Poor Gerbil

[oldbutstillgoing]

>From an article in the Los Angeles Times...
>
>”In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
>trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors
>in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
>
>Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had
>been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had
>gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and
>slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted
>out “Armageddon”, my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve
>Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube
>and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.”
>
>At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
>happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame
>shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning
>his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in
>turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling
>the rodent out like a cannonball.”
>
>Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the
>impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns
>to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
>
> -------
>Anonymous response to dangerous rodent:
>
>O.K., here’s the top ten things that scared me the most in reading this
>story:
>
>10) “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum . . .” Ouch!!!
> 9) “So I peered into the tube . . .” Aaaaaahhhhhhh. I’m sorry, but
> that’s like looking through a telescope into hell. I’d rather use
> binoculars to stare at the sun.
> 8) That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem)
> being shot out of the guy’s ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on
> Rocky & Bullwinkle.
> 7) Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of
> someone’s ass. I’m just guessing, but I seriously doubt said
> gerbil was springtime fresh after his little journey into Kiki’s
> “tunnel of love.”
> 6) People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in
> their rectums.
> 5) People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were
> doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I
> would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniac, anal
> sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with a charcoal
> lighter before I admitted the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I
> just can’t imagine looking at a doctor and saying “Well doc, it’s
> like this. See we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took this
> cardboard tube . . .”
> 4) “First and second degree burns to the anus”. Wouldn’t this make
> the burning itch and discomfort of hemmoroids a welcome relief?
> How does one ever take a healthy shit after something like this?
> And the smell of burning anus must be in the top five most
> horrible scents on the face of the earth.
> 3) People named “Kiki” which is obviously a Polynesian word for
> “Idiotic white men who insert rodents up their butts.”
> 2) What kind of a hospital would hold a press conference on this?
> 1) This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those
> Mormons? I’m starting to get a whole new image of the Osmond
> family.

[EastTxGent]

Absolutely hilarious....!!!

[pyramider]

The rodent was asking for it.

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

Burning ones face and the other ones asshole is what they both deserve.

Karmas a bitch ya sick fucks.

[Juan Pablo de Marco]

i'm amazed. simply amazed. that there are people that believe this story is actually true. you can fool some people some of the time...


the 'practice' of gerbil stuffing debunked on the snopes urban legend website:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

With all of the true cases of foriegn objects found shoved up someones ass, is it really that far of a stretch to think someone would actually do it?

[SD2011]

Holy shit crapman!

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

Originally Posted by threepeckeredbillygoat

With all of the true cases of foriegn objects found shoved up someones ass, is it really that far of a stretch to think someone would actually do it?

http://m.live5news.com/autojuice?tar...naked-arrested



This nut shoved a mouse up his ass.

A computer mouse that is, lol.

[Roguejet]

True or not, THAT is some funny shit. Thanks for the laugh, OBSG.

[MojoR]

That was a funny read - true or not. Thanks for that.

[TexTushHog]

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=cTrOb...%3DcTrOb8zyrZk