Screening issues.

[Guest062912]

So the past few days I have sent out over a dozen reference requests to different ladies... only two have responded so far. As you can imagine, this is extremely frustrating not only to me, but to the clients waiting to be screened. As of now, the only other screening option I entertain is work verification, but many many gents are not comfortable with that, and I can understand. However, I still need to feel safe with whomever I am about to meet.

So, my question to the ladies and the gents (yes, you too guys), is what do you recommend? Are there screening techniques you have thought of? Do you offer another alternative that I might find useful? I could really use the help here. It seems that ladies are getting more competitive lately, and less willing to help their fellow provider stay safe (and thank you very very much to the ladies who still care!). I would really love to hear as many alternatives as may have been considered. I hate leaving these poor gents waiting, and I'd love to be able to offer some more alternatives....

[Bloodhound]

P411?

[Guest062912]

P411 falls under "references" for me, since I still always ask some of the more recent okays if they had any issues or can offer any advice on a particular client. Even with P411 it's getting hard to get a response... thankfully, there are still a large percentage of the ladies on there who WILL respond, even if it's just to say "Well, I gave him an okay, so he's okay" lol. Appreciate the idea, though.

[Daen1304]

Well, I am personally okay with work verification. At least where I work no one really bats an eye when a woman calls up looking for a employment verification. Every call I received for work verifications for apartments and other companies all had a woman doing the calls. But if some guys feel uncomfortable with it, may I suggest offering them the option for you to come up with an alias for it? So that way you can say "I am 'so and so' from 'blah blah blah' inc. And I am calling to verify that John is indeed working there." The beuaty of that is that if the guy can make up whatever cover story he may choose for the verification.

[Guest062912]

Of course, I've always told gents that I can say whatever they like. Typically I just give a bogus name and say I'm returning their call, but they can tell me whatever they would like me to say to get transferred to them.

I'm really looking for radically different ideas here. Like maybe background checks? But that could get pricey for me, unless I charge the gent the fee, and it would really suck for him if he didn't get cleared... Things like that...

[Waldo P. Emerson-Jones]

The reason I wouldn't give out my employment information or information for any escort to do a background check is precisely because I do not want her to have my personal information. It has nothing to do with a fear that she'll accidentally screw up when calling my office to verify that I am who I say I am. It has everything to do with making myself vulnerable to blackmail, retaliation for some real or imagined slight, and/or just plain psycho crazy bitch. So, I'm skeptical that anything like a background check would be acceptable to a guy who won't give employment information.

Assuming p411 OKs are not good enough by themselves and you can't get the escorts he's seen to return a call or email, the only other ideas I have is going by his posting and review history on the board or a meet and greet. Obviously, neither of these are perfect. Personally, if I were an escort, I'd trust posting history less than p411 OKs. And, as a guy, I won't pay an escort to meet me for drinks or food, but I'm not sure it's worth the extra time if I'm an escort to do it for free.

[g3wq9xg]

You know Traci: I would say that P411 with okays should be sufficient. Maybe if only one okay, that would not be enough, but with multiple okays from providers who are well known should be good. And it is probably the best you can get because there is no sure thing--even they way you want to screen.

I have read unfortunate stories on here from providers who were ripped off or physically hurt by a "client" (actually scumbag) they had seen on multiple prior occasions. It's crazy, but it happens and you would think you would be safe with someone you had seen before without any issues. You have to keep your guard up even with guys you had seen before without any issue.

The very unfortunate thing is there is a level of danger/risk in your line of work. It's unfortunate because I for one truly appreciate the service many of you are willing to provide and provide very well. And it sucks when one person ruins it for the rest of us and it just sucks when one of you are treated in that way.

[Daen1304]

Originally Posted by g3wq9xg

I have read unfortunate stories on here from providers who were ripped off or physically hurt by a "client" (actually scumbag) they had seen on multiple prior occasions. It's crazy, but it happens and you would think you would be safe with someone you had seen before without any issues. You have to keep your guard up even with guys you had seen before without any issue.

You know, I don't think very highly of the human race. I look at it like the brilliant genius kid in school, who instead of graduating with high honors throws cherry bombs down the tiolets. And because of that I have become cynical and jaded to most horrors this world has to offer. But hearing this makes me sad. And I mean watching commercials of starving third world children sad.

[Jules Jaguar]

I too have had some problems getting references lately, I have been advising people to pre book for that very reason and that sucks because some guys schedules do not permit that. I agree that P411 is the least painless way to screen. If a guy has multiple okays from well known ladies I feel a lot better going into our first meeting for sure.

[Duke of G]

One key point about references: Gentlemen should let the girl being referenced know that they should expect a call from the lady doing screening. Just like a job reference, it's a courtesy that should be extended so that the lady being asked "hey have you met so-and-so?" is not blindsided.

This also may increase the likelihood of getting a response, as the initial contact is from a client.

It ALSO means that gentlemen can verify the fact that the lady is willing to actually BE a reference, which (in theory) improves the quality of the reference.

[guest043013-2]

I rarely get asked for references, but when I do, I always contact my references and let them know what is going on, and usually ask if they can send the provider I wish to see a PM.

Employment checks and background checks would be a no go for me. Just ain't going to give out that kind of info on a first visit. If you make it to a third visit, we will probably know enough about each other that this is a mute point.

I also generally start my contact with a lady several days in advance. I may not even have a set date I wish to see her, but I make sure she is okay to see me before we get down to scheduling. I learned long ago that last minute visits usually either fail or disappoint. Better to get all of the preliminaries done upfront. Heck, depending on the responses I get from my request, I may decide a lady is not my cup of tea.

