wife.

Anyway, I have to do what gets me through life and I am just trying to limit my hobby to one provider that I can see regular enough that she will know my needs and satisfy me like my wife once did. I have seen three providers so far and have not found one that provides what I need and I am becoming discouraged. Money is not the object, it is the providing with the sensuality and caring without judgement that is important. I have read all the reviews, posts etc and it is hard to decide from those which one may fill my need.

Well the sun is out today and the rain has stopped. I hope you have not wasted your time reading my blog here.

Guest121514 · 01-16-2010, 10:36 AM

I highly recommend Lauren as your post sounds oh, so familiar...

Mossman · 01-16-2010, 12:22 PM

I'm glad that I haven't met the ladies you speak of that have contempt for their married clients. I too have been married for over 40 years and I find total acceptance from the ladies. Think about it, if they have contempt for you, what does that say about them. After all, you are only buying what they are selling. The dynamics of a long term marriage are varied and sometimes difficult to fathom. Your business is your business and no one else's. Remind you of glass houses?

ammonite · 01-16-2010, 08:08 PM

I agree with Mossman. I've seen a number of ladies here, they all know I am married (30+ yrs), and I haven't gotten any bad "vibes" or disrespect from any of them. Actually all of them have been great and a lot of fun. All I can say is try again until you find someone you click with.

sixxbach · 01-16-2010, 08:24 PM

i talk with a couple of providers on a reg basis and they always joke, that if it wasn't for married men, they would not have much business. don't be so hard on yourself.

Fiona Foxxx · 01-17-2010, 01:22 AM

I agree.

Don't be so hard on yourself.
Having an *encounter* with a young lady is *not* the same as having the investment one has with your spouse. As a reminder, many providers are *also* married.

The reason this *world* exists is for many reasons. Though I will not explain them *all* here, I will state this: hobbyists enjoined a providers companionship because she can listen for the hour, fulfill his sexual desires and make him feel on top of the world for an hour.

Personally, I enjoy *every* life story I've heard from my hobbyist friends. Everyone is unique, kind, respectful and genuine. I wouldn't want it any other way. I *don't* care if you are married or single - I will respect you and embrace your body either way!

If you are experiencing situations with ladies who do *not* know how to respect your life, then 1. don't see them or 2. don't tell them you are married!

and don't forget, as sixxbach commented; "If it wasn't for married men, we wouldn't have much business!"

Take care out there and happy hobbying! It's a hobby sweetie - it's suppose to be FUN!

Artie Lange · 01-17-2010, 08:31 AM

It gets tiring hearing no.

Naughty_Jezabelle · 01-17-2010, 09:52 AM

In my time as a provider, I have heard a ton of reasons on why married men hobby.
One being that it is more discreet than a one night stand or affair.
I have heard stories that have made my heart hurt for my clients.. ones of years with no intimacy, ones with a very ill wife, or some that the sexual desires just aren't there on either's part.

My major in school is Relationship Psychology which I find as ironic since 98% of men I see are in relationships. But in my conclusion a large, large number of men that see providers aren't just looking for sex. What they are looking for is a human initmate connection. It may be expressed through sex seeing that human beings express a lot of emotions in this manner. But the men that choose to see us are fulfilling a void that their SO can't or won't. That is why GFE is sought after so regularly. I always ask what is GFE to "YOU"? Not the technical definition of DFK or DATY, but what is it about a girl that gives you the feeling like a girlfriend? My signature says it all.. its not something we do, its our attitude.

I say all the time that I provide a public service. A good provider is safe, discreet and can give him the wonderful feeling of a woman's touch and affections. I just had this conversation with a girlfriend of mine. I am not married, but from seeing the men where you can see the hurt in them from a marriage not quite up to par scares me somewhat. But these men have given something to me, i know what men want and what kind of marriage will keep it going..

If only single men hobby'ed, we WOULD be out of business. Also, the men that have that void to fill are the most passionate lovers there are. I love the BFE as much as they love the GFE LMAO!

extant51 · 01-17-2010, 04:20 PM

Thanks to you all for reading and responding. I appreciate the positive comments and the insight into the hobby world. I guess the bottom line is we all have our needs and our reasons and its all good. I am sure that with all the nice ladies here that have a special human talent and an open mind, I will find what I am looking for. Thank goodness for your existance.

handyGiraffe · 01-18-2010, 08:02 AM

I agree with a number of the previous comments added to this question especially the one from Ammonite. I am in almost exactly the same situation...I decided to run the deck of providers so to check out which ones fit my needs and then to retrace back to a couple of ones that meet the needs perfectly....I found that there is some awesome BJ to be found in San Antonio so much so that, as an old guy my memory seems to run together and, as frustrating as it seems, I'll have to try all of those over again to make sure of which ones are the best! LOLOLOL!

ammonite · 01-18-2010, 01:34 PM

I know what you mean. Sometimes memory loss is a good thing.

SAKnight1982 · 01-19-2010, 05:02 PM

I feel like you are me many years into the future. I just recently married my gf of 9 years Last month and I told myself after I married I would not hobby anymore. Well that worked for the first week until 1 of my ATF texted me and I couldn't resist. It's not so much the sex, but for me it's given the priveledge of having the company of a beautiful woman whom's attention is all on you. I love that experience and I love all the women in this hobby who give us the opportunity of giving us that companionship.

DRAGON210 · 01-19-2010, 09:35 PM

I am happily married. I hobby because I long for the undivided attention from a beautiful lady. Spouses too often get caught up in day to day life to have the same intimacy and passion that can be found wth a provider. That doesn't mean that I love my wife any less. I adore her. In fact, I honestly could give or take the sexual activity. I have been with many a provider where we simply cuddle and kiss for the entire time. I love conversation with a beautiful young woman who has a good head on her shoulders. I don't want nor need the drama of a mistress. When I am with a provider, I am there for a service and she is a service provider. It is a professional relationship that satisfies a need in my life.

Guest072013 · 01-20-2010, 08:26 AM

married not married..... lol.... personally i like the married... they want to have more fun....explore.... try.... mmm getting all worked up.lol
ya'll have an awesome day

RickO'shayRabbitt · 01-20-2010, 12:40 PM

Loneliness. A need to connect with another person on an intimate, albeit superficial, level. In the real world, we have all these encounters with fellow humans, but most of them are passing, insignificant moments. We yearn for a real connection, something more than "How about them Cowboys or Longhorns or Spurs or Aggies". We want to be unmasked, yet loved and liked anyway. We think we can get that with an intimate encounter with a lady who might understand and meet our needs better than those around us who for some reason don't fulfill us. We are empty, looking to be full, trying that which we know will make us feel good at least for awhile.

Or maybe you just want some strange. I dunno.