Advice from Former Nuevo Laredo Resident

[DiabloMactavish]

Gentlemen - I lived in Nuevo Laredo from 2006-2010 and still go back pretty much monthly. If anyone needs advice for visiting there, I'll be happy to help. I am white, but fluent in Spanish, I lived in Mexico for almost 13 years.

Some general advice for Nuevo Laredo:

Before going, check the US Consulate for Nuevo Laredo's Warden Messages page just to make sure there isn't any craziness going on. Search nuevo laredo on Blog del Narco if you want to know what kind of craziness is possible.

1) if you're the kind of person that gets drunk and gets into fights, stay out of Nuevo Laredo. If you're the kind of person that drinks so much that you can't tell your ass from your elbow, stay out of Nuevo Laredo.

2) Don't carry a pocket knife. At all. Not even in your car. If you do, expect a big fine (US $300 or more) or go to jail. Directly to jail. Trust me you don't want to be in the city jail. It reeks of rotten piss and is standing room only.

3) Don't go to Boystown aka La Zona, unless you can speak decent Spanish, and are very "street wise". There's really no point in going anyhow, for the reasons detailed below...

4) Last fall the city fired the entire (the ENTIRE) police force because after sequestering them for a surprise drug screening and background check, so many failed that there weren't enough to patrol the streets. The military and the federal police have now taken over street patrols. However they are really only enforcing crimes such as drug dealing, murder, theft - prostitution is not even on their radar. This means... Downtown is open season - after dusk there are hookers on practically every street corner - it looks like Bangkok.

But be careful - there are a couple groups of tranny hookers, and some of them won't admit what plumbing they have installed.

La Herradura - the longtime favorite of downtown, is dead. They cannot even afford live music any more most nights.

The Blue Fox - a lot of foreigners like this place because the owner speaks English, but it is an out and out clip joint - charging US $5 for beer to americans and $50 pesos to mexicans, and refused to take pesos from me. (The exchange rate is over 13 to 1) Also the waitstaff is really aggressive, slow to bring change and just really pushy considering the place is about the size of the average living room. The girls are generally 5-8's, but the prettier they are the less likely they are going to do anything but fichear (earn ladies drink tokens). Also you probably won't ever see the same girl twice, I've heard from several girls that the owner doesn't pay the girls for all their tokens and generally they leave dissatisfied after their first week.

La Montera - seems a little intimidating because it's downstairs in the basement of the building, but it is personally, my favorite hangout. The beer is cheap, the place gets packed at night especially on the weekends, but with a little patience there are some real gems there. Another important thing about La Montera is that in the evening the bouncer will not allow girls in who do not have their STD certification from the health department. Beers are $12 pesos.

El Intimo - just down the street from the Herradura, this place can be full some times. It's a little more working class, and the chicas reflect this, you'll find a jewel amongst the gorditas sometimes, but its very rare. The beers are 12 pesos, and they still allow the clientele to smoke so the air can be pretty noxious on busy nights.

La Mina - little more than a covered patio, very close to the bridge. You'll find chicas here from time to time, mostly haggy older ones that speak prostitute english.

All around the outside of the bars, there will be girls on the street, even in the daytime - in general, the aggressive ones are junkies, mostly heroin addicts. There are at least 6 girls that I know of that are currently addicted and working. They also duck the health inspectors so expect trouble if you go in bareback. One that I know of had a raging case of gonorrhea and still worked.

La Boa - not really downtown, about 6-8 minutes drive from the bridge. There really aren't any nearby hotels, so if you're planning on taking a chica to a hotel, you should probably have your own car. Again, depending on the night, you will get a mixed bag of girls. As usual, patience pays off. Beers are $15 pesos.

The trick to chica hunting is the will to walk away. If you don't like what you see, go somewhere else or go home solo. There's always the escort services in the local paper - for $100 / $1000 pesos you'll get a girl delivered right to your door hot and fresh.

Anyhow, if anyone has questions, specific recommendations, etc feel free to post or PM

[Pink_Freud]

If you were to be so kind, where is the Montera? What bridge do you take? Would it be wise to walk across or drive? Any info is much appreciated, thanks again...

[DiabloMactavish]

La Montera is right off the the main street from Bridge 1 (Guerrero), if you know where that big artisans market is that is after the burger king. The market takes up the whole next block and The Montera is right across the street on Hidalgo, in an entrance going down between two hot sheet hotels that go upstairs. You will see, usually, some girls clustered outside to smoke cigarettes and gossip. Don't worry the staff are generally very nice and I've probably drank (without exaggeration) a thousand beers there. If you're uncertain, there are always touts near the bridge that will take you there - I do not recommend using the touts, you're just setting yourself up for an endless stream of recommended hookers that he's convinced to give him a cut of what you pay her.