[Guest062912]

P411 is indeed a wonderful screening tool, but as Gina has been quoted numerous times saying, it is merely a tool. I do not rely on P411 okays alone for my screening. I want to hear the actual opinions of the ladies, as "okay" can mean many different things to many different ladies. So while I do very much appreciate your reassurances that P411 okays should be enough, for me they are not. Let me give you a few examples of gents that I have met with P411: two that kept trying to take off the condom, one whose hygiene was so bad that I was literally getting sick from being near him, one who was.. um.. influenced by things we can't talk about (scared the hell out of me, that one), one who was almost violently pushy, I don't even know how many that refused to understand the word "NO" (usually had something to do with my anus), and two who shorted me on my donation. All of them had at least 3 okays, most had many more than that. THIS is why I contact ladies even if they've already given an "okay."

Look, here's where I'm coming from, guys. I am 5'1" and weigh 110lbs. I hold no delusions of being able to take on a man in a physical confrontation. I will lose. I'm extremely aware of this. I realize I accept the possibility that this will happen to me every time I go to work, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to do absolutely everything in my power to try to prevent it. I have a list of positive reviews as long as my arm. There has never been an alert about me (that I'm aware of, anyway). I just want to be able to keep myself safe. The most common and simplest way to do that is references. But references don't always work, for various reasons. Short of other ladies in my position being willing to tell me that this guy didn't offend or hurt them, and probably won't offend or hurt me either, I need a way to ensure a man's good behavior. That will involve leverage. That leverage is needed because I NEED this person to know that if they try to hurt me, I can hurt them back. I'm not screening for LE. LE doesn't want to jump through my hoops, so they are the last worry on my mind. I'm screening for bad behavior. Obviously I can't call up your personal friends and family and ask them if you'd be nice to an escort, and I don't want to. So I get your personal information (job info), verify that it is accurate, and I can now go into an appointment with confidence that you and I both know I can hurt you back if you hurt me. It makes sense to me that this would ensure good behavior. I don't actually care if you have a job or not. I'm not screening to see if you have gainful employment. I'm weaving my safety net. And of the many gents that I have screened using this, you won't find one that will tell you that I screwed up his professional life. It's never happened.

Now, when it comes to a lady like myself, considering you've done your homework and know that I'm not crazy or out to ruin you, what else could I do to make you and me both comfortable meeting should references, P411, and work verification not be an option? It doesn't even have to apply to YOU. Maybe you think of something but you're like "I would never let an escort screen me that way." I don't care, say it anyway. Maybe it will be the brilliant solution for someone else.

I hear you on meeting first, but that's not really a rational option to me. All that proves to me is that you are a man and you breathe. You think a rapist couldn't behave himself admirably in public for an hour or two first? And frankly, I don't trust my gut with my life. Same goes for a gent's posts. That doesn't tell me anything other than that you can type.

And believe me, I AM hearing you guys about the work verification... you don't want to give a lady leverage. And that's fine, I get it. But your comfort does not outweigh mine, considering what could happen to me. A lady like me is not going to change her mind and take a chance on you. I'm just looking for some other options. I WANT to see you guys, but I don't want to get killed, raped, robbed, beaten, or otherwise. Help me out here.

Oh, and let me throw in that YES, letting your refs know that they should be expecting me to contact them would be a HUGE help. At the very least, you know she is purposefully not being a reference for you if she doesn't respond to me, and you'll know not to waste time using her as a ref anymore.

Ok, sorry, I know that was long. :P What say you?

[Invisible1]

Traci B,
Perhaps you might accept being a little less independent in order to increase your safety. You could share an incall or partner up with someone so you can watch each other's backs or be around while the other is with someone new. A brick & mortar agency is a potential option. Other independent girls share and pay a designated person to handle appointments and screen clients to the particular provider’s level of comfort. In time you will most likely get multiple regulars, but I understand that it is difficult to get regulars if guys cannot see you a first time.

There have been a few amazing girls who have ‘cum’ and gone in the DFW area because their screening process too often got in the way of the enjoyment of meeting them. As always, there is a balancing of risks and decisions that every business owner has to deal with.

[Guest062912]

Thank you, Invisible1, but I assure you I am already well established. This isn't a desperate plea from a newbie who is scared and confused. I've been around for quite a while now and already have many regulars whom I enjoy and appreciate. But new clients are necessary sometimes, and screening them is difficult. I will never work for an agency, and I don't see how putting another lady in just as much danger by using her as an excuse not to screen well is wise. I do appreciate your ideas, but they are not quite what I'm looking for.

[BigPurdy]

Traci,

This is an issue that gets more complcated with time. Especially with the recent influx of LE in some areas. Those things make screening of newbies extremely difficult, almost to the point of not being worth the risk. However, established clients really shouldn't be so difficult. There are numerous tools that could be incorporated, such as a client database or possibly a client rating system, but unfortunately non of these things are any better than the data that is provided for them not to mention the work load that would be added to someone. And in the end, I suppose they would really be no different from P411.

I completely understand the frustration as I have recently been a part of it and I understand your attempt at stimulating us to think "outside the box". I think the bottom line is for everyone to become more cohesive and attempt to watch each others back and open the flow of information. That should include better communication between the client and the references he uses. It's almost a "Catch 22". We are all trying to keep information from each other and on the other hand a certain amount is required to join the fray.

One thing that has worked for me on several occassions is having another guy vouch for me. You may be surprised at how many of us have friends and drinking buddies all in this same network. Just a thought, it is not the normal means of screening.