A Change in the Hobby

[sadie]

I have been wanting to address this for awhile now. In the past year there has been an obvious influx of providers from backpage and craigslist. This is in NO way to insult anyone from there like Lily,Kyla,GND,Dreams ect.!! I have not met any of you, and many seem to be great girls. I know the hobbyist vary GREATLY on where they seek information and shop.

My biggest concern with those sites was lack of verified information about the ladies, and lack of screening implemented. If "Joe Smo"called and wanted an appointment.. how else could you tell that he was not a psycho killer other than a back ground check or his id matched? Atleast when I can check their personal info/verify with other providers of their conduct, and hobby/board history I can feel better to a certain degree.

In the past, building a good, quality reputation,and getting a base of positive review history was the best avenue to achieve a prosperous career in the hobby via sites as this. Now it seems the value of research has changed in the rules... and I would like your imput. *Discloser I do not want a pissing contest or drama. *

[Lily Blair]

Originally Posted by sadie

In the past, building a good, quality reputation,and getting a base of positive review history was the best avenue to achieve a prosperous career in the hobby via sites as this. Now it seems the value of research has changed in the rules...

I'm pretty certain that this is still the case. I know I didn't start to see success until I started building a base of good reviews. Are you saying that there are ladies out there who are prospering in the career without reviews?

[sadie]

Lily, mainstream reviews of bp girls were less often a few years ago. It was uncommon for girls that had ads on backpage/craigslist to include.."here are my reviews from ASPD,TER, ect." I am not saying others are prospering from no reviews....saying that some are prospering from "any" reviews.

[Guest032112]

Originally Posted by sadie

. . . In the past, building a good, quality reputation,and getting a base of positive review history was the best avenue to achieve a prosperous career in the hobby via sites as this. Now it seems the value of research has changed in the rules... and I would like your imput. *Discloser I do not want a pissing contest or drama. *

Sadie, you know my feelings about change. We're going to have it whether we like it or not. Sometimes its a matter of being comfortable with it.

You can only imagine how a committed "reseacher" like me felt coming back after more than a two year vacation from the hobby world. There was a tremendous amount of change.

• just like retail, the attitude of those posting seemed to be more hostile
• there was a lack of valid information about new providers - reviews were incomplete
• there was an influx of newbies who became infatuated with their latest ATF provider
• much of the new talent was posting on bp rather than one of the traditional channels
• all of the above almost led one to believe he was on his own or had to TOFTT to discover new legitimate providers

Do I believe it has changed the value of research. No, not at all. Do I believe there obviously must be a different market segment of hobbiest that subscribe to bp or cl because they don't know any better. Obviously or the list of posting wouldn't continue.

From talking to some of the newer providers, I was appalled at the lack of screening, but then again that was just an unfamiliarity with standard safe play practices.

In the end, it's still important for everyone to understand and know their preferences - provider and hobbiest. And research is still important to verify both.

BTW, I gave my that ax murderer hobby years ago . . .

[Lily Blair]

Hmmm, I don't like where this is going Sadie, I'm sure you don't mean anything by it, but it seems there is maybe a feeling of disdain for "bp girls". What so many people who have been in the hobby for a long time don't realize is that everyone has to start somewhere.

When I started, I admit that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I put an ad up on cl because I had read an article years ago about how cl was providing a "safe haven" for prostitutes and make the practice both safer for women and more difficult for law enforcement to control. So naturally, that sounded to me like a good place to start. Where else would I have started? The newspaper? Down on Roosevelt? I didn't know about ASPD, TER, ECCIE, etc. I didn't know that there existed a whole community of people on the internet who talked about all this and who reviewed the service of ladies in the business. I think the first time someone asked me if I had any reviews I said, "What do you mean? I guess I could have one of my clients write an email saying that I'm not the police." I had no idea what he was talking about. He acted like I was being evasive and a smartass and I thought he was nuts and so I hung up on him. My apologies to whomever that was But how was I supposed to know? There's no handbook mailed to you when you first start.

Luckily someone took a chance one day--someone who is now an active hobbyist himself. He gave me my first review and my phone wouldn't stop ringing after that. I was amazed and totally baffled. But I'm sure that someone had to do the same for you when you started. You don't start this career with reviews already in place in all the right spots. People may not have started on bp or cl back then, but they do now because that's the more mainstream forum for advertising. I don't know what it was back then or how ladies got started in this business. I just know how I fumbled my way through until I got it all figured out. But that doesn't make me any less legitimate as a provider now. I've worked to build up a good reputation as well--one where I truly believe that providing a good service is the only way for this career to pay off. There was only one "veteran" lady who ever reached out to me to teach me how to screen and to check on me to make sure I was doing alright. No one else ever bothered.

