Humorous Hobby Experiences -- Have You Had One?

[Texas Contrarian]

I've had several, but this one's my best:

About 20 years ago, I formed a couple of partnerships for the purpose of investing in properties owned by the RTC and by REO departments of busted banks and S&Ls (of which there were many in the late '80s). In connection with that, I had the occasion to meet with the CEO of a small, closely-held company in Dallas who was eager to invest in distressed properties. I'll call him Jerry (not his real name).

Jerry had a very attractive thirtyish administrative assistant whom I'll refer to as Deborah. She and I had a couple of friendly chats when I was waiting to meet with Jerry, who tended to be tied up with phone calls and late-running meetings. We talked about local events, movies, restaurants, etc. She even told me about a place she was dying to try. I thought she was trying to give me a little "hint, hint", but wasn't sure -- and, in any event, just to make both of us more comfortable, I wanted to wait until my series of meetings with her boss were over before asking her out.

About the time I had my last meeting with Jerry, he told me that Deborah had asked whether I was married. She also told him she thought I was very good-looking.

[Short intermission to allow any ladies who have actually met me to stop laughing.]

Having been given some obvious encouragement, I decided to call this very attractive and personable young lady and ask her out. As I recall, it was a Tuesday afternoon around 4 when I placed the call. I intended to ask whether she would care to try out the previously-mentioned restaurant Thursday night.

The person who answered the phone told me Deborah was on another line and would call me back within a few minutes. When she did so, I was on the phone and my assistant took a message. By the time I returned Deborah's return of my initial call, she had left for the day.

In the meantime, I was an occasional customer of what might be described as an upscale UTR agency. The owner had recently told me about a new girl she described as gorgeous, 32, 5' 6", 120 lbs., brunette, all-natural C-cup, well-dressed, personable, and intelligent. Sounds perfect, I thought. So I made an appointment for 9 p.m. that Tuesday night; the very day I had tried to get in touch with Deborah.

Finally the clock struck 9.

Guess who showed up!

Needless to say, we were both rather surprised. Deborah almost looked like she was ready to faint. After a minute, she asked whether I wanted to go through with the appointment. I said, "Of course!"

I had an absolutely great time and saw her many times over the next year or two.

[travelling_man]

Wow - and just think....if you had answered when she called back that last time you would have gone out with her the next day and probably got for free what you paid for. And you might have still been seeing her many times over the next year or two just for fun because you would have never known what she did and vice versa. How ironic what the difference in just a few minutes can make.

I've had some moments, but nothing that can top that.

[TheGiftedOne]

I had a gal bring a warm Corona to the appointment some years back. She poured it over ice and sipped it the whole appointment. Every time we changed positions she would reach over and take a drink. Guess she was thirsty! OR...she had to drink to be with me...

[filbone]

But remember, getting it for free is a lot more expensive than paying for it.

[Texas Contrarian]

Traveling man,

Yes, that's something I pondered back at the time! In fact, after I posted this on ASPD a few years ago, someone replied more or less exactly as you did. Funny how things work out sometimes. Of course, whether the alternative course would have been (all things considered) better or worse is unknowable. Since I was interested in a "no commitment" relationship anyway, and since escort visits offer the ultimate in "no commitment" relationships, I was happy with the outcome.

Seems that life's a little like sports at times. You know, it's often said that football is a game of inches. Sometimes a last-second game-winning field goal attempt clears the crossbar by inches. Sometimes not. Life, too, can be a "game of inches" -- or minutes, as it were.

I thought that my experience was pretty amazing -- but browsing through the forum devoted to ASPD's legacy, I found this little tidbit, which for sheer "wow factor" would be very hard to top:

[ame="http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=8243"]Another Famous "The Scot" review - One for the ages - ECCIE - Your source for escort reviews[/ame]

Now that's a story for the ages!

Very artfully and imaginatively written, too.

