Well...damn Me..

[Guest032514-1]

It's finally happened. I have a date coming up and every activity requested is not on my "preferred/like/like a lot" list. None are on my No list but none are on the Yes. Yes! YES!! list.

The guys interview is A-OK. Seems like a great person...and I'm kinda Ho Hum about it. Don't get me wrong..he will have a great date.

I just might not!

Where do you go? How do you handle such a situation as a Dom/Domme? (NOT even getting into the 4p aspect!) I take my responsibilities pretty seriously - but I wanna have fun too!

*Maybe I'll get more excited as the date gets closer.

**Maybe the last saturday of feb would be a great day to book a second date? I may need it!

[stavinChain]

Be sure and write a review.

[Sidewinder]

OK, I guess I don't understand.

There ARE times when the right thing to do with a prospective client is refer them out to someone who is in your opinion better-suited for them.

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by Sidewinder

OK, I guess I don't understand.

There ARE times when the right thing to do with a prospective client is refer them out to someone who is in your opinion better-suited for them.

There isn't another in this area. Not a "real" one.

It's not that he won't have an ass-kickin time, it's that I won't! Usually, there is at least something that works for both (on a top 5, top 10 list so to speak), this time - not for me. (Did I never mention I am a selfish greedy bitch?)

I've been working the session out in my head and I just don't have the hook yet.
The research however .......now that's been fun. I'll get it.

[Guest022210]

It's not that he won't have an ass-kickin time, it's that I won't! Usually, there is at least something that works for both (on a top 5, top 10 list so to speak), this time - not for me. (Did I never mention I am a selfish greedy bitch?)

And that's why the lady gets the big bucks.

[Sidewinder]

OK, then maybe I should put it this way.

If you are not comfortable with seeing a particular client, say so and move on. If the session isn't going to be some level of fun for you, it probably isn't going to be worth the money.

I'm assuming that this guy is a Sub looking for a Domme. If he is a real Sub, then, BY DEFINITION, his pleasure comes from serving YOU in the way that YOU want to be served. If he isn't playing that way, there's a problem.

If this guy is a Dom, and requires you to serve in ways that you do not enjoy, you are always free to PUT DOWN THE COLLAR AND WALK AWAY FROM IT. It is polite to tell him why you are walking away.

Yes, I have heard of "topping from the bottom". I don't approve. If there's a mismatch, then BOTH parties should be seeking other partners.

Yes, I am fully aware that the Domme must respect the Sub's limits. You don't want to break your toys, and it is impolite to the next person to visit the playground to damage the playground equipment.

As a Dom, part of my job is training my Sub to feel PLEASURE while serving me, to derive PLEASURE from pleasing me. (Watch how a dog wags his tail when his master says "GOOD DOG!" when the dog has done something right. The dog ENJOYS pleasing the master. With proper training, females experience and show JUST as much pleasure when Master says "Good girl!" with that same intonation and emotional state.)

[Guest032514-1]

I hear ya. We'll be good. I think I found what I needed last night.

[blowpop]

I think this highlights one of the problems of D/S in the P4P world, specifically hiring a dom. In the D/S arena, the sub is there to do the dom's bidding (within the realm of negotiated limits). But in P4P, the provider is there to do the client's bidding, again within the realm of negotiated limits.

So I'd argue that this sort of P4P D/S scene is a classic example of topping from the bottom. I'd further argue that the only way for a sub to have a true sub experience in P4P is to let the dom set the agenda. The sub conveys her limits, and the dom works inside those parameters. But what the sub thinks she likes is not really the point, is it?

But that's just my opinion, and I don't have a lot of patience for subs who try to top from the bottom. They are typically brats who are in need of firm correction.

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by blowpop

I think this highlights one of the problems of D/S in the P4P world, specifically hiring a dom. In the D/S arena, the sub is there to do the dom's bidding (within the realm of negotiated limits). But in P4P, the provider is there to do the client's bidding, again within the realm of negotiated limits.

So I'd argue that this sort of P4P D/S scene is a classic example of topping from the bottom. I'd further argue that the only way for a sub to have a true sub experience in P4P is to let the dom set the agenda. The sub conveys her limits, and the dom works inside those parameters. But what the sub thinks she likes is not really the point, is it?

But that's just my opinion, and I don't have a lot of patience for subs who try to top from the bottom. They are typically brats who are in need of firm correction.

Pretty much, yes. And at the same time, No. As both a hired Domme and a rl Domme, it is my responsibility to know. As a hired Domme, as soon as I agree to the scene, I have agreed to abide by the clients' perimeters - no matter what. Whereas in RL, time rarely factors in and limits can be pressed. There is less freedom as a Domme in p4p. p4p is more challenging to me, and that's okie dokie. I love a challenge.

I will not take a scene I cannot find interest in - in real life. <- That's the selfish greedy me who usually gets her way. I'm human.

As a p4p Domme, I will not take a challenge that I cannot meet and have to be happy with the reality that my only satisfaction may be that of "a job well done". <- Same as RL.

I would rather a "hobbyist" come to me ( a real life, trained, Domina) than go see someone "who can do it." What is asked for is a sub's prerogative and is respected. How I deliver on the request.....well, now....That's my prerogative, isn't it? And as A Domme (paid or not) is my duty.

[Guest032514-1]

I love my job.

[jwayne]

well how did it go? Eagar minds would ilke to know.

[Guest050911]

Yes, Yes DOOOO tell!!

[ElisabethWhispers]

I'll third that request!!!


Elisabeth