So honestly--how was I supposed to know? Where should I have started and where is the notice out there telling me so?

[Miss Dreams]

Well my reason for doing it is... I always have. lol I have my own style of doin things and I like to post my reviews in my ad's because that is a way for me to not have to explain that I am legit... it's a given... only a dumbass wouldn't know I was legit. Also it show's my activities without me having to say anything more than I am GFE. Plus, I am very proud of my reviews, I have worked my lil booty to get them!! Also, everyone does their own thing... now as to why the other girls have started to do the same... I have no idea... guess they will explain too.

[sadie]

Thanks for your imput BB. No Lily, I do not want you to feel that way. My intention is to address the change, and what that now means for sites such as this AND bp/craigslists. You are absolutely correct..we all start out somewhere,and mine was with an agency for two months. (some of you old dawgs may recall) I choose that route due to concerns of not being able to properly screen complete strangers. It served me well while learning the ropes indeed.

I am wondering what this means for places like backpage now? If girls that advertise here and (screen) do you always require the same screening now there?? I know I have more than a few men (previously only knowing bp/craigslist) stumble across ASPD,contact me,and return an email of what the heck was a provider reference?!

Just sorting out the changes so it benefits all...

[Guest032514-1]

Not sure exactly what you're asking? Yes, all the CL in the news drew a lot of people to CL and Backpage. I don't advertise on CL and my ads on BP are the same as any ad I post. I screen the same no matter where I'm contacted from.

BTW - my phone number is out there somewhere. "On the internet" is the answer I always get. If any of you guys find my number, would you kindly let me know what site it's posted on?

[Guest032112]

Originally Posted by Blond_Lily

Hmmm, I don't like where this is going Sadie, I'm sure you don't mean anything by it, but it seems there is maybe a feeling of disdain for "bp girls". What so many people who have been in the hobby for a long time don't realize is that everyone has to start somewhere. . .

I think the real issue is how we all deal with change, Lilly. In my consulting practice, we do a seminar for clients and their employees on dealing with change. Change is difficult because its different and we're comfortable with the way things are.

Miss Dreams just illustrated above what I described "Well my reason for doing it is... I always have."

It appears to me that Sadie's trying to deal with the change and open up the community's arms to all. But there are some rules that each provider has to establish and that's the policies by which you run your business.

One issue that I see that needs to be addressed (as evidenced by some mean spirited reaction to various threads) is the matter of civility. The internet has facilitated the hobby in many ways and at the same time has created a cloak of anonimity for people.

[charlestudor2005]

Early in my hobbying, I chose a CL girl. Worst experience in the hobby, and would never do it again.

Be assured, I am not saying I would never see a lady who advertised on CL/BP. On the contrary, if I can confirm that a lady is verified, then I will see her, and have done so. But I only pick ladies that have either reviews on valid review sites or their own websites or P411 Page.

To me, it's a matter of checking the appropriate boxes:

1. If only a BP/CL ad, then "No."
2. If BP/CL ad, plus P411, then yes.
3. If BP/CL ad plus reviews on reputable review site, then yes.
4. If CL/BP ad plus P411 Page, Plus reviews on valid review site, then Hell, Yes.

Ladies, you don't think of men as doing any screening, but this is how I screen. There is also some fine tuning to be done (i.e. what's on the menu, looks, cost of companionship). But it is a screening process. Similar to yours, but having more facets. You (I think) mostly want to know if a guy is a valid monger. We guys want to know if you provide the relaxation for which we are looking.

[Girl Nexxxt Door]

I agree with Lily--everyone has to start somewhere. I was beyond clueless when I started...in fact, I started on CL casual encounters posing as a girl who was just looking for a "hook-up" rather than offering escorting services. Why? Because I was intimidated by the whole thing, and my lack of knowledge and confidence made me apprehensive to be "official." When I got comfortable with the do's & dont's...I then made the (huge, to me at the time) leap to official Escort ad postings.

My second client told me about ASPD. I started to read, and began a more detailed learning process that has brought me to where I am now; comfortable and somewhat established...but still learning and adapting every day.

