Well, I look forward to the "But other times" list, since the first one just isn't my cup of tea! I'm sure that there are guys who'd love it and you should check out the Another Realm forum if you haven't been there yet.
http://www.eccie.net/forumdisplay.php?f=792
I'm fine being submissive and/or dominant, depending greatly on who I'm with. Most self-confident providers I've seen appear to prefer leading the action by default and I'm usually fine with that. Younger providers or those new to the biz seem to prefer to take direction and I certainly don't mind telling them what I want them to do either. I've never been to the extreme in either role, though I wouldn't mind giving a girl a good spanking till that ass was red or slapping them in the face with my dick. Hmmm, ok who wants to be tied up, lol.