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charlestudor2005 · 02-20-2010, 02:18 PM

Good morning members of the press.

I make a zillion dollars a week. I am the best golfer in the world, and the best golfer of all time. My income may fluctuate, but I assure you, I'm set for life.

I love to fuk. Sooooo many ladies, so little time. And I like blonds the best. So, if I haven't fuked you yet, please email me at iwantofuk@tiger.com.

[End of statement.]

Sisyphus · 02-20-2010, 07:37 PM

I don't think I'd be quite as crass... but I wouldn't be wearing sack cloth & ashes either.....

"I DEEPLY regret the embarrassment I've brought upon my wife. She deserves better than she's gotten from me. I'm sorry! I DEEPLY regret the embarrassment I've brought to my children... when they're old enough to understand what has transpired. When they do, perhaps they can explain it to me because I'm still not exactly sure what the hell just happened.

What I do know is that I clearly got married too soon & I got married for all the wrong reasons. I willingly stroke a check to my soon-to-be-ex-wife for half of what I'm worth. It can't give her back her dignity but it can give her the freedom do whatever she wants with the rest of her life. She's primarily responsible for the two greatest things that ever happened to me, our children. For that, I will always be grateful to her. I will do my best to be the best father I can be to them.

For now, I'm going to go back to doing what I do best - playing golf & chasing 'strange.' Nothing wrong with either of those things. Everything wrong with pretending to be something I'm not. I'm done trying.

Take this rehab nonsense & shove it up your ass!

Rachel, thanks for keeping mum! Call me!!!!

Good day.... I said, GOOD DAY, sir..."

MrGiz · 02-20-2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sisyphus

I don't think I'd be quite as crass... but I wouldn't be wearing sack cloth & ashes either.....

"I DEEPLY regret the embarrassment I've brought upon my wife. She deserves better than she's gotten from me. I'm sorry! I DEEPLY regret the embarrassment I've brought to my children... when they're old enough to understand what has transpired. When they do, perhaps they can explain it to me because I'm still not exactly sure what the hell just happened.

What I do know is that I clearly got married too soon & I got married for all the wrong reasons. I willingly stroke a check to my soon-to-be-ex-wife for half of what I'm worth. It can't give her back her dignity but it can give her the freedom do whatever she wants with the rest of her life. She's primarily responsible for the two greatest things that ever happened to me, our children. For that, I will always be grateful to her. I will do my best to be the best father I can be to them.

For now, I'm going to go back to doing what I do best - playing golf & chasing 'strange.' Nothing wrong with either of those things. Everything wrong with pretending to be something I'm not. I'm done trying.

Take this rehab nonsense & shove it up your ass!

Rachel, thanks for keeping mum! Call me!!!!

Good day.... I said, GOOD DAY, sir..."

BRAVO'. . . . Perfectly Penned!!

But, somewhere in there.... I would have to insert "I am a Tiger... I cannot change my stripes..."

Giz

BammBamm · 02-21-2010, 12:08 PM

"I accept full responsibility for everything I have done."

Tiger now has a vag where is cock and balls used to be.

He should insert "I used to be a Tiger, now I'm just a pussy."

Pun intended.

By the way, has anyone seen Pebbles? I seem to have lost touch with her.

John Bull · 02-21-2010, 08:00 PM

Who Cares!
Why would any of us care what Tiger has to say about liking sex?

What a revelation! A fabulously rich guy likes fabulously good looking women and they like his money.

Judge Smails · 02-21-2010, 08:05 PM

He needs to just play golf, finish off the divorce papers and try to be a good parttime father.

I shake my head when people bitched that he would not take any questions? What the hell would he throw out as answers

gnadfly · 02-21-2010, 08:13 PM

What's the use of having a lot of money if you can't buy hookers?

atlcomedy · 02-21-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judge Smails

He needs to just play golf, finish off the divorce papers and try to be a good parttime father.

I shake my head when people bitched that he would not take any questions? What the hell would be throw out as answers

I hate to even comment on this because it only fans the flames or adds to something I think is a private matter....

...but I think Mike & Mike of ESPN Radio fame got it right late last week...if you were a casual friend or acquaintance of his & you ran into Tiger on the street, what would you expect of him? An apology?

...I do think he could have shown a 'lil more emotion...

...but who cares???? I wanna know when he's gonna play golf again....

Judge Smails · 02-21-2010, 08:35 PM

I did think it was good that Tom Watson called him out for the club throwing and swearing. I do think he will fix that problem.

RickO'shayRabbitt · 02-21-2010, 08:46 PM

I think he had to do it if he wants to salvage his family. Otherwise, I think he should have said "this is a private matter and I don't give a shit that the media and the public think they have a right to be inside the circle. They don't. I'll see you on the first tee. Til then, adios."

MrGiz · 02-21-2010, 08:47 PM

I still would like to know Jack Nicklaus' thoughts on the subject!!

Golf is such a head game!! Even Tiger Woods may find it extremely difficult to concentrate on the game, from this point forward!! I know he was the undisputed #1 player in the world.... but others before him have never regained their whole self after tragic life events!

It'll be interesting to see how this set-back affects his assault upon Jack's record!

Giz

flexywun · 02-21-2010, 08:55 PM

what's up with these public apologies anyway? its not my life he screwed up so he doesn't owe me anything nor do i really care to listen to these PR scripted for the press apologies. what purpose do they serve? his wife was the one hurt. do you think she watched the tv and felt any better afterwards?

Sisyphus · 02-21-2010, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gnadfly

What's the use of having a lot of money if you can't buy hookers?

If that's what he had done he might have been okay.... Keep thinking a 23-year old waitress is gonna keep her mouth shut... Brilliant!!!

Ansley · 02-21-2010, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrGiz

I still would like to know Jack Nicklaus' thoughts on the subject!!

I hope he continues to keep his mouth shut. I really don't see any reason for Jack Nicklaus to get his hands dirty with Tiger's mess.

Guest042611 · 02-21-2010, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flexywun

what's up with these public apologies anyway? its not my life he screwed up so he doesn't owe me anything nor do i really care to listen to these PR scripted for the press apologies. what purpose do they serve? his wife was the one hurt. do you think she watched the tv and felt any better afterwards?

My thoughts exactly!