Oh my. Congratulations! You boys have just offered yourselves up as revenge fodder to every provider with a grudge or annoyance against a hobbyist, ever. So, thanks for that! Personally, I plan to put you through a special level of hell. It will start with useless, uninformative and slightly insulting texting at 1-4am consisting of astounding eloquence equal to "hi sexxxy! U avail 2nite? Btw, nice azz!" Expect to receive about 3 follow-up texts over the next 10 minutes letting you know that I'm really looking forward to hearing back from you, and I
really need some company tonight so get back to me ASAP! Should you be foolish enough to respond, I will then berate you with gross and insulting compliments, special requests to shove odd foreign objects in various orifices, demand a discount, ignore your repeated requests for references (I have
board presence, after all. Shouldn't that be enough?), ask you repeatedly exactly what you plan to do to me, and eventually cave and send you 1 reference that I saw 3 years ago. If you've made it this far, I will then schedule an appointment with you, continue to berate you with texts, pictures of a giant cock (what? you guys don't like that? huh... go figure), and eventually NCNS you. I will apologize profusely the next day, I was so excited to see you that I was speeding and got pulled over! Jail wasn't so bad (who knew unpaid tickets turn into warrants?), but I'm out now and
dying to meet you! I will even grace you with my presence this time, but I'm not going to wash the jail off, first. I'm sure you're used to it by now, anyway.
Oh, and there's monopoly money in the envelope, in case you were wondering. Good luck, guys! Welcome to my world. :P
xoxo,
Traci