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Old 04-10-2015, 09:04 PM   #1
Tickle
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Default Some things that I want to say.

Before I start, this is not about anyone in particular, but there have been many many infringements on my own personal idea of good hooker/john etiquette lately.

If you gain weight, update your pictures and info.

If you've had a kid recently, let someone know. If I wanted to fight a pile of sheets I would hit up the 800 TC section of BB&B.

If your spray tan might come off on my Canali suit, do not press against me. (And spraying on a tan doesn't change your race or ancestry, don't be a DWB).

If you are wearing a lot of perfume to an appointment don't be mad if I ask you to shower. I can't walk around smelling like a Kardashian's queef because you wanted to empty half a bottle of Light Blue.

If you are planning to do some weird shit (strange sexual fantasies and what not) let someone know, we aren't all in to that sort of thing.

If you have a messed up past or really nasty story keep it to yourself. We all have enough on our minds without group sourcing nightmare fuel.

If you have management, let us/ me know.

If you can't keep appointment times, and/or you do not know how many minutes are in an hour, maybe you shouldn't be in this profession.

Be yourself in presentation, trying hard to act like you are from a better walk of life makes you look pretentious and stupid at the same time.

Get off your phone, stay off your phone. We do not appreciate your lack of attention.

If I see you in public, we do not know each other. It isn't a personal thing, it is a confidentiality thing. I would not approach YOU at lunch with a client (or by yourself for that matter) and give you a hug and kiss, so do not do it to me.

If you want/need more money, do not beat around the bush. I don't want to hear about how your rent is due, how your car broke down, how your dog is sick, or how your annuity is doing bad. Be direct and we might be able to work something out, or I might be feeling generous. I don't lend money, so don't ask me to 'borrow' it.

Lastly, mind your things. Handbags and the contents of said bags. I will not 'bring' you an item you left, I would not ask you to deliver things to me, don't ask me to deliver to you.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:18 PM   #2
pyramider
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You need to evaluate your selection process ... ijs.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:22 PM   #3
Tickle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pyramider View Post
You need to evaluate your selection process ... ijs.
I don't generally select them, rarely have enough privacy.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:25 PM   #4
Grace Preston
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I'm not even sure if it is a selection issue. I hear about a couple of these line items from gents all the time. The spray tan issue and the Kardashian Queef issue are rampant. Surprisingly enough.. a lot of ladies also think that wearing glitter is a great idea...

If it rubs off on your sheets, it rubs off on your gents. They can't go home looking like a sparkly, sweet smelling Oompa Loompa.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:34 PM   #5
Reverseheadstock
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"They can't go home looking like a sparkly, sweet smelling Oompa Loompa."
That is some funny fucking shit!
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:36 PM   #6
Grace Preston
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Hey-- I'm not wrong!!!
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:37 PM   #7
Tickle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reverseheadstock View Post
"They can't go home looking like a sparkly, sweet smelling Oompa Loompa."
That is some funny fucking shit!
It really isn't, getting a suit cleaned is a major pain in the ass if you are leaving in the morning and the stain occurred at night.
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:00 PM   #8
TinMan
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Maybe you should step up from that Cannoli suit to a JC Penney model. I'm able to wipe that spray tan shit right off. I'm thinking it may be the higher grade polyester.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:11 PM   #9
FireKitten
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What? You don't select your own ladies??? Smh.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:17 PM   #10
wellendowed1911
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tickle View Post
Before I start, this is not about anyone in particular, but there have been many many infringements on my own personal idea of good hooker/john etiquette lately.

If you gain weight, update your pictures and info.

If you've had a kid recently, let someone know. If I wanted to fight a pile of sheets I would hit up the 800 TC section of BB&B.

If your spray tan might come off on my Canali suit, do not press against me. (And spraying on a tan doesn't change your race or ancestry, don't be a DWB).

If you are wearing a lot of perfume to an appointment don't be mad if I ask you to shower. I can't walk around smelling like a Kardashian's queef because you wanted to empty half a bottle of Light Blue.

If you are planning to do some weird shit (strange sexual fantasies and what not) let someone know, we aren't all in to that sort of thing.

If you have a messed up past or really nasty story keep it to yourself. We all have enough on our minds without group sourcing nightmare fuel.

If you have management, let us/ me know.

If you can't keep appointment times, and/or you do not know how many minutes are in an hour, maybe you shouldn't be in this profession.

Be yourself in presentation, trying hard to act like you are from a better walk of life makes you look pretentious and stupid at the same time.

Get off your phone, stay off your phone. We do not appreciate your lack of attention.

If I see you in public, we do not know each other. It isn't a personal thing, it is a confidentiality thing. I would not approach YOU at lunch with a client (or by yourself for that matter) and give you a hug and kiss, so do not do it to me.

If you want/need more money, do not beat around the bush. I don't want to hear about how your rent is due, how your car broke down, how your dog is sick, or how your annuity is doing bad. Be direct and we might be able to work something out, or I might be feeling generous. I don't lend money, so don't ask me to 'borrow' it.

Lastly, mind your things. Handbags and the contents of said bags. I will not 'bring' you an item you left, I would not ask you to deliver things to me, don't ask me to deliver to you.
I don't think that will ever happen- even with ladies who are obviously managed/pimped will always claim they are independent.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:29 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tickle View Post
If you are planning to do some weird shit (strange sexual fantasies and what not) let someone know, we aren't all in to that sort of thing.
I'm guilty of that one!
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:42 PM   #12
wellendowed1911
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrownSugarBaby View Post
I'm guilty of that one!
lol
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Old 04-11-2015, 12:39 AM   #13
Guest041715
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Preach Tickle
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Old 04-11-2015, 04:32 AM   #14
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ha!
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Old 04-11-2015, 05:19 AM   #15
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How does one not select their own ladies?
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