This doesn't define who I am

[Guest011914-1]

I got an email from my best friend who knows what I do and in her email she stated "I know you have a new exciting life and have moved on from our friendship". I was like WOW!! Before replying I sat and thought about what I do,had I pushed her or anyone aside? I first tried to call her and got VM so I emailed her and stated " My new life is what I do it doesn't define me as a person or change who I am and always have been. It enables me flexibility with my schedule,enables to afford extra things for my family but I also save alot, it enables me to travel and meet alot of great people" I went on to address other issues and when she emailed me back turns out it was her own insecurities going on in her own life and had nothing to really do with me or what my new life. Has anyone else given this any thought? I think it is good to also take time and reflect on where we are and where we came from. So perhaps a better question would be has this life changed you for better or worse? To me I am happier now doing this than my other "Socially respectable profession" and feel I have grown as a person.

[JohnMacnab]

What you do defines one facet of who you are. There are many facets to our whole person. "What do you do" is probably one of the first things people ask when you first meet. How they react to the answer is totally dependant on their perception of that profession. So it does matter to a lot of people.

Personally it does not matter to me what you do for income as long as you are a productive individual.

What matters most to me is what type of a personality you have. That defines you more than any of the other facets.

[Guest011914-1]

You are correct. After reading your post I thought of a saying I used to say " I am simple yet complex" meaning I have many different sides of me and who I am.

Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

What you do defines one facet of who you are. There are many facets to our whole person. "What do you do" is probably one of the first things people ask when you first meet. How they react to the answer is totally dependant on their perception of that profession. So it does matter to a lot of people.

Personally it does not matter to me what you do for income as long as you are a productive individual.

What matters most to me is what type of a personality you have. That defines you more than any of the other facets.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

"What do you do" is probably one of the first things people ask when you first meet.

You said it all here. A lot of people don't understand that.

OP: Sounds like your friend is just jealous. However, If you've been avoiding her, consider spending sometime with her/calling her/acknowledging her presence............until she starts asking for money.

[charlestudor2005]

That sooooo reminds me of this scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmwLPU5H6_Q.

But you have to see the whole movie to realize the point of the quote.

Batman has two lives, just like you.

[Marcus Aurelius]

If only.

If only you knew now what you will know many years from now.

You would not worry or fret about this. Trust me.

If you could only take my hand and let me set you free.

Smile and let it in. let it take hold. There is much to know and much to feel.
Experience.

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

What you do defines one facet of who you are. There are many facets to our whole person. "What do you do" is probably one of the first things people ask when you first meet. How they react to the answer is totally dependant on their perception of that profession. So it does matter to a lot of people.

Personally it does not matter to me what you do for income as long as you are a productive individual.

What matters most to me is what type of a personality you have. That defines you more than any of the other facets.

It's funny how the question "what do you do" means "how do you make money." I do lots of things with my time, and only get paid for some!

[davidsmith0123]

People ask "what do you do" not just to find out how much money you make, although the answer does provide a clue. The answer also provides information on your interests, on what you do with a lot of your time, and provides suggestions for further topics of conversation regarding items of mutual interest.

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by davidsmith0123

People ask "what do you do" not just to find out how much money you make, although the answer does provide a clue. The answer also provides information on your interests, on what you do with a lot of your time, and provides suggestions for further topics of conversation regarding items of mutual interest.

I didn't say it meant "how much money do you make," I said it means "how do you make money." The question "what do you do" doesn't imply "what are your hobbies" or "how do you spend your days off" or "what would you be doing if it could be anything." And unfortunately many people (particularly many young people and/or poor people) pay their bills by doing things that have nothing to do with their interests. So if you're in a job you can't stand and working hard to get somewhere else, it's unfortunate that that's one of the first small-talk questions a person asks. It's one of the first things that define who you are to many people.

[Camille]

I agree with both the OP and Natalie to some extent. I do think what you do can say something about the person you are though and the way you think even though it doesn't define you. One of the very things I enjoy about this part of my life is the lack of bullshit. We both know why we are here and you have a very limited amount of time to get on the same page when you come together. You have to communicate (and I don't just mean talk) to get the best out of each other. That can take weeks in civvie dating because people play coy and bugger around waiting for one person to make a move incase they feel differently about one another.
I explained this to someone a couple of months ago (a platonic non-industry related male friend) and he was surprised...but he fully understood. It made perfect sense to him....and it made sense to him that on that note I would choose this for now. I detest coy and escorting is just one of the facets of me which demonstrates that.

C

[sulihu]

i think that once you decide to participate in this endeavor, you have crossed over. to verify its who you have become, see if you want to explain it to your children

[Camille]

Does that really hold though? Couldn't not wanting to explain what you do to your kids (whatever it is) just mean you are in denial? Thinking of things like alcoholism there....and alcoholism often does define who you have become because it takes such a hold of you. No?

[sexichocolate]

I ask myself this question a lot of times and I've come to this conclusion. What I do is a part of me but it doesn't define me by any means. I am so many other things to so many other people (mother, daughter, businesswoman, friend, etc.) that what I do is just another choice. Most people don't understand my choice to be in this profession but that's not my business. As long as what I am doing works for me that's all that matters.

[Guest042611]

Originally Posted by sulihu

i think that once you decide to participate in this endeavor, you have crossed over. to verify its who you have become, see if you want to explain it to your children

Do you believe this to be true for men who participate as clients, or only women?

[mufflover]

Ha! I can barely explain my involvement in this world to myself, let alone my children or anyone else. We all have our reasons....

I think perspective and feelings always meander like a river...sometimes it is controlled and predictable, other times out of the banks and raging, ebb/flow.

I have come to understand that if you allow too much isolation and only this world to influence or be your 'whole' world, it can become a hurting source.

ML