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chuckinolathe · 02-01-2013, 04:48 AM

So, this question is for the lovely providers out there. How common is it for providers and clients to get romantically involved with each other?

bp6570 · 02-01-2013, 07:24 AM

Never happened to me but have heard stories of when it does happen. So good & some not ending well.

SexyKelly316 · 02-01-2013, 07:49 AM

i guess it could happen it all depends on there attraction to each other

Allie_Kat · 02-01-2013, 08:31 AM

I have a friend who left the business because she started dating a client. They had a pretty good relationship for about 3 yrs or so before they grew apart, but no hard feelings between them for it. I think it just depends on who the individuals are and I think it happens more than we know.

SinsOfTheFlesh · 02-01-2013, 08:34 AM

It does happen. We are human after all and have feelings. This profession is often compared to other professions when subjects like professionalism and rates are discussed. In spite of the fact that this is a business, it is still a business unlike any other. The services provided are far more personal and intimate than your hairdresser or your accountant. Well, at least I hope they are.

Given the intimate nature of this occupation, it is inevitable that emotions get involved from time to time. How the two people involved handle their feelings is what matters most. Dating in the hobby has a tendency go sideways, and when it goes sideways, it usually goes REALLY sideways. On the other hand, there are very rare success stories of relationships that began as client/provider and blossomed into serious lasing relationships.

In the time that I've been doing this, there have been two occasions where a client became more than a client. In the first situation, there was never any expectation that a serious relationship would develop, but we had a fling that stretched out over several years and I still miss the hell out of him sometimes. The second situation, I gave serious consideration to retiring. Fortunately, I decided we needed to date longer before I made any drastic changes. Thank goodness or I'd have been on the list of the "I"m retiring, surprise I'm not" girls, because in the end it didn't work out. LOL

But here is the point I can't stress enough - don't go looking for it. If you are asking questions about romance, I hope that is not an indication that you already have your next ex-girlfriend in mind. Our job is to create the fantasy that you are the king of the world, to pamper you and make you feel as though you are the only guy on the planet - well, for an hour. If we are good at what we do, then it can be easy to mistake doing our job for our emotions.

Here is the litmus test. You will know she is genuinely interested in you outside the hobby when she stops taking your money. Real girlfriends don't hand their boyfriends a bill. In the two situations I mentioned above, once we progressed beyond provider/client, I never took another penny from either of them. Not for gas money, nor to top off a phone card, or anything else. The hobby is a need based relationship, hence money is involved. Relationships are and should be emotion based. Be careful not to confuse the two.

KCQuestor · 02-01-2013, 02:13 PM

It's been known to happen.

chuckinolathe · 02-01-2013, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

It does happen. We are human after all and have feelings. This profession is often compared to other professions when subjects like professionalism and rates are discussed. In spite of the fact that this is a business, it is still a business unlike any other. The services provided are far more personal and intimate than your hairdresser or your accountant. Well, at least I hope they are.

Given the intimate nature of this occupation, it is inevitable that emotions get involved from time to time. How the two people involved handle their feelings is what matters most. Dating in the hobby has a tendency go sideways, and when it goes sideways, it usually goes REALLY sideways. On the other hand, there are very rare success stories of relationships that began as client/provider and blossomed into serious lasing relationships.

In the time that I've been doing this, there have been two occasions where a client became more than a client. In the first situation, there was never any expectation that a serious relationship would develop, but we had a fling that stretched out over several years and I still miss the hell out of him sometimes. The second situation, I gave serious consideration to retiring. Fortunately, I decided we needed to date longer before I made any drastic changes. Thank goodness or I'd have been on the list of the "I"m retiring, surprise I'm not" girls, because in the end it didn't work out. LOL

But here is the point I can't stress enough - don't go looking for it. If you are asking questions about romance, I hope that is not an indication that you already have your next ex-girlfriend in mind. Our job is to create the fantasy that you are the king of the world, to pamper you and make you feel as though you are the only guy on the planet - well, for an hour. If we are good at what we do, then it can be easy to mistake doing our job for our emotions.

Here is the litmus test. You will know she is genuinely interested in you outside the hobby when she stops taking your money. Real girlfriends don't hand their boyfriends a bill. In the two situations I mentioned above, once we progressed beyond provider/client, I never took another penny from either of them. Not for gas money, nor to top off a phone card, or anything else. The hobby is a need based relationship, hence money is involved. Relationships are and should be emotion based. Be careful not to confuse the two.

SOTF
Thanks for the great insight and advice

bigryan222 · 02-01-2013, 07:57 PM

I had seen one girl a few times out of the hobby for personal fun and another girl offer it. There has been a time or two when I wonder what would happen with the girl if we met a different way also since we clicked rather well.

dougluvsgolf · 02-02-2013, 09:57 AM

It happened to me about 27 years ago when I was single and not an old man like I am now. LOL She ended up moving in with me for about 3 years but it ended after that. It was pretty much a sexual thing to be honest and those types of relationships just only last so long. Now I am old and left only with memories!

i'va biggen · 02-02-2013, 10:12 AM

I would love it so I could get a freeby...

jaybee · 02-02-2013, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by i'va biggen

I would love it so I could get a freeby...

there is no such thing as a freeby

pay as you go and you never owe

Guest030817 · 02-03-2013, 02:55 AM

I'm sure that there are situations that have worked.
I just don't know of any of them.
I'm going with "trainwreck."

i'va biggen · 02-03-2013, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaybee

there is no such thing as a freeby

pay as you go and you never owe

Dinner and a movie + hours of conversation as opposed to $200=$300 a pop is like a freeby.

Guest030817 · 02-03-2013, 12:05 PM

Dinner and a movie + hours of convo gets you a girlfriend.
An emotional involvement that many hobbyists, particularly
the married ones don't want.

chuckinolathe · 02-04-2013, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari816

Dinner and a movie + hours of convo gets you a girlfriend.
An emotional involvement that many hobbyists, particularly
the married ones don't want.

I hear what you are saying, but, sometimes that is exactly what they want. The sexual part at that point is NOT the only thing anymore.