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06-24-2015, 11:11 AM
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#1
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HELL's bell ringer!!
User ID: 3067
Join Date: Dec 27, 2009
Location: Based in Missouri AND coming to play in your town soon!!!
Posts: 70,748
My ECCIE Reviews
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Ok I needed the laugh....
share yours....
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 | 3 users liked this post |
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06-24-2015, 02:59 PM
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#2
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Feb 15, 2012
Location: .
Posts: 3,870
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Ok, the third one literally had me laughing out loud. Good one!
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06-24-2015, 04:57 PM
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#3
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 1, 2010
Location: Arlington
Posts: 2,103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkeyKong
Ok, the third one literally had me laughing out loud. Good one!
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Me too. My goal every trip. 
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06-24-2015, 05:10 PM
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#4
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Premium Access
Join Date: Dec 12, 2013
Location: D/FW
Posts: 908
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The second one is why so many of us are in the hobby! Those were funny.
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06-24-2015, 07:06 PM
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#5
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HELL's bell ringer!!
User ID: 3067
Join Date: Dec 27, 2009
Location: Based in Missouri AND coming to play in your town soon!!!
Posts: 70,748
My ECCIE Reviews
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lol now yall post some....
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| 1 user liked this post |
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06-25-2015, 02:40 AM
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#6
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 290247
Join Date: Mar 27, 2015
Location: Austin
Posts: 115
My ECCIE Reviews
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Lmao at the second one ! ��
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| 1 user liked this post |
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06-25-2015, 02:23 PM
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#7
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Account Disabled
User ID: 47235
Join Date: Sep 29, 2010
Location: Galleria area in North Dallas. Private apartment
Posts: 2,747
My ECCIE Reviews
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Too funny
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| 1 user liked this post |
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06-25-2015, 05:48 PM
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#8
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 1, 2010
Location: Arlington
Posts: 2,103
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One I saw recently: Sex is like Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I tried my darndest to compare sex to poker. Best i have: If you don't poker her, better have a better plan.
Sure someone can better that.
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06-25-2015, 06:57 PM
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#9
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HELL's bell ringer!!
User ID: 3067
Join Date: Dec 27, 2009
Location: Based in Missouri AND coming to play in your town soon!!!
Posts: 70,748
My ECCIE Reviews
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lol those are good!
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
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Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/10inchbicjokes.html
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06-25-2015, 09:32 PM
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#10
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Feb 15, 2012
Location: .
Posts: 3,870
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06-26-2015, 01:04 AM
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#11
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 26, 2012
Location: North of DFW
Posts: 625
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A man is sunbathing nude at the beach when he notices a family arrive with a little girl and they plop down not far from him. Wanting to be a gentleman with a young girl playing nearby, he grabs a towel to cover his privates, and grabs a book to read.
Pretty soon the little girl wanders over and says "Hey Mister, what you got under that towel?" He replies, "It is a big ugly bird, you don't want to see. Now go on and play and leave me be." Seemingly appeased, off she wanders to continue playing and the man goes back to reading and eventually dozes off. A short time later, the man suddenly awakens to terrible pain and burning in his groin area and looks up to see the little girl standing over him holding the towel.
"Wha-Wha-What happened," he asked. "Well, mister, I got curious about that big ugly bird and wanted to see it. I moved the towel and you were right, that was one ugly bird. I tried to ring it's neck and it spit at me. So I stomped it's eggs and burnt it's nest!"
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06-26-2015, 11:39 AM
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#12
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 12, 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 196
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I hear that in the first year of marriage if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex, and you take a penny out every time you have sex after that first year, you will never empty the jar.
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06-26-2015, 12:58 PM
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#13
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 26, 2012
Location: North of DFW
Posts: 625
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Do you add and take pennies whenever you have sex or only when you have sex with each other?
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06-26-2015, 02:55 PM
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#14
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 12, 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NTXReggie
Do you add and take pennies whenever you have sex or only when you have sex with each other?
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I had in mind only sex with each other, but I suppose many hobbiests could empty the jar if they took pennies out for each time they had sex with a provider.
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06-26-2015, 06:28 PM
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#15
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 1, 2010
Location: Arlington
Posts: 2,103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DallasRain
lol those are good!
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
.............................. ...........................
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/10inchbicjokes.html |
Hi Dallas: here's an old one. a young Scottish lass was curious about what the Scottish lads had under their kilts. She summoned the courage to ask one. He said: "Take a look". She did and gasped: "How gruesome"
He said: "Take another look; it grewsome more! " 
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