Provider vs. Hobbyist Thoughts
This thread was inspired by a recent event. I actually screwed up and left too big a gift. When I realized my mistake, I thought to myself, "I won't hear a thing from her. But if I was a dollar short she'd rip me a new one."
All of the following is meant to be in fun. No one in particular is involved. Feel free to add on.
HID
Contribution $50 too high:
Scene 1:
Provider: Awwww, it's nice to get a tip! Better not mention it to him. He'd get embarassed
Hobbyist: Shit! I'm missing a fifty. Surely she'd call me if I overpaid
Scene 2:
Provider: I never was good at math. 100 + 100 + 50 +50 = 250
Hobbyist: F**k, I left an extra Grant.
Contribution $50 too low:
Scene 1:
Provider: the bastard shorted me! I'm gonna call his sorry arse.
Hobbyist: Crap! I got an extra bill. I hope she doesn't think I.... ring ring... Hello? SORRY I MESSED UP!!!
Scene 2:
Provier: The envelopes a little short. Poor guy must be worried sick that I'm mad. Let me call him.
Hobbyist: HA HA!!!I got away with it! ring ring.... Hello? Before you say anything! I'M SORRY! MY DOG ATE MY MONEY!
Provider's chest confulsing during "preliminaries":
Hobbyist: I slithered soutward and she showed her delight!
Provider: Damn! He's licking my arm pit. That tickles! I can hardly holld in laughing.
Note: What if her feet are pointing north? Are you still slithering southward?
Hobbyist egos:
Provier: Look at that thing. I wonder if hesits down to pee.
Hobbyist: All women want THIS! (pointing to crotch)
Provider: I'm the original MILF taboo
Hobbyist: You're the original Mrs. Robinson. She was 40 in 1969.
Description:
Provider: I'm mature and curvy
Hobbyist: Her pics are dated
Provider: He's short, old, and smells cheesy
Hobbyist: I'm just a lil OLD country mouse.
Hobbyist: She had eraser nipples.
Provider: Why the hell did he rub my nipples on his math homework?
Hobbyist: She has responsive nipples.
Provider: Hello, this is nipple. I'm returning your call. You left a voice message.
Rest of the Story:
Scene 1:
Provider: That wet finger in my ear is kinda sexy
Hobbyist: This is my first ear boink. I can't wait to right a review
Scene 2:
Hobbyist: She was tasty and fresh.
Provider: I wonder if he he realizes he has my FDS can in his mouth.
Scene 3:
Hobbyist: Are those dreadlocks?
Provider: I wish I had trimmed today.
Scene 4:
Hobbyist: Her pu**y was sweet!
Provider: Just a spinkle of Splenda goes a long way.
Links to reviews:
Scene 1:
Provider: Link to my reviews on aspd.
Hobbyist: I wonder if she has a review this century on a site that hasn't crashed. (Note: Yeah, that's tacky)
Scene 2:
Provier: Link to my reviews on TER.
Hobbyist: I guess she's not from Texas.
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE!
The Big Three:
Hobbyist: My real name is Luther Espanosa. But you can call me LE. I have no posts , no P411, and no work number. But I've seen 100 providers that will vouch for me. Unfortunately you can't contact them, but trust me. Oh, and I'll pay you three times your normal gift. I'm calling from your cell... I mean I'm calling from MY cell PHONE.
Provider: I only advertise on the Big Three. All txt and email will be ignored. Please contact me from a traceble line and provide your name, finger prints, dna sample, and contact number for your bailbondsman.
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