No Showed - a song for the hobby

[DirrrtyOldMan]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/v48qrt4oe7...howed.mp3?dl=0



Here it is, such as it is. I was really gung ho at the beginning, but then got bogged down with life. Thanks to Majic Hands for the concept and most of the lyrics.


Yes, it needs a lot of things, like someone with some talent to write, sing, produce... but given the source material, it isn’t likely to get better than this. I do wish I had a lady to sing the high part of the chorus and second verse, but again, this is likely as good as it gets.


Enjoy! Or don’t. I always welcome criticism. I’m classically trained, and actually thrive on it. I will listen and learn from what you have to say, but won’t redo any of this particular song - source material not being worth pursuing further.


I have another that I consider an escort anthem called “Fun and Money” if anyone is interested.

[Chief62]

I loved it!!

[BBQ-Guy]

Very catchy

[hammertoe395]

Nice job, keep em coming!

[BBQ-Guy]

Yeah you probably need to do one about "sorry I fell asleep" because I think in the last two weeks I've missed out fucking three different girls because when we were going to do it I couldn't get a hold of them... so later they said sorry I fell asleep lol.
I think that's become the the total catch all Alibi excuse for being flaky now or maybe they fell asleep but either way it's getting to be real common, you better make a song brother

[DirrrtyOldMan]

Okay, an audience of three doesn’t do much for me. But one has already thought enough about to cone back with other suggestions, too. So maybe.

I actually kinda like the idea of “Sorry I fell asleep”. I’ll give it some thought.


In the meantime, here’s “Fun and Money”. Let me know if you like it.


https://www.dropbox.com/s/umy50nqglw...Money.mp3?dl=0

[ElChupaNibre]

There’s already a song about the hobby; it’s called Angelene by PJ Harvey . You should give it a listen. Not only is it infinitely superior musically; it’s also 100X more accurate on subject matter. You should maybe stick to local shitty auto/home repair jingles. I feel like that’s your ‘niche’

One less bitch by N.W.A. is another good one you should research. How’s that fat gig of a wife of yours doing? Eating? That’s nice lol

[ElChupaNibre]

Did you get your music lessons from a Cracker Jack box? Because this is the shittiest pos music I’ve ever heard in my life. Just kill yourself so you don’t make anyone else nauseous from this , I guess you call it music? It’s terrible and you shouldn’t try anything ever again. Except maybe your fat sweaty hog of a wife that you told alm the creeps about proudly. Lol

[ElChupaNibre]

You’re the biggest loser on this site and I read all areas regularly. Lol. It’s just sad really lmao

[CryptKicker]

Dude you need to chill out and stop insulting folks.

[DirrrtyOldMan]

Wow! I have a fan! More disturbing is that he does, too, with people liking his posts.

When I asked for criticism, this isn’t what I had in mind. But I did ask for it, so...


Wrong about so many things. The biggest was the biggest loser line. I’m clearly never going to beat him.

[Majichands]

Originally Posted by DirrrtyOldMan

Okay, an audience of three doesn’t do much for me. But one has already thought enough about to cone back with other suggestions, too. So maybe.

I actually kinda like the idea of “Sorry I fell asleep”. I’ll give it some thought.


In the meantime, here’s “Fun and Money”. Let me know if you like it.


https://www.dropbox.com/s/umy50nqglw...Money.mp3?dl=0

I GOT WORDS AND A MELODY FOR THAT SONG HA HA HA HA but the guys aint going to like it ha ha

[Majichands]

Originally Posted by BBQ-Guy

Yeah you probably need to do one about "sorry I fell asleep" because I think in the last two weeks I've missed out fucking three different girls because when we were going to do it I couldn't get a hold of them... so later they said sorry I fell asleep lol.
I think that's become the the total catch all Alibi excuse for being flaky now or maybe they fell asleep but either way it's getting to be real common, you better make a song brother

FELL ASLEEP

(From a providers view0


My eyes are barely open
and I feel a Yawn may come to Play
But NO I can't do that around him his feelings will get in the way


The thousand texts has exhausted me
The phone sex done me in
all his little quirks and heavy breathing doesn't make for a win


Now its time to meet in private face to face if you will
Feels like his small battle will truly be all uphill
First get past the droopy dong
Make that stand up just right
Get something like spaghetti to fit in something so tight



Doll up the face just proper not to dark not too light
Tease the hair with a flare He's going to mess it up when he pulls it tight its going to be every where


Pull up those fresh French stockings get the perfect dress red or black No I will wear this! Low cut and sexy but ok for a public romp through town
when we get back to the room it will end up on the ground


Will he want me sassy or prissy? Bold or Meek

WIll he be rough or sweet under the sheets?
Will he be generous and kind or try to get every blow for his dough?
Whats to come I truly do not know


This whole things exhausting before I even reach for the door I have a few moments, let me rest just a second before my feet hit the floor
(2 hrs later) FUCK I FELL ASLEEP and hes going to ask me why?!

[Chief62]

That was hilarious Majic