I still advertise on backpage. I love the creativity BP allows me for my ads; slideshows, graphics. The main reason I advertise there, though, is because BP/CL allows me the opprtunity to reach out to a new market sector--the hobbiests in the making. I have brought fresh blood to ASPD & Eccie. Every client that sees me also goes on to see other providers and become an active part of our beloved hobbying community--how can that be a bad thing? I know in the past couple of months, there have been several old-school providers that have called me for a reference on someone that had never done this before they met me! I think thanks are in order here, not resentment or disdain.

I was the first BP/CL girl that I know of to post reviews in her ads. Like Dreams said, we have worked hard & provided excellent service to earn these--& they are a testament to our worth as a provider. They also allow the beginner hobbiests to make a better informed decision; & ultimately avoid detrimental situations with con artists & scammers.

I have implemented traditional screening techniques whenever possible. However, everyone has to start somewhere--including hobbiests. I have other ways to verify that a potential client is not LE, other than provider references. If I feel that person has verified beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are not--then they have ad much a right to play as anyone else. & without a provider such as myself, other girls...even more established ones...wouldn't have any new clients.

There is one thing that is guaranteed in this world--change. You can either adapt and survive, or not. Competition is a good thing, and so is change. It keeps everyone accountable. Old school providers that charge $$$$$$ may be feeling a little pinch by the influx of high quality new girls that only charge $$50, and I guess that is expected. But we are talking about capitalism & competition--the way of life in the U.S.A. In the end, it benefits the hobbyist and the community. More competition=more reasonable pricing and better accountability for quality of services.

[sadie]

Originally Posted by Girl Nexxxt Door

& without a provider such as myself, other girls...even more established ones...wouldn't have any new clients.

I completely disagree with you on that one. New "blood" continously enters the hobby regardless if you were there or not. Also NOT all men start out hobbying on bp/cl. I have some clients I've seen for years, and a steady influx of new ones as well.

My main issue is SCREENING. In the past I have NEVER accepted bp/cl provider references. (and I know I'm not the only one) Before recently those sites WERE considered less desirable and SAFE. If I am going to now accept the new girls references I want to know that you are SCREENING.(The new guys that have no clue about that process better be ready to give out some personal info.) I know everyone has not by fact that my clients have told me.

If YOU are NOT SCREENING than puts ME in jepardy.

[jaxar]

I agree with Dana, you have to start somewhere. It is a catch22, which came first, the chicken or the egg? My hobby career started with a girl from CL. I too knew nothing about what I was getting into. Her ad had no links nor did it mention anything about reviews. I had never heard of ASPD, ECCIE, or any other review boards, and did not know BP even existed. But I did know how to Google a phone number and this girl had a out of state phone number that also showed up on BP for Las Vegas. Her BP ad did have a link to her web site which then had links to some review sites. Long story short I ended up calling her and having a great night. I then found my way to Little Rocks BP and the lovely ladies there. CL/BP is good for beginners who just dont know where else to look. I also agree with you Sadie, this girl really didn't screen me other than just ask me if I was LE.

[charlestudor2005]

It seems to me these are two different issues.

Issue #1 is how a hobbyist starts. I know I started with a well reviewed lady who was newbie friendly. If there were none of these around, no hobbyist would be able to get started.

Issue #2 is whether to not a lady accepts screening from a BP/CL poster. My suggestion is to do what I do. I don't see a BP/CL lady unless I can see that she is verified either on P411, or any of the valid review sites. That would whittle down the providers on BP/CL quite a bit, but still accept references from the verified providers that screen there like Dreams, Dana or Lily.

Just my .02.

[Girl Nexxxt Door]

Originally Posted by sadie

I completely disagree with you on that one. New "blood" continously enters the hobby regardless if you were there or not. Also NOT all men start out hobbying on bp/cl. I have some clients I've seen for years, and a steady influx of new ones as well.

I didn't just mean me; I meant providers like me...who are 'newbie friendly.'

I think that most providers screen; some are just more thorough than others. The only way to get familiar and comfortable with a provider and her screening practices is to get somewhat friendly/familiar with her and develop a repoire. I've taken the liberty of doing exactly that with Lily, Sydney, Robynn, Kyla, Milena, Alexis...and have made some wonderful new friends in the process! & sorry if I've left anyone out...there's so many wonderful new girls, sometimes it's hard to keep up!