References vs Reviews...

[spankies]

Hmmm...what is the "catch" with the young ladies only seeing hobbyist that write reviews? Just curious, is it safety or something? Aren't references better, I mean actually talking to other young ladies that have seen the hobbyist, so they get to know who they are seeing. I was shot down by a young lady cause I didn't have any reviews up. However I could provide references. I'm just not big on writing reviews. I know...I know maybe I need to start...

[Bob McV]

My semi-educated guess? The lady is too lazy to actually follow up on a reference and thinks reviews will be "good enough" to ensure her safety.

[Loxly]

Might also be that they're specifically looking to get reviews. Lame, but some work that way. Thankfully most don't.

In a world of Tit for Tat, would this be a case of Tit for Tattle?

[FS_ITC]

Originally Posted by Loxly

In a world of Tit for Tat, would this be a case of Tit for Tattle? :

Well-played, sir. Well-played!

[ztonk]

Originally Posted by spankies

I'm just not big on writing reviews. I know...I know maybe I need to start...

Go ahead and write one! It helps us guys find the right ladies to see, and at the very least you get 6 weeks to read The Rest of the Story section of all the reviews on the site.

(But please see the sample reviews thread before you write it, so we can give you credit for it!)

ztonk

[ck1942]

Or, register on P411.com and once you are verified there, should be a bit easier w/o reviews.... Heck, you could even put "I have P411" in your signature or in PMs, but best not to list your P411 i.d.

That said, some folks are truly surprised at seeing posts and profiles on P411 that somehow don't find their way here too often.

Not sure I can say this accurately, but there are UTRs here who have a profile there. But are they truly UTR?

Sometimes (today a good example) when I am doing Google research I run into some ad boards that I have never heard of (or my memory fails) with some pretty interesting profiles/ads that turn out to be very real.

[Annika]

p411 is much safer and much better IMHO
Anyone can write a few bogus reviews

[Loxly]

Originally Posted by Annika

p411 is much safer and much better IMHO
Anyone can write a few bogus reviews

It's a worthwhile investment. It certainly helped "kick-start" my adventures in Austin. Having those OKs from the ladies back East was Heaven Sent (or was that Scent?).

[TemptationTammie]

Originally Posted by spankies

Hmmm...what is the "catch" with the young ladies only seeing hobbyist that write reviews? Just curious, is it safety or something? Aren't references better, I mean actually talking to other young ladies that have seen the hobbyist, so they get to know who they are seeing. I was shot down by a young lady cause I didn't have any reviews up. However I could provide references. I'm just not big on writing reviews. I know...I know maybe I need to start...

I guess it would depend how reliable your references are.

Originally Posted by Bob McV

My semi-educated guess? The lady is too lazy to actually follow up on a reference and thinks reviews will be "good enough" to ensure her safety.

It's not that we are too lazy, it's that some references are not reliable. Some ladies don't answer in a timely fashion when asked for a reference as well. There have been times when the lady given as a ref hasn't answered me at all. Or they get back to me days later, and the guy wants appt that day.

[TravelingTex]

Originally Posted by TemptationTammie

I guess it would depend how reliable your references are.

It's not that we are too lazy, it's that some references are not reliable. Some ladies don't answer in a timely fashion when asked for a reference as well. There have been times when the lady given as a ref hasn't answered me at all. Or they get back to me days later, and the guy wants appt that day.

Precisely why I don't bother to try arranging something with a provider who demands references. If a new-to-me provider is worried that I may be nuts (a bit paranoid, but understandable), and she thinks she's going to get that answered to her satisfaction by getting clear, timely answers from a list of my references, then it's HER who is out of touch with the whole reference scheme. Two providers in two days this week caught my eye, but those two already eliminated themselves because of their demand to PM references in advance.

In my real world, I'm a long-time consultant who has to provide business references over and over for each new client. Even with these straight business questions to HR pros, references are frequently slow and often delay my next project.

In my Eccie world, I'm not going to invest the same level of impatient hopefulness waiting to receive permission to do a straight-up deal with a provider, IF Polly Provider #4 and Sexy Suzy #37 would just return that email or call.

I don't know what info is exchanged in the ladies-only section, but between that section and Alerts, I'm sure that potentially dangerous nuts are all outed immediately to the whole community. Those lowlifes are few and far between, fortunately. So what's the real purpose of references for an established member of Eccie? None, except in the provider's mind, IMO.

ADDED: In the ladies room, don't providers ever ask the community (as we do in the Men's Lounge all the time), "Hey, I was contacted by TravelingTex. Anybody know anything about him?" to which a provider or two might respond, "I've seen him, he's clean and shows up on time, no prob." There ya go, problem solved not only for that provider, but also for the next one as well.

[Blutoxoxo]

Great 'points' as I've ran into the same challenges at times!

[TemptationTammie]

I personally don't DEMAND references since I have alternate screening, however I do ask for them.
I will normally try to respond to any requests that I get as soon as I notice it. I normally don't give details about the guy. I prefer to just let the provider know "yes, he's ok". And that is honestly all the info that I want to know.
We are all different based on the person we are with. I've seen guys then later seen alerts on them from other ladies, but have had no issues personally. So even you gents are different based on the provider and our attitude/personality. The same as we may respond differently based on your atitude/personality.

[TravelingTex]

Here's an example of a demand. Bear in mind that this provider has only two reviews, both over a year and a half ago, both from Houston. She demands that "If we haven't met, PM me with your THREE (3) most recent references..."

First, unless she's the busiest UTR provider in Texas, there are very, very few guys who have met her.

Second, this is demanding language from a formal corp-to-corp contract, or government business, with the caps and the "(3)". This sounds like something we need to pass by the legal dept, since it's a demand.

One of those two early-2013 reviews says that she's trying to get Eccie verified -- good luck with that.

[Guest101314]

Unfortunately due to some cattiness, not all alerts are put out there for everyone like you assume sir.

Many of us do offer alternative screening methods. Sure, my ad says to send references, but if you don't have them or don't want to provide them (red flag to me) then you can take advantage of the other methods. But you will be screened regardless.

This is our business model and done to help us feel safe. Don't degrade or bash women because of their choices in screening. If you don't like it, move on to the next. There are many women on here, I'm sure one would see you. (general statement, not directed at anyone)

[NikkiWhite]

Originally Posted by TravelingTex

Here's an example of a demand. Bear in mind that this provider has only two reviews, both over a year and a half ago, both from Houston. She demands that "If we haven't met, PM me with your THREE (3) most recent references..."

First, unless she's the busiest UTR provider in Texas, there are very, very few guys who have met her.

Second, this is demanding language from a formal corp-to-corp contract, or government business, with the caps and the "(3)". This sounds like something we need to pass by the legal dept, since it's a demand.

One of those two early-2013 reviews says that she's trying to get Eccie verified -- good luck with that.

Maybe shes just not extremely active. Your reading her showcase in the tone you want to. Re-read with 10x more enthusiasm and a smile im sure thats how she meant for it to come across unless shes an angry dragon lady.

No problem with her wanting to be safe even without alot of reviews.

I need references in some states like texas, in California where the other women are less co operative I use other methods and usually know all about the guy without him even knowing.