Most people who intend to just party downtown will just walk across the bridge. The downtown action is literally 6-8 blocks from the bridge so that's not really worth driving around for. In a later post I'll highlight some of the dives I've discovered that are probably off the beaten track. This is a border town do there are whores in every cantina there, for the most part.

[Mr_Electric]

Very good information. I used to like La Zona because Danysh SC had some hot chicas and sometimes I could get one of them to go back to the room. If I couldn't get any attention at Danysh I would go hit one or two more inexpensive clubs or the cribs.

Worst part of La Zona was the cops at the entrace, they empty your pockets (ostensibly checking for drugs and weapons) and check to see how much money you have. what fucking business is that of theirs? I never got jacked in NL, but one cop sure was eyeballing my roll of pesos and dollars one time. I have heard lots of stories of people getting jacked or detained by the cops right at the entrance.

La Montera is small and intimidating if you don't speak spanish. The providers are also pushy. I can't remember the name of the club about a block East of Guerrero. It had a stage and band right behind the entrance door and you would buy the laides drinks and dance the cumbia. The local guys approach it different than us gringos, they like a little romance and dancing before (or if) they get down to the deed.

[DiabloMactavish]

That's La Herradura (horseshoe) - as I said above, it is dead.

As far as pushy providers, they are every where. I generally never accept the ones that come to the table, look for the wall flowers, the shy girls are much more pleasant company, generally speaking.

Generally a newbie girl will be befriended by an older (35+) vet that will come sit down once you spend money on the younger girl. Don't feel obligated to buy her a beer - tell your preferred provider that one for her friend is one less for her, or just give the hag ten pesos (a dollar) which is more than they earn per token (they get $7 pesos per at the Montera), but cheaper than the beer and the token, and she should get the hint to f off.

There are also a couple older ladies that will gravitate towards gringos to act as translators, in exchange for drink tokens etc.

Once each gringo has a girl the others will leave them alone. But don't feel too bad if you decide to switch girls, just say, I'm going to invite her for a drink now. If she's been with you for a while, slide her $10 bucks as an extra tip and send her back to freelance.


I have a good friend, Laura, that usually sits with me and drinks non-token regular sized beers with me who helps fend off the shoe shiners and vendors and tells me which girls are good fucks and just pleasant conversation. At the end of the night I give her $200-300 pesos which is more than she'd earn in tokens for ladies drinks, but far less than I'd spend if I'd been buying her ladies pony beers all night. The running joke is that I'm paying her *not* to fuck me. But she's actually very sweet, thin, long black hair, green eyes about 28 - her flaw is that she's missing 3-4 teeth on her left side. But I've been sitting with her for years, she's come to my house for dinner several times - a good friend.

[Pink_Freud]

thanks a bunch for the info....very much appreciated...will probably go around 7pm one of these days...any days in particular? is it just the weekend? or is any day a holiday...thanks again...

[DiabloMactavish]

There are definitely girls that work only Fridays and Saturdays, but any night might be busy, especially if it falls on the quincena, the 1st or 15th of the month, which is when most people get their paychecks.

Sometimes going on a slow night works to your advantage, as there are fewer customers and you might just pick up a bargain.

My favorite thing to do is to come at 3-4 in the afternoon and sip beers all afternoon at one of the better tables and grab chicas as they trickle in.

There are definitely girls that are not interested in drinking more than 1 or 2 drinks and want to take you straight to a hotel room to earn the sex cash, then off to the next customer.

Depending on the night by 7 pm it might be standing room only, or half empty - its fairly hard to predict.

As long as you go in to a place like this with the attitude that I don't *have* to get laid you'll be all right. If no girl there appeals to you, take a walk down to El Intimo, just 3 blocks away have a beer or 2 at Intimo, avoid the skanks outside of the Hotel Asturias, unless you're into cheap, but dead pussy. If no one there strikes you, go to the billiard hall across the street (I think it's called El Angel) there's sometimes one or two girls there. Play some pool, have a beer, walk back to Montera, run the gauntlet past the hotel Asturias skanks again. Chances are someone new has shown up at the Montera, or just finished up with another client.

If you feel like it stick your nose into the Blue Fox, but it's a clip joint, so keep that in mind.

Since the police are gone you will be flirted with / approached on the street, but just remember, most of the girls on the street will not have had their health inspection so you are running the risk of crabs, gonarrhea, etc. The most aggressive ones are likely to be junkies, so buyer beware. On the other hand sometimes there are semi-pro girls that are too nervous to go in to the cantina. Sometimes it's because they're underage. YMMV.

[Pink_Freud]

thanks, info very much appreciated....let's see how it goes...

[Pink_Freud]

One last ?.....which hotel/motel would you recommend, not for overnight status, just to get the job done and be gone after...thanks again for all this...