[RealBeer285]

I saw a provider once that had the TV going when I came to the door but after about 2 seconds, it didn't matter. Later though, as she was giving me a wonderful bbbj, the Dell commercial that uses the lolliepop song came on, I could not help myself and started laughing, she looked up wondering wtf. She hadn't noticed the song playing so I had to explain it to her. Ever since then, I would chuckle whenever that commercial would come on.

I looked her up again the other day to schedule with her only to find she has moved to OKC, O well.

Nicole's music is not at all distracting.

[TexTushHog]

I had smoke alarms go off during a session with Caitlyn a few years ago. A Kleenex had been tossed out of the way in a hurry and landed on a candle. Hilarity ensued.

[travelling_man]

Not all that spectacular compared to the story above, but I do remember a time when I was right in the middle of the deed with one of the fine ladies on this board and her electricity went out. It wasn't much thought on my part to decide that I was going to finish first before deciding what to do. After we finished we thought about it for a while and decided that we really didn't need lights for what we needed to do and went another round.

[BigTexnDallas]

I was in the middle of a session with a provider that always kept her TV turned on but muted. You may know who she is by this habit. During the 10PM news, I was shown on TV during an interview. Just as the interview was airing, she got up to get us both a drink. Having noticed the interview, she said "Is that you on the TV?" and not wanting to be outed, I said "NO, He doesn't look anything like me". Her reply was that if he lost enough weight, he and I would look like twins.

That interview was 36 hours old.

[guest071811-3]

A few years back in Austin, I had a guy make an appointment and even over the phone you could tell he was extremely nervous.. well he shows up and knocks on the hotel room door.. and I answered..

He quickly hurried inside and begins looking around right inside the door and behind the door.. i was like "ok this is a little strange"..he said "don't take offense but mind if I look around a minute"..i said "ok i guess so.."

He peeks into the bathroom, quickly yanks the shower curtain back, opens the closet door and looks inside.. all this while i am standing half dressed near the bed. He makes his way over to the window and looks behind the drapes hanging..(yes seriously).. turns and says, "ok i feel better"..

I asked him "what was you exactly looking for?" to which he responded.. "well, i didn't want some pimp or guy waiting on me when i entered, i had heard stories of that happening to guys with ladies alot of times".. i laughed and said "seriously?" "ya that and i wanted to look for LE etc.." i laughed and said ok..well did you search everywhere you wanted and feel safe now? to which he said "ya im good now we can start"

As he undressed and got fully naked he sits down on the bed.. i stood there with a nightie on and said "humm you did forget to check one place".."he looks at me nervously".. humm you forgot to check under the BED!!! I yell out.. he yelps softly and jumps off the bed scurrying around..i busted up laughing and told him "im just fuckin with you dude" relax.. hell my pimp couldn't even make it this time so I have to rob you myself.. to which he only slightly laughed still.. but hell he was making this tooooo easy..

anyways... the session went off without a hitch basically.. but every noise, every squeak..i would with a panicked look on my face ask "what was that? did you hear that" just to watch him tense up and get nervous lol..

and yes he actually did return to see me again and again..amazingly

[Willen]

I closed my car door after arriving for a session and instantly realized that i'd left my keys in the lock. Had to take a cab home to get the spare, and fortunately did so before the SO had returned. Sure didn't help my focus during the session.

[Lauren Lane]

I had one recently. My client called from the front and I gave him the gate code so I knew he was on his way in. Well about 5 min later, there was a knock on my door. I answer and I invite the guest in say hello and hug him. He has a rather shocked look on his face and starts making small talk about my apt, etc. Now, he looks familiar so I am thinking it was someone I saw over the summer so I am just smiling. Finally he looks at me and says "I am "so and so", your neighbor and I just wanted to let you know you left your car lights on. At which point I am sure I have deer in the headlights look, so I say okay thanks and am trying to shuttle him out the door because my client should be knocking ANY second. So I tell the neighbor again thank you and am opening the door and since I hugged him he is wanting to stay. I finally said I am expecting a friend and I have to get ready. To which he replies "Oh, and you though I was your friend. Don't you know what he looks like? Blind date or something?" to which I just nod and nudge him. Of course 5 seconds later client knocks. I open, pull him in and die laughing.

