A thread about hobbyists not reading our info...

[Putanna Di Classe]

Hello! Long time since I started a thread. But I was having a little trouble with a gentleman I was trying to schedule and since there is no private venue to vent in I guess I will just post it here. Maybe it will even be beneficial to have it out here for everyone to see!

So one day last week, a very nice and polite hobbyist texts me (and I do prefer text and he was very polite so already going good) saying he has seen me on P411 and he asks am I close to the airport.

Ok right off the bat, even though it seems we started off on the right foot, he is already asking me am I near the airport. It says all over EVERYTHING I have that I am at 75 & Park or 75 & G.Bush. So I get this sinking feeling that this is just someone not serious and he is just going to ask me a bunch of questions and not book (which in fact is what happened). All I can think everytime I get a question that is something I have specifically posted on my site is "omgosh, this hobbyist has not even taken the time to read about me and I am going to have to reiterate everything I put so much time and effort into posting for you guys."

I ask SEVERAL times for him to please send me his info via P411 so I can screen him and to verify it is really him I am communicating with...which he does not do. Since he has not sent me his P411 I am on guard and I am treating him totally different than I would have treated someone who has contact me through P411 with OK's that I can look at, etc. I suspect this is part of why he didn't book (double edged sword, right?).

He ask me some semi-personal info which I am uncomfortable answering because of the whole not sending me a note on P411 so I can see who it is I am really talking too. Asks me if my incall is private (this is something I take for granted that everyone knows...am I wrong, I really want to know).

So the long and short of it is that he loses interest in me...or maybe there was never any interest in the first place and he was just fishing around trying to find someone he could say he saw them on P411 and then she would just see him without verifying it? I honestly cannot say for sure.

Also a side note he said the fact that I have few recent reviews was a factor. Gosh I can't force everyone I see to write a review...and if us girls could do that the board would crash! It would be overloaded!!! Seriously though, I prolly get one review for every 50 to 100 people I see. My guys just don't review, heck most of them aren't even registered board members! Lurkers

Girls, does this sound familiar?

Guys, any feedback?

Oh and I am totally not meaning to be negative. Actually he seemed like a nice guy...but we just didn't connect, I think mostly because after the 2nd time I asked for P411 and still didn't get it that my guard went up super high. I am suspecting that caused me to come off like somewhat of a "B" or that I was "stand-offish."

Anyway, hopefully I get some positive feeeback, and also maybe the guys can see why when you are trying to schedule with a lady who doesn't know you that until you contact us via P411 or we check your references we just can't be too careful. Even a PM from here so we see who you are is helpful (but of course does not substitute for screening).

Oh, and I almost forgot! Do the guys read our info that we put up? Or do you just find it easier to contact us and ask a buch of questions? Just honest curiosity on that one.

[CenterLock]

I always read a lady's info. I also tend to ask one very simple question (which I believe has offended more than one lady) - "is your info accurate / up to date". I don't think that question is too far out of line if your info never changes. Besides - it at least means I'm reading it, right?

As for questions that are pointless (the answer is everywhere) - you'll have em. Nature of the beast regardless of the profession. Just with this one it's on a more personal level sometimes. No less annoying, but there ya have it.

[lisa.lisa0302]

Yes Marla it sounds familiar.

Info readily available and still people do not read, making the introduction and session very awkward. I just do not understand. Research research research, isn't this what the hobbyist tell each other, maybe they are not telling the right ones....giggling.

[SoleMan]

>> Do the guys read our info that we put up?

I suppose I can only speak for myself Marla, but I will read as much as I can about anyone with whom I am truly interested in making an appt.

>> Or do you just find it easier to contact us and ask a buch of questions?

That sounds like the hard way to me. But it could be that for some that they already know the answers and just want to hear your voice and some conversation to get a better sense of whether they will connect with you or not.

In this case, it probably worked out for the best for both of you. Having had the pleasure of your company a few times myself, I can say he missed out on a real gem.

[ftworthmale]

I can totally understand your frustration. Personally, I try to learn everything I can about a provider before I contact her ... And I typically use P411 for that initial contact so she can learn a something about me also, but ...

Sometimes, questions that may seem silly or stupid to you (or me) might be totally legitimate. For instance, in one of the examples listed, "are you near the airport?". Although you state your location, someone from out of town or new to the area or just geographically challenged might not have any idea where 635/75 or any other location listed is or if it's close to the airport.

Just saying, guys should read, but we are guys and sometimes just need a little "understanding". LOL

[oldmarine]

If I am interested a woman and think I would like to see her I read everything I can find: reviews, posts, web site, P411, etc. If I contact you then you have been researched and then if I have a question I will ask it. But that seldom happens.

