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Comedy Central All your funny stuff goes here.

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Old 01-29-2014, 10:37 PM   #1
LNK
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Default Retirement

Bill and his wife June retire, but they didn't do the best job of retirement planning, and also have some unexpected expenses. Soon, they're reduced to eating beans and rice, macaroni, or Ramen for most meals.

June, tired of this crappy diet, says to Bill, "Honey, I've decided I'm going to try to make us some money with my body. But I need your help."

Somewhat taken aback, Bill says, "What exactly do you mean, with your body? Are you going to model?"

Patting him on the cheek, June smiles and says, "That's very sweet, dear, but I don't think I can make any money by having people just *look* at me. I think it's going to be a bit more intimate than that!"

Bill is initially totally against the plan, but June is very persuasive, and soon they're driving downtown to see about finding some clients.

Bill parks the car in an alley, and tells June, "You just go stand on the corner and show off those legs. You'll have them lining up in no time. If you have any questions, just run back here and we'll figure out what to do."

So June stands on the corner, and soon enough, a guy pulls over in a car, and asks June, "How much?"

June, totally unprepared, says, "Hold on just a minute." She runs back to the alley, leans in Bill's window, and says, "A guy stopped, but he wants to know how much?"

Bill says, "Tell him $100 for sex."

So June runs back, and tells the guy "$100 for sex."

Guy says, "I only have $35, though. What can you do for that?"

June again says, "Hold on just a minute." She runs back and tells Bill.

Bill says, "For $35, tell him he can have a hand job."

So June runs back and tells him. He agrees, she gets in the car, and the guy pulls into a parking place just down from the alley.

He whips it out, and it's the biggest, longest tool June's ever seen! She grew up on a farm, and she's thinking this should be on a horse, not a man!

Breathless, June says, "Hold on just a minute." She runs back to the alley, leans in the window, and says to Bill, "Honey, can you loan this guy $65?"
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Old 01-30-2014, 09:58 AM   #2
Dana_Passion
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Lmao! I love it!
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Old 02-02-2014, 11:17 AM   #3
Long nose
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LoL
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:01 PM   #4
Sami
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haha good one
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Old 02-06-2014, 09:43 AM   #5
iRockTomFord
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Hahah, too funny!
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