[vnurse]

WOW Lauren! GREAT story! LMAO!

I've had sessions that ended up with lots of laughing but the funniest time I remember was when the table nearly collapsed. I had moved it earlier to vacuum and the locks had come undone. It didn't ACTUALLY collapse but almost...we laughed and laughed!

[bigtom62]

It didn't happen to me, but I remember a story one of our retired and very popular ladies told me.
She was having some construction work done on her house. A few days later the contractor showed up at her incall for a session. Neither knew about the other before that!
bigtom62

[Texas Contrarian]

Originally Posted by Lauren Lane

I had one recently. My client called from the front and I gave him the gate code so I knew he was on his way in. Well about 5 min later, there was a knock on my door. I answer and I invite the guest in say hello and hug him. He has a rather shocked look on his face and starts making small talk about my apt, etc. Now, he looks familiar so I am thinking it was someone I saw over the summer so I am just smiling. Finally he looks at me and says "I am "so and so", your neighbor and I just wanted to let you know you left your car lights on. At which point I am sure I have deer in the headlights look, so I say okay thanks and am trying to shuttle him out the door because my client should be knocking ANY second. So I tell the neighbor again thank you and am opening the door and since I hugged him he is wanting to stay. I finally said I am expecting a friend and I have to get ready. To which he replies "Oh, and you though I was your friend. Don't you know what he looks like? Blind date or something?" to which I just nod and nudge him. Of course 5 seconds later client knocks. I open, pull him in and die laughing.

Lauren, that's a helluva funny story! I'll bet you enjoyed telling it to a few of your hobby friends.

I've had one other experience that involves the intersection of the hobby world and the "civilian" world. It doesn't quite rank with my earlier story, but a couple of providers I've known got a good laugh out of it.

It happened in 1975 when I was working in a downtown Dallas office building. I was 25 at the time, and one day at lunch I struck up a conversation with a very attractive 23-year-old girl who worked in a nearby office. I'll refer to her as "Brenda." We were soon seeing each other a couple of times a week and having some great times. It certainly seemed that Brenda was considerably more sexually sophisticated than most of my college girlfriends had been.

After a couple of weeks or so, it started getting harder and harder to make plans to see her. A couple of times, she canceled virtually at the last minute.

Perhaps sensing that I was about to lose patience with this, Brenda informed me while we were at a restaurant one Friday night that she would like to tell me something. She seemed a little nervous and uncomfortable. She asked whether I was "open-minded." I repled, "Yes, I'm pretty open minded. Please feel comfortable about telling me anything. I think I'm a pretty good listener."

"OK", she said. "I'm kind of embarrassed. But I feel bad about canceling on you with what must have sounded like a lame excuse. I'm all about being open and honest, so I'll tell you the truth. I am, uh, a working girl. Do you know what that means?"

(I haven't heard the term "working girl" lately, but I guess it was in vogue at the time.)

"Yes", I said (guessing correctly what the term "working girl" meant, although I think I had heard it before a few times). "Well, it's a pretty tough economy. Everybody's gotta pay bills. Hell, if I could figure out how to make serious money as a gigolo, I'd be right there with you in the pay-for-play world!"

That seemed to break the ice. We drank, laughed, and had a pretty good dinner. And screwed each other silly later that night!

Then I got a slighly mischievous idea. I said, "Hey...just for fun and for the hell of it...why don't you let me call and book an appointment to see you Tuesday evening." She looked at me with a huge smile. "Seriously? How cool would that be! Just call this number and the guy will describe about 4 different girls. Tell him you want to see the 5' 7" brunette. That's me! How funny would it be if he knew the real story!!??

I did just that, and we were laughing almost the whole time. And the sex was incredible -- perhaps the sheer "unusualness" of the situation was an effective excitement-booster.

We continued to see each other for about another year, usually non-P4P, but occasionally as "hobbyist & provider."

A pretty unusual occurrence, I suppose. My first experience with an outcall escort was, although by design, with a woman I had started dating in the civilian world!