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02-27-2014, 03:14 AM
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#1
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 30, 2010
Location: Austin
Posts: 1,636
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Ladies does this approach do anything for you or is this guy begging to be pussy whipped.
I'll give him credit for being creative or at least being a good plagiarizer but he's begging to be a wet blanket.
http://houston.craigslist.org/cas/4352028703.html
Quote:
Posted: 2 hours ago
Just fucking read this, you won't be disappointed - m4w - 25 (Kirby)
age : 25 body : fit height : 5'10" (177cm) status : single
Hi there ladies. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking guy that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fuckiing found him! I'm a military contractor that travels alot for work.. Why? So I can be fucking loaded! That's right! I'll buy you every fucking season of your favorite ABC family show and then we can cuddle up in our fucking Snuggies and watch it on my fucking hyoooooge TV! You see, I haven't even met you yet and I'm offering to buy you shit! I'm the most considerate person you'll ever fucking meet. I've lived down south in the woods for most of my life, spending my days hunting small woodland animals and cutting down trees and all that shit. And yes, I have slightly calloused hands and smell like a fucking lumberjack! I'm here in this big town of Houston for the rodeo cook off so I could get rid of all my shirts and cut my jeans into daisy dukes. SUN'S OUT, GUNS OUT BABAY!
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, and I'm chivalrous as fuck. If I see a closed door in front of you, I'm just like, "Oh shit I better open that fucking door." I whisper sweet nothings. I buy presents for no fucking reason. fuck it. I'm so fucking awesome it will blow your socks off and guess what? I'll be there to rub your feet for you. That's right! I went to the physical therapist once and they taught me everything there is to know about rubbing shit out. Can't you cook? FUCKING FANTASTIC! I'll eat whatever burnt roadkill you can make, I'll just drench that shit in ranch and tell you it tastes better than fucking Taco Bell when you're drunk! EVERY DAMN NIGHT! You're just going to have to Roofie me or juggle or some cool shit like that instead to get into my pants.
Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, do yoga, hike, go shopping, make out, or we can just talk about your feelings all freaking day. It's completely UP TO YOU! I'll make any situation so fucking awesome you'll want to post it as your Facebook status!
Am I interested in you? Do you have 2 legs, 2 arms, no penis, and a personality? You can bet your fine ass I am! Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'll hook yo ass up with background checks, letters of recommendation, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, pictures of bowling trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. Now if I just blow jobbed your mind with how fucking awesome I am and you can find your way back to the key board from rofling all over the place send me a message preferably with a picture!
Live, Laugh, Love <3
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
post id: 4352028703 posted: 2 hours ago updated: 2 hours ago email to friend ♥ best of
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02-27-2014, 08:08 AM
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#2
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Sexual Liber🐊ator
Join Date: Mar 30, 2009
Location: Who wants to know?
Posts: 2,045
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That you, Kosair ?
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03-01-2014, 08:16 PM
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#3
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Account Disabled
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Senses of humor make me wet.
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| 1 user liked this post
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03-04-2014, 10:21 PM
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#4
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Account Disabled
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He was into himself for the moment lol
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| 1 user liked this post
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03-15-2014, 09:01 PM
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#5
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 28, 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 455
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Kosair. Now that's fucking funny.
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03-16-2014, 06:39 AM
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#6
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Sep 2, 2012
Location: north west houston area
Posts: 1,999
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Bet the dude looks like David Spade.
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03-16-2014, 08:27 AM
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#7
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Houston ,Texas
Posts: 6,890
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That has to be Dorian .
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03-16-2014, 08:49 AM
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#8
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jun 7, 2012
Location: houston
Posts: 3,802
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carkido45
That has to be Dorian .
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I was thinking the same thing.
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03-16-2014, 11:47 AM
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#9
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Latina MILF
User ID: 207567
Join Date: Sep 26, 2013
Location: Dallas and Ft. Worth Areas
Posts: 3,244
My ECCIE Reviews
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Lol!! Loved this!! I would be too dominate for him.
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03-16-2014, 05:00 PM
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#10
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 12, 2013
Location: -
Posts: 1,496
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Whoa that guy comes off as a total douche. Worse than the Situation from the Jersey Shore...
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