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11-12-2010, 01:13 PM
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#1
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Premium Access
Join Date: Nov 22, 2009
Location: DFW
Posts: 134
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How far would you go?
Suppose there is this hypothetical provider who has run into a string of bad luck. Suppose she had one event happen after another and it spanned a few weeks. Would you be willing to help her out each incident or start to become jaded after incident number 3. Would you set rules for helping out because this is the Hobby or treat it like most friends do and worry about it later. Would you feel entitled to some kind of discount or again treat the help as friends do. Or would you just treat the lady as friend and help her out cuz the right thing todo. I only post this question cuz i wonder how far i would go. Would like to think i can trust provider to be honest and provide help as friends. Afterall cant take your money with you when you die and sometimes someones happiness is priceless.
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11-12-2010, 02:57 PM
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#2
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 26, 2009
Posts: 3,059
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We all have different and in most cases, sliding scales on how far we would go. Early in my foray into this world, I went too far to help someone with issue after issue. It never came back.
I would be very skeptical of anyone that has issue after issue. Best to keep it to a transaction level, or to a tolerable pain threshold. Do NOT invest more than you can comfortably afford to lose or explain. Many is the story of the hobbyist that got tripped up by this simple thing.
PPE
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11-12-2010, 03:22 PM
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#3
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 6, 2010
Location: DFW
Posts: 1,175
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Kend61, you seem to have a good heart and I know what you are going through as this has happened to many hobbyists.
I agree with PPE.
If your gut is telling you that something isn't right, it is probably right
One mott
If you ever give money, give it not expecting to get it back... Whether it is friend, family, or hobby.
If it is a loan, make it contractual....on paper....nothing complex.....just the parties involved, amount loaned, and payback arrangements.
Never loan to someone who didn't pay back first loan, and I advise to set loan limit (maximum)...ie $500 per loan regardless of the amount requested.
As these latest post by the providers have quickly reminded me, this is a business....and it appears that even though the hobbyist may feel a true connection to a provider......that connection is based on the almighty dollar.
A better question is:
If a provider asks a favor, and does not even offer a favor or discount, it tells you something about the provider. I certainly would never ask for a discount
Why is the provider not voluntarily helping out the hand that feeds her?
It is similar to loaning money to someone who is going to pay you back next week. Should you have to ask for your money back? No, just use it as a learned lesson, take your losses, and move on.
Many providers fail to realize that hobbyist do this in parr to help the less fortunate (and get something in return).
You helped her because you wanted to, however people who continue to make bad decisions, have to learn from their mistakes or they will continue to make the same mistakes. Sometimes people have to suffer for bad decisions.....but.....it make them better and stronger
My 2cents
Please forgive any misspellings or grammatical errors as I am typing on an iPhone
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11-12-2010, 03:40 PM
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#4
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Nov 20, 2009
Posts: 365
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On three different occasions I have helped pay one months rent to help a provider out that has had some kind of bad luck. But only after confirming the info on this board and with other providers that can confirm info.
In each occasion, I have never asked to be repayed or have I ever been offered a free session as a payback. I feel like I'm just helping someone out that is down in the gutters and needs that helping hand to pull them out.
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11-12-2010, 04:52 PM
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#5
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The Grey Knight
Join Date: Apr 12, 2009
Location: South of the Trinity
Posts: 16,839
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Incident number 3? Hell, I'd be done after the first one.
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11-12-2010, 05:17 PM
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#6
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: .....
Posts: 784
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Go as far as you can...unfortunately when it happens time after time...in the end it is probably not helping anyone and can create some misunderstandings and a feeling that nothing is being accompilshed...not much happiness there for anyone...
keep your chin up, be glad you care, you are a good person, be carefull about getting to caught up in something that is not good for you...
may the force be with you...
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11-12-2010, 05:19 PM
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#7
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 2374
Join Date: Nov 19, 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,385
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater
I would be very skeptical of anyone that has issue after issue. PPE
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Shit rolls downhill. Many know I have been on the bottom of that hill several times over the years lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinMan
Incident number 3? Hell, I'd be done after the first one.
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LOL I think he's talking about 3 different providers.
Meg
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11-12-2010, 05:50 PM
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#8
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Mar 26, 2009
Location: Winchestertonfieldville
Posts: 1,486
My ECCIE Reviews
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I am such a sucker for the damsel in distress. If I were close to her, I don't really care, I would do what I could to help. I've been burned a time or two in real life situations. I always felt good about what I did!
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11-12-2010, 08:37 PM
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#9
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Ambassador
Join Date: Mar 27, 2009
Location: AMPville
Posts: 11,065
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IMHO
Don't thow away your trust. I have offered some help and it came back. The trick was that each time I had known the lady long/well enough to believe that trust was deserved, earned, and safe.
Trust too early with someone asking and you will probably just be making a donation.
Torito
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11-12-2010, 09:35 PM
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#10
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Ribbed, for her pleasure.
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: the Dark Side
Posts: 1,721
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Only give her what you can afford to lose, because I doubt you'll ever be repaid. But there is nobility in helping those less fortunate than you...
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11-12-2010, 10:22 PM
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#11
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Carrollton
Posts: 648
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if you want to help her do so but do not expect anything back.
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11-12-2010, 11:35 PM
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#12
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The Grey Knight
Join Date: Apr 12, 2009
Location: South of the Trinity
Posts: 16,839
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan
LOL I think he's talking about 3 different providers.
Meg
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You may be right, Meg. I still stand by my response.
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11-13-2010, 12:08 AM
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#13
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Account Disabled
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I have my limits. But there have been an few I so deeply liked that I did far too much for, but I believe good karma will come back to me.
Unabashedly,
The original "Captain Save-a-ho"
I just don't know how they see me coming...
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11-13-2010, 12:29 AM
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#14
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Premium Access
Join Date: Nov 22, 2009
Location: DFW
Posts: 134
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To clarify it is just one lady who just seems to be going through a rough spot. Call me naive or gullible but as some others have stated I am just being me and helping out because I can. The lady in question seems very genuine and kind and I just believe she needs some things to fall her way for once. Im single so not so much worried about gaining anything or losing anything, she knows this and knows I got her back. Thanks to those who pm'd me privately with words of wisdom and encouragement, I know Im doing the right thing in helping her out. A smile is a priceless reward. So as the Toy Story song goes, she knows she has a Friend in Me.
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11-13-2010, 12:52 AM
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#15
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Nov 20, 2009
Location: Wylie
Posts: 1,338
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I have my limits. But there have been an few I so deeply liked that I did far too much for, but I believe good karma will come back to me.
+1 dude
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