Jealousy

[Alex Lieberman]

I've just experienced my first fight with a jealous provider. She tried to sabotage a week trip to the Bahamas with a client of mine. She had an appt with the client that I am planning to go away with and when she heard that he invited me on the trip she began to bad mouth me......trying to get the trip for herself.

Have you ever experienced a situation like this and if so how did you handle it?

Hobbyists have you ever been caught in the middle of a situation like this?

Alex

[atlcomedy]

Alex, if you are a real provider here in Atlanta why don't you identify yourself?

[Alex Lieberman]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Alex, if you are a real provider here in Atlanta why don't you identify yourself?

Oy...

Hey ATL
I get asked this question A LOT!!! So let me try this....

Put yourself in my heels. You're a provider who wants/needs to write a blog about her true feelings about the hobby and all of the adventures that happens to her... funny, nasty, touching, whatever.

You have two choices...

1) Write something entertaining, funny, maybe poignant... but ultimately not true. You do this to engage the people reading it.

2) You write something truthful, warts and all. You do this because you need to say these things, and maybe it's more about your writing to express yourself and deal with life and the hobby in general than it is about entertaining people.

If you follow #1, no problem, you can use your stage name and everything's cool.

But if you go with option 2, how do you DARE use your "real" name and immediately lose business because the hobbyists now consider you a snarky bitch that's going to call them out the second she has a chance.

Think about it... providers take stage names to protect their true identity so it doesn't affect their personal lives. I'm just taking it one more level. I'm using a stage-stage name to protect my livelihood.

I've thought about talking to some ATL providers (many of whom I know) to "vouch" for me, even if just with the mods. But I really don't want to take any chances. If there was a way I could prove I was a provider, other than giving my name or having other providers reading my blog and saying "yep, this could only be written by a provider", I would, believe me.

I know this isn't much, but I hope you understand the position I'm in!

Alex

[Laurentius]

I can't answer for Ms. Lieberman; but if you read her blog carefully, you'll see that she has a penchant for using a rather odd form of humor to demean some portion of her client base.

Obviously, this is incompatible with identifying herself as she would clearly lose the $income$ from the people she demeans.

Oddly enough, I support her right to do this. That is, I support her right to demean her clients in such a way that they cannot identify her and thus continue to provide money to a woman who holds them in disdain.

This is par for the course for business generally. Many business entities hold their customers in low regard.

As but one example, I was recently looking at some meat in the supermarket; in which a package indicated with an asterisk that the meat was "Antibiotic Free*." The asterisked explanation was in tiny 4-point type and stated that USDA regulations prohibited adding antibiotics to the meat after it was killed. In other words, the animal was raised with a constant input of antibiotics in its feed, but sold as "Antibiotic free*" because none had been added AFTER it was killed.

Any business entity that would do something like that CLEARLY holds its customers in very low regard indeed.

But similar lies-that-are-not-lies-because-there-is-a-disclaimer-in-four-point-type are told by many many business entities. Ethically, they are lying. Legally, they are not.

At least Ms. Lieberman is speaking her mind far more openly than these other corporations; and is not across-the-board condemning her clients. Her equivalent of the asterisked disclaimer is in 10-point type for anyone to see.

Some of the data is useful, some not. But if she couldn't be anonymous, it wouldn't be there.

I will admit to finding some of her views repellent; but I support her right to put them out there, and to do so anonymously. In various realms, the Supreme Court has ruled that anonymity is an important aspect of free speech as a method of preventing adverse retaliation that would stymie the speech and effectively act as censorship.

Interestingly, as I have seen her post this factoid elsewhere, she claims to be entertaining offers for a book. So I would not be surprised to discover that the answers to the various questions she posts are being used as data for a book she is writing.

I am NOT criticizing her for this. I write books about all kinds of stuff; and when I do, I bring everything in my knowledge and experience to bear; as should she. But one should consider when answering her posts that the data provided could be used as fodder for her book; and answer in a fashion that will put the best possible light on hobbyists and providers unless you want to see the worst of the bad staring you in the face one day at the book store.

Personally, I am 100% certain I have never seen Ms. Lieberman. Nor would I. But that's just me. Other guys, I am sure, don't care. When the measure of performance is "Is she a great actress giving me an orgasm?" she will always have plenty of clients despite the fact I wouldn't be one of them because I grade performance quite differently.

Now, to answer her question: yes, once I was put in such a position. My solution, for the near term, was to see neither while they sorted out their problems but warn the first lady that the second was trying to cause her problems.

As providers often have "back stories" and histories with each other of which I am unaware; and my lack of knowledge of the particulars can make it very difficult to make a properly ethical decision within the context of such issues; my response is to simply leave them to their devices.

Furthermore, I have a responsibility to de-escalate. I am not about to involve myself in escalating something I do not understand when the adverse consequences could be disproportionate to the dispute.

The only exception I would make to this is a couple of providers I consider friends and frankly think walk on water. Any person I would consider a friend is likely an exemplary human being in many respects; so in those cases I would see the friend and the other person could take a flying leap.

