Non-traditional Duty of care

[Camille]

One of the things that startled me most when I first became an escort was the duty of care that clients extended. I should preface that comment by saying I had no knowledge of this industry AT ALL before I entered it and didnt know anyone that did. I think at the most I expected that the duty of care would extend to my health, safety and the envelope.

I've met some fantastic men in this business who have gone above and beyond anything I ever would have thought imaginable...from smaller but thoughtful things like calling me on my graduation day to wish me congratulations, to opening avenues of opportunity career wise. I sometimes wonder if the scewed opinion the larger general public has about this world is because they just assume that the escort/client world is one where two parties just take advantage of one another and would never extend themselves to having each others interests at heart...however small...in any way. I don't think it crosses their mind that two people in such a situation might actually (genuinely) enjoy each other. Sometimes, people have real trouble accepting that two parties can meet in unconventional circumstances and have a healthy relationship. Is society that pessismistic about uncoventionality and non traditional methods in general (not just related to escorting) that they won't even consider the benefits? If so, we are going to have a hard time being open minded enough to time evolve as a World.....

C

[catnipdipper]

It is just one of the good human things when people are kind, polite, caring and concerned about another after an intimate experience.

[Rudyard K]

At the end of the day...we are still all human.

In this Demi-world, the women (in general) "act" caring, intimate, affectionate, etc. towards the men. While that may all start as an "act", it is just human nature that acting a certain way...over and over...day after day...month after month...then, IMHO, the woman will find that she actually becomes more caring, intimate, affectionate, etc. It is my opinion that if women in the non-demi-world "acted" in a simlar manner day after day, they would also find that they actually became such.

Likewise for the guys (in general), they tend to "act" more chivalrous towards the gals that treat them in such a manner. As such, they actually become more chivalrous towards their desried. It is also my opinion, that if women in the non-demi-world treated their men in such manner, they would find their men being more chivalrous towards them.

Women really do rule the world. If the world is not as they want it?...they simply need look in the mirror. Us guys are pretty easy...lol. For the most part, we'll follow your lead.

[Camille]

I guess I didn't communicate clearly what my point was.
I was trying to say that not all unconventional relationships (and this includes between parties such as two countries/2 companies etc) are an unhealthy thing. Is society, in general, as unaccepting about those types of unconventionality or is it just in our personal lives that we are expected to be much more traditional? If if it a general expectancy, that was what prompted my comment about a World struggling to evolve.....

C

ugh. I cant believe I spelled "skewed" incorrectly either. Screw it, it's Friday.

[..]

LEONATO

Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince
do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.

BEATRICE

The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be
not wooed in good time: if the prince be too
important, tell him there is measure in every thing
and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero:
wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig,
a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot
and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as
fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a
measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes
repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the
cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

LEONATO

Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.

[TexTushHog]

Speaking of Much Ado About Nothing, I trust that you've seen Kenneth Branagh's film adaptation, ..? If not, you must see it. One of, if not the best, movie adaptation I've ever seen of one of the Bard's plays. Emma Thompson is amazing as Beatrice.

[ClairJordan]

It takes two, my dear Camille, and what you give comes back to you. You obviously extend yourself for the people in your world(s), and so are deserving of their care and concerns.

[rednecksatyr]

I can say without reservation that two very valued female friends were discovered by client / provider meetings initially. We now enjoy good dining, conversation, IM,and email.

The BCD sessions are infrequent and intense but not necessary to sustain our friendship.

I would be interested to know from both ladies and men if this happens often in our unique world.

[Roark]

It has always been more interesting living on the fringes. Unconventionality is the home to creativity. Everything else is boring. If this forum became conventional, I wouldn't be reading it.

[Sisyphus]

I tried to respond to this when I first saw it last night. I quickly arrived at the conclusion that I was too tired...too drunk...lol...or both!!

But, I found it interesting (thanks for being so thought-provoking, Miss C-!! ) so I'll try again.

I think what I was getting so hung up on was the turn of the phrase, "duty of care"... When I hear it, I'm conditioned to think negligence from tort law. As in, was there a duty of care? What was the duty of care? Was that duty breeched?

