Screening works... on me?

[dmcleod]

Well it's been over a week, with no further communication, so I guess that's pretty definitive. I've been screened out. In retrospect I should have seen this coming. I've been out of the hobby for over a decade, probably about twelve or thirteen years overall. I have no current references, no p411, no activity on my eccie account. I really haven't been active since the days of aspd(pre-raps) and even then I was winding down. Most of my time was spent on the old school ASP(old fart points to people who know what that is). Heck I remember when Bustygirl founded ASPD and people on usenet(more old fart points here) were like "wtf?" I made an account there and posted a bit, but its rise coincided with my decline in hobbying. I was focused on other stuff in life.

I kept a tangential eye on the hobby, saw the transition from ASPD to RAPS and what girls stayed around and which ones flamed out. The ones who caught my eye the most were the ones who avoided drama and kept providing consistently good service year in and year out. I was sad over the demise of both the founder and the site. I found eccie forums and registered, but never posted. Wasn't sure if it was really going to survive, or everyone would end up at one of the other splinter sites, or maybe TER. Private Connections was the best agency around(sad to see it folded, but good for Gina that P411 took off!). Drifted in and out again.

Followed some of the Craigslist drama, wow that was/is messed up. Backpage was just a step up from CL, if that.

Saw that one of the ladies I had made note of was back in town and still providing good service with no drama and high standards and started feeling that pull again. One day I end up with a half day at the office and since this particular lady keeps more daytime hours I dropped her an email.

And that's where it went off the rails. I wasn't thinking of myself as a random newbie looking for a same-day appointment. I even made a point of mentioning how I'd been around a long time, just out of practice for a while. Gave a phone number for my office cell phone(which isn't registered in my name in stuff like tineye). Yea, well, this is the forum for entertainment right? The more I think about it the more warning flags must have gone off. Same day appointment request, no current refs/p411, Eccie handle with no posting/review history, mention of old school stuff, especially ASP, and an unverifiable phone number. Any one of those would have been enough on its own really. And it shows how out of touch I am that I didn't see that.

Well, the coup de grace on my cluelessness was the bottle of Newton Unfiltered Cabernet I picked up in anticipation of getting a message with directions in it.

Oh well, stupidity is supposed to hurt, right? Guess I'll be calling Gina if I continue to feel the pull of the hobby.

[pyramider]

You are butt sore because no one has responded to you? Have you approached newbie friendly ladies? There are several and most respond quickly. Or just download the porn and enjoy your bottle of whine.

[sweet.treat69]

I agree, I think you really need to find some newbie friendly ladies who you would be able to use as a reference later. Most girls won't see newbies, myself included. I would be taking too big of a risk by not screening guys. You never know who you're going to end up meeting. I always feel a little more secure knowing that 3 or more ladies have seen someone and can give a good recommendation versus someone who can't provide any screening information.

[Mojojo]

If you networked any you should reach out to those guys see if they'll vouch for you.

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by mojojo213

If you networked any you should reach out to those guys see if they'll vouch for you.

How does one man know what another man is like BCD? Personally I wouldn't accept a vouch from another hobbyist but that's just me. I think p411 would be the best way, IMO.

[Mojojo]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

How does one man know what another man is like BCD? Personally I wouldn't accept a vouch from another hobbyist but that's just me. I think p411 would be the best way, IMO.

If you decide to see him/her BCD or not is for you to determine, as a male member I can only vouch for someone I know isn't LE.

If an old buddy of mine came back and needed a vouch but didn't have a recent provider reference due to being out of the game for long, I'd vouch to say he's cool not LE. There's been a few instances I've done it and haven't steered any ladies wrong yet.

To answer your question though there is a way one can know that info, instances like MFM and Gangbangs would be exceptions don't you think?

But I can't choose a screening method for you or any other ladies so if you don't feel comfortable accepting a vouch from a male member that's all you, after all it is you girls business not mine.

[Guest071613-2]

Yeah but unless it's another gangbang or MFM, you simply cannot vouch for how another guy will be one-on-one. Also, it's been a long time since the OP has hobbied. You would vouch for someone you haven't heard from in a decade or longer?

But I can't choose a screening method for you...

Maybe that's not such a bad thing!

[Mojojo]

Originally Posted by mojojo213

If you decide to see him/her BCD or not is for you to determine, as a male member I can only vouch for someone I know isn't LE.

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

Yeah but unless it's another gangbang or MFM, you simply cannot vouch for how another guy will be one-on-one. Also, it's been a long time since the OP has hobbied. You would vouch for someone you haven't heard from in a decade or longer?

I think my bold statement about covers what or who im willing to vouch for.. As far as someone I haven't seen in a while, I usually keep in touch with my good friend so yes I would, chances are I have caught up with that person if im vouching for them on a personal level.

Originally Posted by mojojo213

I can't choose a screening method for you .

Originally Posted by TheOriginalDannie

Maybe that's not such a bad thing!