I think you played it right. If a guy does not want to comply with your screening requirements then don't seem him. Trust your instincts.

[Lily Blair]

Originally Posted by ftworthmale

I can totally understand your frustration. Personally, I try to learn everything I can about a provider before I contact her ... And I typically use P411 for that initial contact so she can learn a something about me also

It seems like most guys are like this, especially when communicating through p411. But Marla is right. There are some people who just refuse to do any work, which to me would seem pretty scary if I were the guy. Someone asked me recently what my bra size is. It was really hard not to give some kind of smart ass answer

[boo-boo bear]

I research the lady I am interested in seeing, and read what she has posted out there for the hobbyist to see. I try to make sure she is who I wish to spend my precious time, and even more precious hobby funds, with. However, there seems to be those who do nothing more than lurk and waste time. I am sure that most of us guys have no real idea the huge amount of "contact time" via texts, e-mails, p-ms and other such stuff that you have to sort and deal with just to see one hobbyist. A lady once told me that she averages about 100 or so contacts to one visit due to those who contact, but do not follow the rules of screening (which for her are done, but not really that intrusive.)

[Nitwitboy]

I do not prefer text for this reason. Take a call, and discuss everything.

[npita]

If you call a business, ask them a question and the answer is, ``You can find that out if you do a little work yourself,'' how likely are you to spend your money to buy something from them?

[Mathowich]

I try to research as much as possible. I look at what she writes. I look at reviews. I look at where the incall is and if she does outcalls. I look at the menu, donation, pics, times available, etc. Yes, it takes time, but once done and a good time is had and the good times continue to happen, it is worth the effort. JMHO.

[randall flagg]

Other than my first two forays into the hobby world ( which were through private connections) I have always sent my initial contact through P411. I have never felt the need to ask any questions - as I do as much research as possible. I have only had a couple of disappointments - and in each case it was the clearly stated MSOG in the P411 profile or providers website - and it became obvious after the first bell ( even with ample time remaining) that the provider had no interest in further activities. I have been especially pleased when a provider mentions something in my P411 profile indicating that they have actually shown an interest in how to make our time enjoyable.

As far as reviews go, I rarely posted on ASPD or ECCIE, for the simple fact that the ladies I choose to see are held in high regard on the boards, and I rarely feel that my experience has been any different and would not necessarily add to the providers reputation.

My two favorite song lyrics

*** I am stranded all alone at the gas station of love - and I have to use the self service pump***

***I started swearing to my g-d and on my mothers grave that I would love you til the end of time ----- so now I'm praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive***

[Valentine Michael]

Originally Posted by npita

If you call a business, ask them a question and the answer is, ``You can find that out if you do a little work yourself,'' how likely are you to spend your money to buy something from them?

How many businesses are out there with loads of people who get there kicks asking questions, talking to the workers, and never buying? I don't doubt there are some that exist besides escorting, but id bet there are very few to none with as many.

[Lily Blair]

If you call a subway and ask what they sell, then ask for a description of every sandwich, then ask if they could go out and get some special cheese just for you, then ask for the meat on your sandwich to be folded into origami, etc etc.....how likely do you think it is that they'll have a sandwich ready for you when you get there?

[Putanna Di Classe]

Wow all really great responses!

I am glad to see all the different points of view!

Just to clear up why I stopped taking voice calls, it is because people will call you and say VERY inappropriate things, talking about services in exchange for money, want to talk dirty, etc. I just had to put a stop to it...because this isn't just any business. If you call a shop and ask them exactly what do you get for a $xxx.xx lube job, the shop runs no risk of incriminating itself if it describes the service to you in full detail. Just saying.

I think sometimes some people (not all the people-and not all the time, as I can see from the very thoughtful feedback from hobbyists in the thread) forget how dangerous it is for the ladies each and every time they meet some new, before screening takes place. You have to be careful not to "spook us" by inappropriate questions, etc. before you get past the screening. This is one reason I love P411, it isn't fool proof, but even while I am waiting for your OK's to answer me back and tell me yes you were cool and she would recommend you...there is a huge benefit of the fact that you are contacting me though P411 and I can have a much (MUCH) more open discussion with you because in essence just contacting me through them you are halfway screened.

Thank you SoleMan...and it has been TOO LONG!!! BTW, love your avatar, strappy sandals are HOT.

CenterLock...I think that is a very valid question. Sometimes we can make changes and have not had time to change our info in our showcases and on our sites and other various profiles. That question in particular would not scare me off at all.

Thank you Lisa and Lily for feelin my pain with me and giving me something to LOL about first thing in the morning! Laughter makes everything better!!!