I thinck this is coming from the opposite direction...as in you're amazed at the level of genuine concern for your well being that you've experienced from gents you expected to be clients...and nothing more. Much more concern than is typically expressed between folk similarly positioned - if not more intimately positioned! - in the "real" world. Do I have that right?

If so, then....

Originally Posted by Camille

I sometimes wonder if the scewed opinion the larger general public has about this world is because they just assume that the escort/client world is one where two parties just take advantage of one another and would never extend themselves to having each others interests at heart...however small...in any way. I don't think it crosses their mind that two people in such a situation might actually (genuinely) enjoy each other. Sometimes, people have real trouble accepting that two parties can meet in unconventional circumstances and have a healthy relationship. Is society that pessismistic about uncoventionality and non traditional methods in general (not just related to escorting) that they won't even consider the benefits? If so, we are going to have a hard time being open minded enough to time evolve as a World.....

C

There's probably a great deal of capital-T truth in your wonderings. There's been a great deal of discussion about generalizations around these parts lately...

This is no different. When one is too pressed for time...or just too intellectually lazy to really figure something out before arriving at a conclusion about it, they tend to judge on the most readily accessible information....in the most superficial of terms. That "information" may...or MAY not be accurate.

I can't recall if I've told this story before. If I'm repeating myself, my apologies to anyone who has to sit through the retelling...

I was visiting my (much older) brother & his family for some holiday or other years ago. At the time, his children (1 boy & 1 girl) were in their late teens or early 20s at the time. Somehow, the subject of societal conventions in terms of dress & deportment in the workplace - or in the seeking of employment - came up. The younger child made a wonderfully articulate & impassioned plea/lament at the the ridiculousness & unfairness of it all for a good 10 minutes or so. How she dresses & her outside interests should have no bearing on whether or not she's the best person for a job or advancement, etc. Just brilliant.

Her older brother listened & then came back with an even more brilliant response...perhaps the best encapsulation of "go along to get along" that I've ever heard,

"Because the rest of the world either doesn't have the time - or won't take the time - to get to know you. What they see of you is all they may ever know. So, you dress & act to send the message that you're what they need to get the job done well."

I think that's kind of how the "rest of the world" evaluates this. Based on what they see/hear presented to them about what this is...and isn't.

Our cross to bear....probably for a good long time...

Originally Posted by Camille

I guess I didn't communicate clearly what my point was.
I was trying to say that not all unconventional relationships (and this includes between parties such as two countries/2 companies etc) are an unhealthy thing. Is society, in general, as unaccepting about those types of unconventionality or is it just in our personal lives that we are expected to be much more traditional? If if it a general expectancy, that was what prompted my comment about a World struggling to evolve.....

C

ugh. I cant believe I spelled "skewed" incorrectly either. Screw it, it's Friday.

Maybe...maybe not. Time will tell. I think the capital-W world has always evolved...and will continue to evolve. Just not as rapidly as some of us would like!

In the meantime....I'd say appreciate & treasure the great friendships & relationships that have arisen as a result of this. I know I do!!

Don't worry about what the rest of the World thincks....

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by rednecksatyr

I would be interested to know from both ladies and men if this happens often in our unique world.

I have been offered to call or talk to a few who we know we may never meet but have enjoyed each others posts here and indeed have become internet friends. Another has said "let's do lunch" with no pressure for client/provider environment.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by rednecksatyr

I would be interested to know from both ladies and men if this happens often in our unique world.

Certainly happens on occasion. I have had it happen at least twice.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by rednecksatyr

I would be interested to know from both ladies and men if this happens often in our unique world.

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Certainly happens on occasion.

Agreed. I wouldn't say "often"...but it happens.

[Tiffani Jameson]

I'm surprised by this too, Camille. Funny thing is, I just blogged about this recently. I have the nicest group of friends a girl could ask for in any arena. In this world of insecurities, and prejudices, and people looking for someone to take them out on, it's good to know that there are some that can consider the humanity in all people, and treat them accordingly.

[abdclub]

I can honestly say that I have at least 3 ladies who I consider friends and could go to dinner/lunch with (even without BCD), whom I would never have met without this kind of forum.

abdclub