I understand the business is competitive. And since people will literally bump other people off for insurance money from time to time; the fact that things may get nasty is far from surprising. In fact, I am pleased that things don't get a lot more nasty than they do. It is a testament to the overall professionalism of the profession, and an impressive positive testament at that.

[charlestudor2005]

I'm not sure I agree with you about this. Especially if this provider also has a "provider's" handle on ECCIE. From the ECCIE Rules:

#18 - Multiple handles are not permitted, unless in certain circumstances are expressly approved by staff in advance on a case-by-case basis. Action will be taken in cases where staff finds multiple handles are being used for deceptive reasons, to carry out an agenda (promotion or trashing of another), or to return to the board following a previous suspension or ban.

And, as I understand it, the staff normally does it for safety reasons, not as an accommodation to someone wanting to appear on the board as some other personality.

[Katy Alexander]

Alex ,you could have just as easily posted on eccie under your escort name, and ad.That way no one has to connect you to your blog.I do believe that you can be honest in both a blog, and on sites like this about who you are, and what you think without the fear of losing too much business. You just need to respect the privacy, and feelings of the people who are in this case paying your bills. But there are still plenty of things related to our business that you can write about.

You are a very talented writer, and I do enjoy reading your blog sometimes, but I do think that if you are an escort you may be bending the truth a bit to keep things more interesting.Either that or my experiences as an escort are just really pleasant ,yet boring compared to yours lol.

[Guest053011]

I don't know whether you're real or not. I do believe one should never say things they would not be willing to stand behind.

Yes, I've heard many women badmouthed. It's safe to assume that gentlemen are big boys with wisdom, and self awareness. They can make their own decisions and I would trust they would inform me in due time.

As it turns out gentlemen seem to find that sort of behavior unattractive, and I've never known one to change his plans based on the bad behavior of another lady.

It's best to ignore the situation, as it's dramatic enough, and not feed the fire. Being able to provide peace and relaxation will win at the end of the day.

[Mokoa]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I'm not sure I agree with you about this. Especially if this provider also has a "provider's" handle on ECCIE. And, as I understand it, the staff normally does it for safety reasons, not as an accommodation to someone wanting to appear on the board as some other personality.

She is only using one handle here. So she is not violating that rule. What is done on other places is beyond the purview of this site and its staff.

[discreetgent]

Well, there is a background to ATL's post.

Back in ASPD days there was a gal who showed up - SensualBrett shortly followed by her sister who Brett brought into the biz. Brett started out on her own then had some other gals in a loose association with the requisite webpage and blog. Once her sister joined in it became quite the fascinating story day after day about what had transpired the night before. But ...... no one seemed to have ever been able to book either of them, there seemed to always be a excuse given to cancel. Some began to question if one person had two handles on ASPD and then whether Brett was really a provider. Shortly after these questions started to bubble Brett disappeared, website and all, and then a bit later so did her sister. So, there is a reason that folks here will be skeptical.

OTOH Alex's blog does seem more plausible then Brett's did.

However, anonymity can be tricky; write enough - even if some if it is changed to protect the innocent lol - and, if it is legit, someone will probably figure out who the blogger is.

[Alex Lieberman]

Becky,

Thank you so much. You have a point about posting questions under my "real" provider name. I will take that into consideration. While I am snarky in my blog and hard on some people I think I am hardest on myself. Thanks again for your comment!!!!!!

[awl4knot]

I was all in for Brett and her randy, guilt-ridden sister but after she/they were "exposed" I thought it was a great con artfully done. They were nasty but well-spoken girls.

I haven't paid much mind about Alex, but now that there has been a dust up that will change. A provider with a nom de plume mining for material in Atlanta strikes a chord.

Keep it up Alex. I just became a fan.

BTW, do you really want a trip with a blabbermouth who tells other ladies about his plans with you? Very poor form and judgment on his part.

[Sa_artman]

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!
Dorothy: [Dorothy and friends, all together] We want to see the Wizard!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [gasps] The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!
Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, you're wasting my time!

---------------------------------------------------------------
Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that (wo)man behind the curtain.

...just sayin...careful, or we'll all end up on wikileaks

[Alex Lieberman]

Originally Posted by Sa_artman

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!
Dorothy: [Dorothy and friends, all together] We want to see the Wizard!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [gasps] The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!
Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, you're wasting my time!

---------------------------------------------------------------
Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that (wo)man behind the curtain.

...just sayin...careful, or we'll all end up on wikileaks

... here's your sign...
-Bill Engvall

Seriously, in spite of We will not have that kind of uncivility in this forum. Please remember that! JB obsession with proving I'm not for real...

Have any of the ladies here ever experienced this kind of sabotage (or have you gentleman been caught in the middle of it)?? Can there be true friendship among providers vying for the same clients?

Alex

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

However, anonymity can be tricky; write enough - even if some if it is changed to protect the innocent lol - and, if it is legit, someone will probably figure out who the blogger is.

+1

[Lovely Victoria]

Yes, I've also experienced it. I found it best - for me - to ignore; take the high road, if you will. At the end of the day, a trip to an exotic place, or the income for that matter, isn't worth the aggravation.

On the topic of anonymity - I don't recall people having issues with Olympia, the postmodern coutersan, posting under her nom the plume. I do miss her blog.