Question for KC community from west side

[blackcube87]

Hey there KC community,

I am from the KC area that currently lives in the west side of the country. I am a light hobbyist that met a few girls at times from the KC area years back and started there. As a light hobbyist I was never really active on this site very much but I utilized it. Living here on the west side of the country I will tell you that what goes on in KC is far better than what I have going on. ECCIE is much better, and more active than Myscarletbook. Now some of that is because of what happened to Myredbook, but as a whole the community here is not as involved or active. But if done right the activity can still be fun here.

Anyway, I am writing to ask both providers and clients what I feel is a serious question, and unfortunately something I have to deal with right now. I am asking the KC community because, as I said, I feel this community is much better at this than where I live. We all take risks doing this and we take actions to minimize them. Some are obvious, the robs, LE, the dangerous guy, etc. One that is hardly mentioned and is avoided is if a client, and I hate using the L word, falls in love with a provider.

Before anyone judges I have been doing this for around 10 years now and have never ran into this problem. I am highly active in my career where I am fully scrutinized thus I do everything to not let something get in my way. Everyone has their reasoning for doing this, mine is that this is a release for me during my busy lifestyle that I enjoy. So my feelings I have foolishly allowed to develop for this provider is legit and not just me being stupid (there are guys out there that exist).

Things have calmed down the past couple weeks so I am rational right now. I have not told her about it yet and feel I need to. She is one of the three main girls I see. I am going to meet up with arguably our best provider in the area and discuss the issue with her over some wine. So I will get good advice there. So with that, I am wondering, both provider's and client's opinions on this issue, of a client developing feelings for a provider. Any advice, any thoughts, any experience would be appreciated.

As always, keep it mature and classy and thanks in advance.

PS. I am avoiding writing a book, if you want to know more about me so you can give more advice I can do that, but I am basically getting to the point here.

[blackcube87]

More directly, what are your opinions, experience, and advice when it comes to a client legitimately falling in love with an escort.

[DallasRain]

that my froiend is walking "dangerous" ground.....usually no good comes out of that type situation!..........be very careful!

[Wizard of Ahhhhs]

Many of us fall in love in 60-90 minute intervals.... and then we get over it. Dallas nailed it, tread lightly.

[NASDAQ]

Anything is possible...real life is strange. But finding the one, isn't going to be common. Sure there are many great men and women that come together bc of the hobby. A lot of it is very real. However, from a client point of view, it's easy to project your own feelings or attributes to a provider. The hobby is not terribly multi dimensional, meaning you are seeing someone who might of prepared hours to be with you for an hour or two. They are sharing their baggage with you. It's their best mood and their sexiest self. Depending on who you are, you aren't likely bringing your baggage in either. Together you are there for a purpose that may even include intimacy on a deep level. I guess I am saying the same as Dallas, tread lightly. Love and be in love while you are there but be skeptical cause it's like falling in love with a character in a novel or movie.

[Guest123017]

Any attempt to combine RW life and HW life most likely will be a recipe for disaster...

That much has been tried and true...

[Unique_Carpenter]

First, there's no actual issue with becoming friends with folks. As NASDAQ mentions, intimacy on a deep level, does occur. Thus, one must maintain perspective. If that can be maintained, a long fun run can occur (months/years) and can be mutually beneficial.
I like Wiz's comment:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

Many of us fall in love in 60-90 minute intervals.... and then we get over it. Dallas nailed it, tread lightly.

Dallas points out the key issue of the two folks having different perspectives. I'll add that the handful I've seen have all blown up.
Again, nothing wrong with friendship.
To close: If you're really wound up over it, you have no alternative than to discuss it with the gal. If you don't, it will blow up. If you do, perhaps appropriate perspective can be restablished.