Hey whatever works for you peaches! In the end it's you providers who will decide if they see that person or not.

[johnnylongcaulking]

Originally Posted by pyramider

You are butt sore because no one has responded to you? Have you approached newbie friendly ladies? There are several and most respond quickly. Or just download the porn and enjoy your bottle of whine.

You sir are a giant cock! Note I am not referencing the size of your member. This guy made a post and expressed some disappointment. He wasn't overtly critical of any specific lady or even of the screening processes in general. If anything he was a bit self-effacing. Could one of your responses to a post be something not reminiscent of an asshole?

[erykadelacruz]

I am newbie friendly .
Many of my provider friends are newbie friendly also .

[guest061212-1]

A girl would probably take a vouch for a guy from another guy in many situations, but mostly because she knows and trusts the voucher very very well. There are many reasons not to and that is a personal choice in screening.

DMcleod, see a couple of girls who will give you P411 vouches and use that. Being a famous john is a dumb idea. It happens to a lot of guys because the average active continuous business lifespan of a provider is short.

Don't worry about the girl not getting back to you on the screening. We got a lot of hookers who don't have any business skills; one of the features that separates an "escort" for a "hooker". It happens a lot. I learned to recognize it as a sign of someone who I would is not at the level of professionalism that I was looking for in the first place.

[dmcleod]

Just to clarify, the lady did exactly the right thing. I probably should have titled this "in praise of the screening process" because that's really what it is. It was the disconnect between my hobby-life self image and the reality of my current situation which caused my confusion. It's like seeing a picture of yourself from a random gathering and being like "damn, I look like that?"

I had an image of myself as someone who knew what was what and how to do things, and that was true a decade ago, but as the photo plainly shows, it ain't true today. She responded promptly to every one of my messages except the one with the warning flags. She handled it 100% professionally and I have no complaints. I didn't measure up, and in retrospect I can see why.

The lady in question, if anything, has MORE respect from me because even if she didn't send me a courtesy message letting me know I failed screening, she did the right thing to keep herself safe and that's what's important. Back in the day on ASP there was no segregation between provider forums and hobbyist forums. So some of the scams, assaults, stings, etc. that providers were victims of were public knowledge. I can't blame ANYONE for taking steps to protect themselves, and I actually appreciate it because that means she's safe, other clients are safe, and she can continue to give the drama-free service she's known for. Maybe someday I'll try again, but with references/p411.

A couple other points have been brought up. I've got the paperwork/references of a newbie, but the mind and age of an oldbie. If I was chatting with someone and I said I was a newbie but brought up stuff I knew about from the ASPD/RAPS days that could skeeve her out or set off a LE alarm. Neither of which is my goal, but now that I'm in an introspective mood, I could see that happening.

As for hobbyists vouching for hobbyists, that's totally ymmv. I can see situations where it would work and be safe and sane, but I can see places where it would be a huge risk and I can't blame anyone for where they draw their own personal lines. When one of my best friends was having relationship problems I would have vouched for him with a provider, better than the affairs he was getting entangled with. But I can't see that being much of a substitute for screening in most cases.

Someone suggested sending out multiple contact requests and doing the first come first served approach, but that's soo not me. I do my homework to avoid drama and bad experiences, that's why I'm here and not on BP or CL. Does it narrow my opportunities? Absolutely. But one of the things that drove me out of the hobby the first time was a frank discussion with a girl in an AMP that led me to believe she had been trafficked. Major rude awakening and moral shakeup. Not something I care to repeat.

[Iluvwomen]

There are plenty of providers out there who will see hobbiest who only hobby every now and then or not enough to keep a current set of references. I have found that these ladies are typically more high class, drama free, are lower volume, cost a little more, but really know how to treat a man who truly appreciates what they provide. Especially when they are aware that you do really appreciate what they provide and understand that they are not just another piece of meat. Have a little patience, inquire with respect, and you will eventually be rewarded.

I have never understood the audtitioning (screening) process that some hookers insist upon. No hooker is worth having to see 3 others you have no interest in seeing, taking notes on what their incall looks like or remembering what they ate that day, or doing something else in hopes that they might remember you to provide a reference; so that you can be "qualified" to see previously said hooker if you ask me.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by johnnylongcaulking

You sir are a giant cock! Note I am not referencing the size of your member. This guy made a post and expressed some disappointment. He wasn't overtly critical of any specific lady or even of the screening processes in general. If anything he was a bit self-effacing. Could one of your responses to a post be something not reminiscent of an asshole?

Please make up your mind ... I am either a giant cock or an asshole ...

The hobby really has not changed over the last 10 to 15 years. The ladies screen. The ladies might not respond to calls, emails, or pms. Nothing has changed.

[Guest071613-2]

Originally Posted by Iluvwomen

I have never understood the audtitioning (screening) process that some hookers insist upon.

That's because you've never been a "hooker"...

....unless there is something you aren't telling us