Providers who don't respond to PMs

[Wheretonow]

I sent a PM to a provider on P411 the other day in response to her ad, which said to PM her for the password to her website. I also asked for her availability on a particular day. I never heard back, even though I had more than the number of provider OKs she requests.

She has checked into her P411 account a number of times since, so she had numerous opportunities to see/review my PM and my profile (she never did). So it leaves me wondering what I did wrong, or what about me didn't generate enough interest for her to respond.

She's a well-reviewed provider who I would have loved to have seen, but now I'm having my doubts. So guys, how persistent are you after having your initial attempts to contact a provider fail; and ladies - if you have no interest in seeing someone do you respond or just blow them off?

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

first of all, sorry to hear that.

that's one of the main reason's I'm online alot of the day, there's always business somewhere to be handled, and that includes PM/emails. If I didn't I wouldn't make any money.

perhaps she didn't receive or overlooked it maybe? try shooting her another and see what happens.

[Captain Caveman]

I am not very persistent... I will do the occasional follow up on an inquiry because I understand that private messages or e-mails might be get missed. But if messages sent are not being read then I just move on.

The same goes for courtesy. I try to be as courteous as possible in a private message or e-mail. If I get a harsh or rude response imagine what that person will be like when you first meet them. I've had negative impressions from people based on messages alone.

[Iaintliein]

Sometimes they're too busy writing adds asking that you contact them for "specials".

[L.A.]

Yeah that's frustrating. Just the other day I sent a PM to a provider that posts on here quite a bit. In fact she posts on lots of the iso threads. I responded to her in a PM commenting on one of her replies because it was an ISO that I was interested in. About 30 minutes after I sent the PM is shows that she read it. She never replied.

My thoughts:
1. Does she get a million pms a day that dont specifically ask to set an appt and she figured I was just wasting her time? If she responded did she think I would just want to chat with her and never set an appt.?

2. Did she read it just to read it and plan on responding later and never got around to it?

3. Did she read it and looked up my low post\review count on this board and was not interested?

4. I only sent one PM to her if I send another is that ok or do I start looking like a stalker?

5. Is "management" reading the PM rather than the specific provider?

In any case simply not responding to a PM is not polite. I see that you read it so I have to believe that you have decided I'm not worth that 20 seconds it takes to reply.

There is a 99.9% chance I put way too much analysis into it but those are the things running thru my mind when it happens.

[legman+]

I'd take Daphne's suggestion and send a followup PM. I got a reply today from a lady from a PM I sent several days ago. She's had some great reviews and lots of calls and likely PM's too. It was worth the wait. Not only did she give a sweet reply, but it's a go for setting up an appointment.

If you still get no reply and she doesn't check out your profile, hey... there are a LOT more ladies waiting who will offer both courtesy and a good time.

[Red Tex]

If she does not have time to respond she has more business than she needs.

[bigdog0311]

I agree with Red Tex, there are too many great providers out here in the D/FW metro area to worry about one that will not respond to a call/email. Most of the providers are and should be, at the very least, flattered that you picked them to want to set up an appointment with, considering the 1000s of providers out there.

[Wheretonow]

I rechecked on P411 and she did check my profile. I don't know how P411 queues things up, but her's was down the page a ways past older ones. Now it makes me even more curious about what was wrong. Although I have more than enough (considerably more) provider OKs than she requested, there may have not been enough recent ones (only two this year).

It stills beg the question as to why she couldn't have responded with "Sorry, you don't have enough recent OKs to make me feel safe" or something similar. Then I might have been encouraged to work at meeting her screening requirements instead of wondering if I even want to see her.

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by Wheretonow

I sent a PM to a provider on P411 the other day in response to her ad, which said to PM her for the password to her website. I also asked for her availability on a particular day. I never heard back, even though I had more than the number of provider OKs she requests.

She has checked into her P411 account a number of times since, so she had numerous opportunities to see/review my PM and my profile (she never did). So it leaves me wondering what I did wrong, or what about me didn't generate enough interest for her to respond.