[NASDAQ]

UC's advice as usual is spot on. You aren't a fool and no one is saying your feelings aren't real. If after some time, you should talk to her to discuss where your head is. If you just cut it off and ignore the provider's feelings, even if hers are only friend like or business only you could hurt her feelings. You don't want that. Most important in my mind is to not start making changes to your life and don't under any circumstances do anything to affect hers until you discuss and absorb. Feeling in love and good about a person is a good thing and there are a lot of people seeking intimacy in the hobby including providers. But as UC said, you have to have perspective and observe boundaries you have set up. Life still has to happen for you and her.

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

First, there's no actual issue with becoming friends with folks. As NASDAQ mentions, intimacy on a deep level, does occur. Thus, one must maintain perspective. If that can be maintained, a long fun run can occur (months/years) and can be
I like Wiz's comment:

Dallas points out the key issue of the two folks having different perspectives. I'll add that the handful I've seen have all blown up.
Again, nothing wrong with friendship.
To close: If you're really wound up over it, you have no alternative than to discuss it with the gal. If you don't, it will blow up. If you do, perhaps appropriate perspective can be restablished.

[DallasRain]

quote-----First, there's no actual issue with becoming friends with folks. As NASDAQ mentions, intimacy on a deep level, does occur. Thus, one must maintain perspective

great point! I have several gents I really am close to...but we keep the perception headed in the right direction! There are many "forms" of love! So therefore one can "fall in love",but not really "love" somebody like a soul mate/marriage partner!

[old-tyme-racer]

Black Cube 87.

Read what has been said by the posts that are above this post, they are telling how it is, not the way some would like it. If Dallas Rain tells you something you best believe what she is tell you, she has helped me more than once, about many things. She is great.

[stocklvr]

I recognize that you are exposing something very personal about yourself to the public and commend you for reaching out.
I can only give you advice. Stop
Stop seeing the provider. I am new to this hobby community but received sage advice from my first provider here in KC. She told me to see other providers and be careful of seeing one provider repeatedly. If she is doing her job then the chances of you falling for her is high. It is your job to keep everything you do in this hobby in perspective.
Stop sharing personal and or intimate information with any provider. As men, we tend to form a romantic bond with the women that listen to and sympathize with us. Sharing is good but remember you are paying for her time so she is going to listen because she is good at what she does.
Stop thinking and fantasizing about her. Yep, all of those imaginings in your head are now materializing in the real world in the form of some very strong feelings toward that provider.
Start spending more time with your buddies. If you don’t have, any find some. Really, having guy time will help keep you grounded and on an even keel with women, in general.
Start seeing the provider in question on a limited basis, once you have cooled your passion for her.
So far you have received some extremely sound words of wisdom from the respondents before me. Take their advice!!

[Cleo]

What's with all the negativity? Hey, aren't we all gentlemen dealing with ladies here? Are you all suggesting that because our involvement with one another stems from a business arrangement, that we should not allow real life feelings supersede that? Am I the only one who saw "Pretty Woman," and found its depictions a sign of hope and promise?

[blackcube87]

Hey KC community,

Thanks for the replies and advice. I agree that this is not the place to find "the one". I have been a light hobbyist for around 10 years now and know how the business works. This is more or less why I decided to reach out for some advice because my career aspirations are to high to allow something like falling in love with an escort to hold me back.

I do feel that talking to her and being 100% honest with her is the best way. DallasRain is correct, this is dangerous and I feel the danger. But I can't just keep this bottled in because, as UC said, it could blow up. I thought about this for a few weeks, and more after reading these replies and I feel that unless proper actions are taken someone will get hurt. The proper action is to have an honest discussion about it and set the proper boundaries and be on the same page. My biggest fear, though, is that another guy in the past "fell in love" with her but ended up stalking her. I am of the opinion that he didn't care about her at all since he did not respect her boundaries and was basically a creep. But based on her experience she will be uneasy about the situation. I hope she understands in the end.

Thanks again for the replies and advice.

[kc-max]

It has happened to me, told her I love her. She says she loves me as well.

She has been reviewed here before, but is currently retired. Plan to move slowly and see how this develops.

[i'va biggen]

If you have a outcall at your place, and she looks back on her way to the car she has some feelings for you. If she doesn't it is just business.