[DiabloMactavish]

Well the one I always use for the sex sessions is just a little down the street from the Montera. The name escapes me, but I think it's called Matamoros. Don't use either hotel to the sides of the Montera, they are roach infested and gross. The hotel I'm talking about is pretty low profile, it is just a door going upstairs to the hotel. The bottom floor is retail. All the girls know it. $200 pesos for a short time room.

[Cheburashka]

What a great thread. I've spent more time and dollars in La Zona than I can count. And I have had some of the best sexual experiences with non-pros there ever. Ah, the memories. I always drove there myself, and tipped to have my car watched. Got shaken down only once; had to pay police $100 USD. But other than that, always a good time. Only had one tranny experience in all the years. Didn't even know until back at the room. Damn that was one beautiful he/she. Stormed out and watched the maid laughing. Obviously she knew. But that is another story.

[DiabloMactavish]

I've had so many police attempt to shake me down it's ridiculous.

One time, the police literally robbed me at gun point by demanding to search my wallet for drugs. When I turned around to watch him go through my wallet his partner drew his gun and smashed my face against my car. When I got it back it was $200 dollars lighter. They kindly left me $50 pesos for the bridge fee.

After that I was a lot more street smart, and when a cop demanded to search my wallet, I plucked the cash out and said, have at it but you don't have to search the money. He didn't like that very much, and proceeded to tell me he could plant a knife, drugs or even a gun on me and make my life very unpleasant. I said, yes that's true, but then I'd be obliged to report you to Comision de Derechos Humanos (the human rights commission which investigates governmental employee abuse of citizens), and then they'd try to figure out how you had such nice jewelry, how you drive such a nice car, how your wife has such nice clothes, how you live in such a nice house .... In the end we will both end up losing.

He stared at me eye to eye for a full on minute then said, get the fuck outta here.

Sometimes it pays to speak fluent Spanish.

[killeriam]

Nice to know that I am not the only adventurous guy out there going into Nuevo Laredo. To tell you the truth I completely avoid downtown, and skip all the way to boys town (La Zona). I go for what I know, and that is "Danash." I kid you not that 90% of the girls there score over a solid 8 or above and most age group is from 17-23. Expect top notch girls at Danash. The good thing is that you will be satisfied with any girl in that club, and bad thing is that you will feel it at your wallet.

At Danash expect beers to be $40 pesos ($4 when you pay in dollars), drink for the girls $120 pesos ($12 when you pay in dollars). Lap dances $170 ($17 when you pay in dollars), and when you take a girl upstairs is $1200-$1400 pesos or ($120-$140 when you pay in dollars) plus $200 pesos ($20 when you pay in dollars) for the room. Like Diablo said or I think he said, exchange your dollars for pesos. Familiarize your self with the bills, and you can save 30% in any cantina.

[DiabloMactavish]

All great points - if you like Strip Clubs you might also try The Penthouse which even pricier (I think beers are $50 pesos there) but it is full of top shelf pussy imported from Monterrey. They also have an upstairs to fuck the talent. I can't remember what the rates are but they are probably the same or higher than Danash. The last time I went there were 18-20 dancers in a place smaller than Danash, there was T&A everywhere and there were definitely some underage chickees there, so be aware of that. It's kind of hard to find. Unfortunately I don't know the exact address, but it is Santos Degollado and Washington. It is about a 6-8 minute drive from Bridge 2 or Bridge 1. I found a YouTube promo video for it: http://youtu.be/nfavQsE-Xkc or this one has real live uncovered boobies in it, eventually - http://youtu.be/_HqckE90rUc

Looking for whores in a strip club is what I call big game hunting at the zoo, the animals are jaded after seeing so many tourists and the killer instinct has left them - but they are excellent specimens.

Google Maps can be your friend, it does have accurate maps of most of Nuevo Laredo, but not driving directions, I don't think.

Also La Boa is only 2-3 blocks from it, on Leandro Valle and Guatemala, both are very close to a supermarket chain called Chedraui, so if you can find Chedraui, you can probably just roll down your windows and navigate by sound, lol. Viva Mexico!

[Mr_Electric]

I tried a lot of the downtown cheap motels. My favorite was Meson Del Rey. It is about 10 blocks in facing Hidalgo Plaza. Rooms are less than 50 USD. I like it because if you get an interior room, you don't have the traffic noise. If you don't like they room they give you just ask for another. It is close to an OXXO store, farmacias, fast food, and taxi stand. I guess it is safe once you are in the room. I used to go to and forth to the ATM's, but that is probably not a good idea any more. I used to take the Greyhound bus from SA and walk across, I liked it better than having to drive across and wait in the customs lanes (on the return trip). If you get up before 7 am, you can usually get through customs fast, but after that, forget it.