Small things that irk you in a session?

[artos88]

For me it's the TV being on. So damn distracting.

[CG2014]

I have asked every provider I've seen that had the TV on when I walked in to turn it off and they do.

[pmdelites]

"why dont you get comfortable?"

better line to use would be something like ...
"here, let me get you more comfortable."
or
"here, let me get you ready for playtime."

or even better ...
just start taking his clothes off and place them in a pile or neatly folded and stacked, interspersed with sensual attention paid to various parts of his body!

[Admiral Giggle]

TV. Then when the TV is turned off she turns on her 1 hour or 30 min selection of music timed to the minute. Usually music that keeps my mind from concentrating on the act about to commence.

Going into the bathroom to freshen up and on the sink, floor, or in tub ALL of the washcloths, wet, maybe stained off white, yellow, or faded doody color from a previous guy who couldn't quite wash the darker taint tint when he freshened up.

If they have little dogs with them, tootsie rolls hidden in carpet for squishing between the toes or after eaving discovering them when you smell it on your shoe in your car.

Being called Daddy or Papi. Call me Daddy or Papi and I'm out.

[pyramider]

My 1.3" of dangling death often irritates me.

[CG2014]

1. Girls that don't undress me.

They sit there and watch me undress.

I did say to a provider (everyone's ATF M at Kendra's - who is no longer there) once: it will be fun if you help me undress?

Her answer was "you are doing just fine all by yourself."

2. A provider that doesn't put the cover on me when it's time to fuck.

They sit there and watch me put the cover on myself.

3. A provider that doesn't have a cover when it's time to fuck.

Good thing I always have some of my own and in more than one brand: Trojan, Lifestyle, Skin.

I don't trust the cheap condoms some of the providers buy.

All of the above 3 items should be part of the service from a good professional provider.

[Brandofan]

I hate it when the provider has a brown or green tongue. Brush your fucking teeth girl!

Cum breath. You know it when you smell it. BRUSH YOUR TEETH BETWEEN APPTS LADIES!

Stinky fucking pussies. Jump in the damn shower while your brushing those teeth woman!

Stubbly legs.

Refusal to kiss (assuming the above are not issues).

CBJs. Fuck that.

She's drunk or sleepy when she opens the door for a multihour date. Classy indeed.

Oh yeah, and the friggin' TV!

Originally Posted by Admiral Giggle

Being called Daddy or Papi. Call me Daddy or Papi and I'm out.

You'd hate it in South America then. It is a very common term of endearment especially with Colombianas. I love it when I'm driving it home with a Colombiana as she shouts "Ay Papi! Dame tu leche!".

Hence my avatar title.

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by CG2014

1. Girls that don't undress me.

They sit there and watch me undress.

Yeah, it's so much more enjoyable when they make some effort to warm you up a bit. Even if they're not kissers, at least some shoulder/body rubbing...something. It always goes a long way with me when they do, and I'm much more likely to repeat. The "make yourself comfortable" approach where they just want you to strip naked and lay down kind of takes away from the experience a little.

[Stangl]

Bad breath, stinky pussy either dirty or suffering fungal infection and the smell of fecal matter when going down on her.

Also bad are fingers that smell like fecal matter meaning she was scratching her asshole with no wash afterwards. I had a disgusting barber whose fingers smelled of shit. Nasty.

Nasty panties with cum stains, urine stains, blood stains and fecal matter stains. Providers make enough money to afford going to Victoria's Secret and purchasing many low cost panties. These are cheap enough to be thrown out after one day of use.

[PeterBota]

Stank pussy

[LoveNHorny]

Stop it! You guys are turning me on!

I dont give a damn about tv, taking my clothes off, and being tired ...when there's stank, shit smell, and dog shit you're stepping in during the visit.

Fuck that. No matter how horny I might be, my partner in crime would just look up at me with his one good eye and say,"Nah, we're good bro. Let's get outta here. Plan B or masturbation please."

Regards,
LnH

[Sir Lancehernot]

Some of what's been mentioned here wouldn't be a "small thing" that would merely "irk" me. They'd be major wood- or deal-killers or session--spoilers.

I get irked when I tell a girl how good she looks, and the next time I see her, she looks like she just came from Walmart, or when I buy her something nice to wear and never see her in it, or when she doesn't act as if she thinks how she presents herself matters. Yeah, we're going to get naked and messy, but the little things that say, "I value you as a client" are little things that make me want to return.

I get irked when I ask her to slow the BJ pace down and she does for 10 seconds before resuming a pace that makes me think she's a Somalian at a Chinese buffet.

I get irked when I pay for an hour and am out the door in 35 minutes. While none of us really buy the idea that we're paying for time and companionship, some of us do enjoy the opportunity to spend the full allotted time with someone outside of our RW existence.

I get irked when I respond to an ad for FBSM and get no M, so S, and no FB, only an arm's-length HJ that would be better if it were self-administered in front of my computer screen. don't get irked if I'm drawn in for an ad for FBSM and expect to pay, say, 140 or 160 for that service, and upon going BCD, am told I can get L2 for XX more and L3 for YY more. Some call it upselling; to me, it's being presented an opportunity to take advantage of services I wasn't expecting to receive and would expect to pay more for. But I do get irked if the L1 varies in price depending on whether she's clothed or offers TV or FV or MT.

[mmcqtx]

1. Smell of cigarettes when all previous reviews say "non-smoker".
2. A lack of response when I do DATY. So are you dead down here?

[Harley Diablo]

All of the above plus when a provider starts texting on the phone right before we start or right after. Keep that fucking phone off while I am there.
Also if you smell bad above or below I will leave. There is no excuse for not being clean and at your best when taking money for a session that the client expects to be provided with the best you have to offer and last I check the room and if it is filthy or wet towels all over the BR floor, time for me to say sorry I got to go.
I want the illusion that you are wanting to see me and prepare to let me know I am important for an hour at least.
Yea I can be an Ass but I pay the amount asked and expect someone to at least pretend that I am important to them during our session.
If I am asking to much then I guess I need to stop the hobby.

[Lenergeon]

When a provider has no clock and stops what we're doing to get her phone so she can check the time.
When they give really loud blowjobs. It's hella distracting and I can't relax if she keeps sounding like she's chugging a large glass of water.
Providers who over exaggerate . Like I know my junk. Stop telling me I'm hitting your cervix lol.