She's a well-reviewed provider who I would have loved to have seen, but now I'm having my doubts. So guys, how persistent are you after having your initial attempts to contact a provider fail; and ladies - if you have no interest in seeing someone do you respond or just blow them off?

my suggestion - dont overthink this! and dont go reading something into the non-reply that you've made up [what did i do wrong, she doesnt like me, etc. NOT THAT I'M SAYING YOU'RE THINKING THOSE THINGS].

my procedure...
1. i send a woman a communication via her most preferred medium, if stated.
2. i follow up w/ a similar communication via her 2nd preferred medium.
wait a few days.
3. if i dont receive an answer and there is no indication she at least clicked on a box to say she "read" it -and- i'd really like to visit her, i go back to step 1.
4. i stop when i get tired of this one-side communication and move on.

Originally Posted by Red Tex

If she does not have time to respond she has more business than she needs.

there are a gazillion reasons why someone doesnt respond to a communication sent to them. the above is but ONE reason. pls dont assume it is the ONLY reason.

Originally Posted by bigdog0311

I agree with Red Tex, there are too many great providers out here in the D/FW metro area to worry about one that will not respond to a call/email. Most of the providers are and should be, at the very least, flattered that you picked them to want to set up an appointment with, considering the 1000s of providers out there.

again, who knows what one woman feels/thinks about me when i write them.
she will respond and feel about it the way she feels is best for her. far be it from me to state how she should think, assume or believe. i wouldnt want anyone to think that i should be flattered or pissed or blase about an initial or return communication.

if she responds, she responds.
if she doesnt respond, she doesnt respond.
and you go from there.

Originally Posted by Wheretonow

I rechecked on P411 and she did check my profile. I don't know how P411 queues things up, but her's was down the page a ways past older ones.
===> pmd : is there a date listed when she checked your profile? if so, that'll tell you when she saw it.

Now it makes me even more curious about what was wrong. Although I have more than enough (considerably more) provider OKs than she requested, there may have not been enough recent ones (only two this year).
===> pmd : my suggestion - dont second guess yourself and dont assume why she did/didnt respond. it'll only drive you crazy, imo.
if you want, send her a note asking if she saw your request and if there is any addtl info she requires for her screening. and let her know you are interested in visiting with her.

It stills beg the question as to why she couldn't have responded with "Sorry, you don't have enough recent OKs to make me feel safe" or something similar. Then I might have been encouraged to work at meeting her screening requirements instead of wondering if I even want to see her.
===> pmd : again, dont assume that she SHOULD have responded a particular way or wonder why she didnt.
it does sound like you are coloring your view of her so that any visit that might occur will be painted w/ that coloring.
be careful what you wish for, for you just might get it.

some women and men respond rather quickly.
some women and men respond in a few days.
some women and men never respond.

and that's the way it is.....



guess i'm in a philosophical mood this morning.
maybe, LAGNAF!

[Bloodhound]

I have two PM's that I sent well known ladies that remain unopened. One was sent 7/6 the other 7/7. I guess they must be doing very well and don't need my money. My thought is if your not going to read your PMs why not disable them like some have done.

[grnhrn]

Wheretonow, I had the exact experience. sent pm thru p411, her preferred contact, saw that she checked my profile, then no response. Also, like you, I have more than required ok's. I never heard back.. This was a reputable provider that posts a lot.
In my somewhat limited experience I've found that ladies that don't TCB well, also are questionable with their service. With the incredible number of fine ladies in the DFW area, I just move on as my "to do" list is probably more than I will ever get to anyway.

[Guest091314]

Although I believe a lady should check her email frequently lets keep in mind that ECCIE is not everyones #1 site. A certain provider may have better biz on TER or elsewhere and may spend more time there.

Its possible to overlook pm's at times when I think i have already responded to them, things just slip. A second pm couldnt hurt...

Sorry for your troubles

[Pistolero]

I go along with what pmdelites said. I had a lady from Dallas visiting out this way in west Texas.

I sent a PM on eccie and we decided to meet. Then I sent a PM on eccie to confirm. Nothing. I sent a Pm on eraps. Nothing. I sent a PM on P411. Nothing. Rinse and repeat. Nothing.

Sent an email. Answer in two minutes. Email worked quickly everytime.

So, don't give up.. I had a fun 2 hour appt.

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by Red Tex

If she does not have time to respond she has more business than she needs.

+1