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The Sandbox - Dallas The Sandbox is a collection of off-topic discussions. Humorous threads, Sports talk, and a wide variety of other topics can be found here. If it's NOT an adult-themed topic, then it belongs here

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Old 06-06-2015, 03:15 PM   #1
Fawlty
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Default Why Do I Want To Slap Joel Osteen?

Who would you like to just slap the holy hell out of and why?

This is time for you to vent and have some good natured fun. Do you have a contemporary or historical figure (e.g., politician, athlete, actor/actress, musician, religious leader, TV personality, famous person, legend, etc.) that is on your bucket list for a face blistering slap courtesy of you now, or in the next life (if they are deceased)? I do; see below.

I know I have some issues, lol. Perhaps I need an exorcism, psychoanalysis or frontal lobotomy instead of a bottle in front of me, but I just have this urge to slap Joel Osteen into the next county; he's so damn perfect.

His teeth are spotless; his hair wouldn't move in a hurricane; his smile is infectious; he never says anything bad about even his enemies; he's a consummate positivist; he's filthy rich; he is best selling author; and on top of that, his wife is pretty damn good looking. I'm green with jealously, lol.
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Old 06-06-2015, 03:27 PM   #2
daty/o
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I don't think a bitch slap would do it for me. If I had to slap Ann Coulter until she wasn't stupid, I'd beat her to death.
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Old 06-06-2015, 03:40 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daty/o View Post
I don't think a bitch slap would do it for me. If I had to slap Ann Coulter until she wasn't stupid, I'd beat her to death.
LMAO! She's on my list too.
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Old 06-06-2015, 04:20 PM   #4
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The Kardashians...all of them.
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Old 06-06-2015, 04:55 PM   #5
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Raven Symone And Riff Raff
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Old 06-06-2015, 06:06 PM   #6
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Is it wrong of me to have a fantasy of a threesome involving Victoria Osteen and Ann Coulter? Lots of missionary would be involved.
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Old 06-06-2015, 06:11 PM   #7
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Whoever it was that cancelled the Pee Wee Herman show.

Richard Dawkins.

Whoever it was that had the idea to make movies
out of TV Sitcoms.

Whoever was responsible for those Twilight movies.

And last, the creators of the Grey's Anatomy TV show.

That is all for the first half hour.

Oh, also whoever was the writer and director of the third Alien movie.
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Old 06-06-2015, 06:50 PM   #8
Fawlty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinMan View Post
Is it wrong of me to have a fantasy of a threesome involving Victoria Osteen and Ann Coulter? Lots of missionary would be involved.
You might want to throw in the Kardashians.
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Old 06-06-2015, 11:19 PM   #9
BLM69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thathottnurse View Post
The Kardashians...all of them.
I'm in for that
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Old 06-07-2015, 06:53 AM   #10
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Any Republican candidate who proclaims they will "bring back/restore America".
I think that's all of them, actually.
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Old 06-07-2015, 07:00 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prolongus View Post
Any Republican candidate who proclaims they will "bring back/restore America".
I think that's all of them, actually.

My idea of restoring America would be to bring back Art Deco.

Any candidate that can deliver that, I'm all in.
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Old 06-07-2015, 08:20 AM   #12
Fawlty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prolongus View Post
Any Republican candidate who proclaims they will "bring back/restore America".
I think that's all of them, actually.
I agree, but I would like to restore America to the philosophy of the deism influenced founding fathers who valued common sense and reason over revealed religion.

I wish Washington, Jefferson, Paine and Franklin were here to slap some sense into those candidates Prolongus alludes too.
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Old 06-07-2015, 08:34 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daty/o View Post
I don't think a bitch slap would do it for me. If I had to slap Ann Coulter until she wasn't stupid, I'd beat her to death.
She truly is one dumb cunt, I am with you on that
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Old 06-07-2015, 12:22 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fawlty View Post
Who would you like to just slap the holy hell out of and why?

This is time for you to vent and have some good natured fun. Do you have a contemporary or historical figure (e.g., politician, athlete, actor/actress, musician, religious leader, TV personality, famous person, legend, etc.) that is on your bucket list for a face blistering slap courtesy of you now, or in the next life (if they are deceased)? I do; see below.

I know I have some issues, lol. Perhaps I need an exorcism, psychoanalysis or frontal lobotomy instead of a bottle in front of me, but I just have this urge to slap Joel Osteen into the next county; he's so damn perfect.

His teeth are spotless; his hair wouldn't move in a hurricane; his smile is infectious; he never says anything bad about even his enemies; he's a consummate positivist; he's filthy rich; he is best selling author; and on top of that, his wife is pretty damn good looking. I'm green with jealously, lol.
I've always said the same thing about Joel Osteen. The man just has a 'glow' about him. He's kinda attractive too. Definitely better looking than John Hagee.

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Old 06-07-2015, 08:43 PM   #15
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[QUOTE=bojulay;1056809670]My idea of restoring America would be to bring back Art Deco.

I LOVE Art Deco!
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