Do I have the right to be ticked off?

[2wheels2fun]

My apologies to those who don't want to read about drama, but this morning I am a wee bit ticked off.

THURSDAY of last week, I called a P411 provider who is "newbie friendly" (I have one OK on my profile) to see if she would be available for an appointment that evening. She said she might be available after 8pm if she could arrange child care. Sounded reasonable, I realise providers have real lives. She never called.

FRIDAY of last week, I called her to see if I could see her Tuesday at 7pm. She said to call back Saturday night to see if she had arranged child care.

SATURDAY of last week, I called as she requested. She said Tuesday at 7pm was fine. I told her I'd call Tuesday afternoon with the location.

TUESDAY (yesterday) I called her with the location. She said that she had tried to contact the provider who had OK'd me, but without luck, and that she didn't know yet if she had any child care lined up.

Let me clarify here, I'm not ticked that she tried to contact my OK provider. She has every right to do so. But if that is a condition for her seeing me, she shouldn't list herself as "newbie friendly." The other part is that she waited until after I had paid for the room to tell me that she wanted to speak to the other provider and hadn't heard from her.

I'm ticked that based on the conversation from Saturday, it sounded like she was willing to see me last night. Based on that, I paid for a room. Now I'm out the cost of the room. I don't hobby a great deal because I'm not a rich man. Am I justified in being ticked off, or am I overreacting?

[charlestudor2005]

I think you'll find that the ladies and the around here will say you have no right to be ticked off. And I would almost be in their camp except you are a . Some ladies in this business have a real problem with TCB, and after the 2nd time, I would have been extremely cautious.

Here are a couple of tips that might help in the future:

1. You mention P411. If you are a member there, great. If not, spring for a membership...it'll get you over most screening problems.
2. If you're going to spring for the room, then tell the provider to secure the room but you'll pay for it in addition to the donation; or, meet at the notel, and pay only after she is there.

A little history from my viewpoint. I only hobby when I'm traveling, but I travel a lot. One time I tried to meet a lady at her incall. I spent over $60 in cabs getting to her 4-star hotel and back. I got there at the appointed time, and she never called. I left about a half hour later because hotel security was scrutinizing me as I hung around the lobby. Pissed me off big time.

Now, I only do outcalls. I have the provider come to me. Some won't do outcalls at all. Some will do outcalls only with someone they have seen before. Some charge xtra for an outcall. Tough. Since I started that policy, the only problem I've had is the lady shows up late...or doesn't show up at all.

You have to strategize to protect your $$. For me it's doing only outcalls. It might be different for you.

My $.02.

[MrGiz]

Should you be pissed? Probably so.... but maybe just a little bit with yourself, as well!

Unfortunately... I know it's hindsight now, but this should be a lesson to confirm appointments a little closer to time of play, before spending money on a room. Saturday would have been too early for me to feel secure enough with the confirmation, to spend money for a room on Tuesday.... with zero communication in between. Hindsight says that you should have confirmed the date on Tuesday, before dropping the bucks on the room.

One of the things you will learn as a newbie, is to never be too optimistic and feel sure things are going to go according to script..... days ahead of time!

On another note.... it's not at all odd for a P411 girl to check with your P411 account okays, as a secondary level of screening.

Obviously, there are differences of opinion... about what's best.... incall or outcall.... you'll have to figure that on out on your own. Generally speaking, I prefer incall.... unless I am traveling and already have a room. I can easily see how getting a room, specifically for a hobby appointment, can often have undesireable outcums!

Am I a ? Naaaaahahhh.... I don't think so!
But I did fuck around in a Holiday Inn Express last week!

Giz

[Miss Dreams]

Never get the hotel untill you are for sure that the date is officially on...
Basically once the provider is on their way. Sounds like you should be a little upset but not ticked off, sounds like she was maybe having second thoughts... just hold in there buddy, there are more providers around.
lol Giz that last part was funny!

[charlestudor2005]

I agree mostly with Giz (note time and date...lol). In addition to my previous post: A little mad w/ yourself...yes. Considered the date made too soon...yes.

Still think you need to figure out how you're going to hobby so you don't put your $$ at risk w/o a return.

[2wheels2fun]

I scheduled that far ahead because Tuesday was the first night which worked with my work schedule, and I figured if a same-day appointment was too short of notice, maybe a couple days would give her adequate time to TCB. Lesson learned and Ms. Dreams is right. Never get the room too early. I do know there are other providers; I'm seeing one later this week.

[charlestudor2005]

Best of luck & hobby safely.

[Miss Dreams]

Good Luck Huni.

[guest071811-3]

As suggested best bet is always to tell a provider the hotel you are considering, and confirm and confirm again she is coming.. then you can get the room, and give her the room number before she arrives, since many women won't arrive at a hotel unless they can confirm the guy has indeed checked in..

Also, realize that "child care" is a safe way to back out of any date.. do i know the girl.. no.. do i know she is lying.. of course not.. however a girl using "child care" even legit.. is a safe way to get out of an appointment and if the guy complains to much causes him to look like a uncaring ass in the process if he bitches.. its not unthinkable that the girl uses that excuses with everyone that contacts her..thus giving her time to investigate the guy and/or gives her a way out of the appointment without declining it.. i mean based on your account of the conversation, you said that she claimed to not be able to contact the provider..and didn't know if she had child care lined out?!? so what if she had of gotten in touch with the provider..got the ok.. then what? i mean given her excuse she still wouldn't have made it because she was unsure of her child care status..or that is her "backup" plan at all times and a good way out of an appointment.. i mean seriously, she said she could make it, had no idea that your provider vouch wouldn't check out but yet still didn't have child care lined out?

the first time any girl gives some excuse "child care", or anything of the sorts for having to cancel, if you try to schedule her again, ask her point blank.. if her "child care" issues will be a problem within 100% accuracy..because you can not afford any errors or unforeseen "excuses".. but only after the first time they dump some b.s excuse.

sorry it happened, majority of the time its really best to realize most excuses tossed out are just that and not worth much.. move on and have fun with professionals

[Randi]

Uummm yeah!! You have every right to be pissed!! If she told you That Tuesday at 7pm would work, in MY world that means you are officially screened..I've Done my homework already
and I'm looking forward to a good time!! But then again I take what I do seriously and don't fvck around playing games with guys heads!! Of COURSE I'd check with the provider who ok'd you but to let you belive all is a go..NO that is purely unprofessional!!! But that's just my opinion!! Sorry that happened to you wheels!!!