TOP 10 Signs You Are Too Old For BDSM

[cumalot]

TOP 10 Signs You Are Too Old For BDSM

10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.
9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels.
8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker.
7. When you tell your sub to get the cane, she has to specify "walking" or
"beating".
6. You can't tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots.
5. You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.
4. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen
hose.
3. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift bra.
2. You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me....back into the
paddle ....HARD!"
And the Number One way to tell you might be too old for BDSM:
1. Age play really is 24/7

[ElisabethWhispers]

Alright. This is damn funny!

I might add one (but true!) other: You're getting a bit old for BDSM when you have to ask for a pillow to put under your knees when you kneel.

Of course, one is NEVER too old!

[dickus]

After age 60, never pass a men's room or a water fountain.

After age 60, never trust a fart.

[SASpurfan]

I may be old, but I got to see all the great bands!
SAS

[Willen]

OK. Based on the other night, with two damn near insatiable MILFs here in SA [OK two MILFS I did, um, F] , who find my stamina with nipple abuse beyond belief (and I think I satisfied both of them) I'd say that age is just a number.

[SpanishJewel]

I love nipple stamina. I, at times, within my vanilla based world forget the precision and strength with which I can pinch and pull..

Not meaning to hijack this thread... I am just dying for some wanna be pinched nipples..

xoxo
Jazz

[hensley]

Thank you Elisabeth.

[cumalot]

#11 When your ATF stops making out calls to your convalescent home.

[Ms. Athena]

lol Now cum, you now I will ALWAYS make a outcall to any home your in........

[cumalot]

Thanks Ms Athena I'll try and remember that.....Now what was I suppose to remember?......

[The Slut]

I am not sure you are ever too old for BDSM as long as you are still breathing

[technoid_x]

I saw a FL profile where the Domme was looking for a sub boy to carry her oxygen bottle. I was thinking really ? Beat any dead horses lately.

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Alright. This is damn funny!

I might add one (but true!) other: You're getting a bit old for BDSM when you have to ask for a pillow to put under your knees when you kneel.

Of course, one is NEVER too old!

i have to do that now and i'm not even ancient!
and my knees have yet to stop me from having a deliteful D/s encounter!!


((slight hi-jack))
SASpurfan, me, too!!
* Canned Heat, San Antonio, 1970 or so.
* Frank Zappa, Trinity University, 1971 or so [still have his autograph]
* Johnny Winter [when he was just "Winter"] opening for Janis Joplin in San Antonio, spring 1972.
* Santana, Jimmy Page, and ZZ Top at UT Memorial Stadium, august 1973!!!
* Willie Nelson at a little [and i mean little] roadhouse on TX 71 east of I-35 in s.e. austin. maybe 30 people in the place. spring 1973.
* Captain Beefheart at the Armadillo World HQ in Austin, 1975.
* The Eagles, Ft. Worth, 1980
((/slight hi-jack))

[Willen]

Perhaps when they pry the toy from my cold, dead hand . . . .?

[DallasRain]

too funny Cumalot & MsAthena.....I actually know a provider in Oregon who visits her ATF client at his retirement community/nursing home...and has for over a year {he is 80}...the staff leaves the back door open for her every week {they think she is his therapist...lol}



lol Willen....great answer!!