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Old 08-18-2011, 01:03 AM   #1
Jewels-Arkansas
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Unhappy In need of advice!

I recently moved in with a good griend who unfourchantly has been dealing with m.s. and lupus... so they say (the docs). Only thing is I knw shes not stupid, therefore I wonder if she has caught on to what I do for the bread n butter. I am not very hip to telling fibs... nor just a straight up LIE! So do you think I should just go ahead and let her knw the truth? You knw the truth will set you free!! I just listen to her (because its what I love to do and should do.) I was thinking yes I should!) Yet I here the way she uses the word WHORE, so I am hesitant to be honest, just yet.... MAYBE, I should just give it some time.... I have already felt deep sympathy pains, therefore, getting attached... So I fear that she might become another HATER.....Y'S IT GOT TO BE LIKE THAT!! Yet she claims to be open minded... And she is so very sweet! Maybe I am studing this way too much. Any suggestions? NO MO HATERS!!! HOPING for some needed advise! THANKS!!
XoXoXo, Jewels
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Old 08-18-2011, 02:06 AM   #2
Jewels-Arkansas
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Dame. Haste does make waste.... Got in to big a hurry and forgot to do my spell check. My typing is just in not like it use 2 b!!!
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Old 08-18-2011, 08:16 AM   #3
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Jewels, I don't think I would tell her. Just go with a cover story as why risk losing what you guys have and it appears she needs you & you need her If her safety is not an issue then I wouldn't.

Good luck sweetie.
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Old 08-18-2011, 09:13 AM   #4
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Hey Jewels, I tend to agree with SNL. It seems that you both need one another right now, maybe for different reasons, but why risk that right now.
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:39 PM   #5
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Jewels, my mother deals with MS, and she has days where the world is certainly not her friend. She goes from being the kind woman I know to a hateful bitch, using words such as "whore", "m-f", etc. It is her way of venting frustration over a slow, lingering illness, and the feelings of futility that come with it.

So perhaps your roomie uses hateful language in the same way... when feeling down, she vents her anger and frustration over those people able to do what she cannot enjoy any more.

Would I tell her? No. The closest I might come is telling her you have a "sugar daddie" and the irregular hours and meetings are working around his wife.
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Old 08-18-2011, 01:05 PM   #6
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You will be showing your friendship to not tell her. In a bad moment she may latch out at you. Once she latches out there is no way for her to ever take it back no matter how bad she feels about what she says. You would never be close to her again and she will always hate that she did it. So unless telling her will cure her of M.S. keep it to yourself. Don't bring up what you do or where you do it. Don't lie just don't talk about it.
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Old 08-18-2011, 01:51 PM   #7
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Tricky situation. I would say let the situation ride as is for now, and if she ever does catch on, you can deal with it then. If she is truly a sweet and good hearted person, she shouldn't be judgmental.
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Old 08-18-2011, 02:39 PM   #8
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I think those of us who play in this world develop a sense that's this is 'no big deal' because, well, it's not. But we have to remember that no matter how we explain it to people, the preconceived picture of what we do is deeply engrained into people's sense of what is right and wrong. It's very hard for someone to see things our way. Trust me, I've tried...
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Old 08-18-2011, 02:56 PM   #9
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I am usually not much for advice, but here are a few questions that might help?

What is served by telling her? Two possibilities are about her need to know what you are up to... and your need to either have a simple life for find her acceptance. Probably a long list of others.

What is the risk in continuing to just go along as you have? Will the situation change as her condition does?

How would it serve her to know?

My experience is that that there is usually no right or wrong answer... just the consequences and outcomes of what you decide. So, which outcomes are most likely and what are the tradeoffs you are most willing to live with?
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:53 PM   #10
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Thank you all you all for the GOOD advice! I espically like jmgorilla when he said "if shes a good person.... then she shouldent' be judgemental. I try very hard to not b that way. (have suffered conciqinces because of it) But thats okay. On a lighter note....... LillyBlair we should get together for sum.... humm. Will I will p.m. you later!!!
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:14 PM   #11
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Jewels, I envy you for your compation. I have no better advice than what you have
already received. I think the love in your heart will direct you. I haven't met you yet
but reading this tells me what a beautiful person you are.
Chris
PS I don't have spell check can you tell?
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:55 PM   #12
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Jewels, I wouldn't go any further than telling her something like "I'm a personal
assistant for several business people. Thus, the odd hours, etc.". That is, after all, what you do and is expressed in a way that helps you maintain a sense of dignity in spite of the HATERS!

Just a thought

Chris
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:07 PM   #13
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THANK A BUNCH! You all are great, thanks again!
XoXoXo, Jewels
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:09 PM   #14
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OH and to u ccrider, thats very nice to notice! thanks, Jewels
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Old 08-19-2011, 07:10 PM   #15
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Ditto on ccrider's comment. People
with a good heart are so pleasant to be around.
Hope to meet you soon!
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